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noisy babies/toddlers in public

qwerty
over 5 years ago

I have often had to make the sacrifice to leave a public place early (e.g., a cafe or grocery store) because parents bring their babies, or sometimes young children, and they start screaming. And sometimes it can last for a while. And many people seem to think it's okay, since they are babies, and babies cry. But on the other hand, the parents can be more responsible and leave the public place. Some parents are more considerate and try to not stay in the same place forever when they have a screaming baby. While others seem perfectly fine to continue having their tea in the cafe or spend their time shopping while their children are being noisy. I find the screaming really hard to bear, and it's even physically painful sometimes and that I want to cry. I often leave if it continues for too long. But it seems unfair that it's me leaving instead of the baby making the noise in the middle of 20-30 people leaving. Any ideas on how to cope when a people bring noisy babies/toddlers? Or anyone else feel that it is unfair?

Parents
  • over 5 years ago

    I suspect they are designed by evolution to be difficult to ignore!  I sometimes refer to them as "un-ignorable biological alarm clocks" :-).

    It is a very harsh sound, and I suspect it's designed to cause some sort of emotional pull on us.  But I wonder if our slightly differing wiring can impact how that is perceived?

    I often joke that such loud children occur because their parents have gotten the gin dosage wrong and they need more gin :-D.

    But I think it's something that happens and we should try and adjust for it.  If you find it particularly distressing then the idea of ear-plugs sounds good.  I think someone suggested recently there are good ones available for musicians?  Maybe that can dull the sound down to a tolerable level for you.

    As much as it's tempting I think it's best to try and be reasonably non-judgemental about the parents.  You don't know what's led up to them being in that situation, and potentially there could be a good reason for what's happening - such as their child is autistic and having a meltdown due to over-stimulation.

Reply
  • over 5 years ago

    I suspect they are designed by evolution to be difficult to ignore!  I sometimes refer to them as "un-ignorable biological alarm clocks" :-).

    It is a very harsh sound, and I suspect it's designed to cause some sort of emotional pull on us.  But I wonder if our slightly differing wiring can impact how that is perceived?

    I often joke that such loud children occur because their parents have gotten the gin dosage wrong and they need more gin :-D.

    But I think it's something that happens and we should try and adjust for it.  If you find it particularly distressing then the idea of ear-plugs sounds good.  I think someone suggested recently there are good ones available for musicians?  Maybe that can dull the sound down to a tolerable level for you.

    As much as it's tempting I think it's best to try and be reasonably non-judgemental about the parents.  You don't know what's led up to them being in that situation, and potentially there could be a good reason for what's happening - such as their child is autistic and having a meltdown due to over-stimulation.

Children