Published on 12, July, 2020
Depression is even more likely to affect those in the autism community than it affects neurotypicals and the non-disabled, because of the lifelong torture that people with autism go through on a daily basis. And people on the autism spectrum also have a high suicide risk, according to medical research and proven psychology articles. Which is why as someone with Asperger syndrome I find myself wondering if I will continue to suffer from depression and have thoughts of suicide for the rest of my life.
There was this group of ASD and Asperger Syndrome adults who had either contemplated suicide or considered doing so after being diagnosed at a clinic, because they ended up suffering from depression. I also heard about one autistic man who eventually committed suicide. I don't want to end up amongst those people - even though I won't be able to break free from my severe depression.
The average life expenctancy of people with Asperger's is 54. The main cause of early death is suicide. The incidence of suicide is, so I've read, 9 times higher for autistic people without a learning disability than for the rest of the population.
I live in a constant state of depression - low-level for the most part, but always there. I take comfort from the thought that suicide is always there as an option for me. That's not a 'normal' or particularly rational thing to say. I have a young colleague who survived cancer and is living with the thought that the likelihood is high that it will come back at some stage in the future. She soaks up every moment of life... and tells me that I should do the same. It feels churlish to disagree with her. But the circumstances otherwise are entirely different. She has a partner, a wonderful family, loads of friends - in short, a lot to live for. I sometimes wonder what I still have to live for, apart from simply getting older and probably having some age-related disease come upon me. I'm already showing early signs of arthritis in some of my finger and toe joints. I drink too much, but it's a comfort. It's the one thing, really, that gives me some release.
I attended a workshop the other week on 'Autism and Mental Health', run by my local authority. It was good to see a lot of autistic people turning out and telling the panel how they felt, what they needed, etc. At one point, the terminology shifted from 'mental health' to 'mental illness'. I pointed out the qualitative differences between them. I asked, too, for some clarification on how they reached their definitions. I said that I function relatively 'normally'. I hold down a job. I keep a home. I pay my bills and meet all my responsibilities. On the surface, there's little to indicate that I have any problems. But then I pointed out that the idea of suicide is ever-present in my mind, and that I find my daily life increasingly exhausting. But I carry on with it. What does that make me? Depressed? Mentally ill? I couldn't get a clear answer on that one.
I haven't attempted suicide since my diagnosis, because it gave me more of a sense of personal validation and vindication. But before it, I made several attempts. I was lucky to survive two of them.
I carry on with the thought that I can never know if life can get better unless I give it the chance to get better.
"The average life expenctancy of people with Asperger's is 54. The main cause of early death is suicide."
The above is true at least for that group studied at the Karolinska. I would like to see some replication studies in other countries.https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-british-journal-of-psychiatry/article/premature-mortality-in-autism-spectrum-disorder/4C9260DB64DFC29AF945D32D1C15E8F2There's the abstract - it's very frightening.David N. Andrews M. Ed., C. P. S. E.- psychologist (teaching, learning & development)- psycho-educational consultant- autistic adult