Can psychosis ever be part of autism?

I kind of what some answers to this once and for all. I was diagnosed with Asperger's at very nearly 16 (I'm now 21) having struggled all my life with anxiety and depression, had an eating disorder etc (all the classic Aspie girl stuff). About two years later, I had a mental health crisis. With hindsight, it was a result of issues I'd always had, but my moods and behaviour became more and more erratic over several months - I felt like death; I remember lying in dark rooms in excruciating mental pain, carefully planning how I would kill myself, sitting awake all night staring at walls with glazed eyes, hiding in cupboards at school unable to lift my head but then running around a few hours later, buying £100 worth of cakes and giggling and hallucinating diamonds on the pavement. Long story short, I ended up collapsed on the floor in the middle of town having run away from school, bleeding, screaming, I'd written the word 'liar' all over myself in marker pen, I was hearing voices, believing people were out to kill me, and I ended up having to be restrained and put in a police car; I was then taken home, and for some reason neither I or my family understand I was not offered any more intensive treatment (despite the police arranging a mental health act assessment: it either never happened or I don't remember it! I do remember a really horrible man coming round from the primary care mental health service the following day and utterly victim-blaming me, saying it was 'about choices' and all I needed to do was 'make an effort', and telling me I was having delusional thoughts in a very accusing tone which is not what you're meant to do when someone is having a psychotic episode). My GP just gave my parents a packet of Valium and told them to give it to me every four hours, including throughout the night, with the anti-psychotics I had already been prescribed by a private psychiatrist I was seeing, and told them to 'keep me safe and let nature take its course', so essentially my parents, who had jobs and my two younger sisters to look after, had to become psychiatric nurses in their own home. The worst thing for me was the effect this had on my family, and that the social services called a couple of days later to see if my sisters were safe from their out-of-control sister, when I would never lay a finger on my little sisters whether I was in crisis or not; I was the one in danger and I didn't see an NHS mental health professional for a month after seeing the vile primary care guy. But that's life I suppose.

About four years on, I've had other problems, including an overnight admission to A&E due to self-harm and suicidal behaviour (worst night of my life and I've had quite a few bad nights; I can't even think of it without getting upset) while they called the psychiatric hospital to discuss admission (the hospital said no as they didn't think being on a ward would help me long-term; they told the general hospital where I was to keep me in so I was safe overnight and that they'd reassess in a few days; luckily my situation calmed down and I was just referred back to the CMHT). I've had many other so-called paranoid and delusional thoughts, and I've had crises that only people close to me know about, like when I went through a phase of trying to scar my face (even professionals didn't know about that until afterwards. I did actually end up scarring my face: I've got a little scar on my cheek you can see when I haven't got make-up on, but luckily most of the facial cuts healed without leaving any marks). However, I'm doing pretty well right now: I'm a published poet and short fiction writer - I'm passionate about my writing and I'm told I'm good at it; I'm getting a poetry pamphlet (which is like a small collection of poems) published by a small poetry press soon - I'm managing to lose weight healthily (I've been quite significantly overweight due to binge-eating which the meds haven't helped with) and I'm keeping fit, exercising every day, I'm reading lots and I'm starting at uni next month having been desperate to go for a long time. Most importantly, I have some amazing friends (I've had some cr*ppy ones too, but I'm OK with that as they've taught me some good lessons). I'm now on 550mg of quetiapine (which is a moderate-to-high dose) and I hate how groggy and yucky it makes me feel - it's like waking up every day with a hangover! - but it does help; I don't know where I'd be without it. As well as the Asperger's, I am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and I identify very strongly with this diagnosis - I have no issue with it, and it has got me support from secondary mental health services including DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) which I've found extremely helpful without them needing to adapt it for autism or anything - but I get a lot of people from the autism community saying, 'That's often a misdiagnosis, particularly with girls and women on the spectrum, they'll have got it wrong, you don't have BPD, you have autism and that's that.' However, my parents and mental health professionals I've worked with think I definitely have additional mental difficulties, and that psychosis is never a part of autism; if an autistic person becomes psychotic it means they've got comorbid mental health problems. I guess I was wondering if you guys knew anything about this? I've been so confused for so long and I know I shouldn't base too much importance on 'labels' as it were, but it gets to me - I can't help it. I just want to be able to understand my mind!

Thanks for reading. Slight smile

Parents
  • I'm not sure about me having Borderline Personality Disorder, but - at times - I wish I could do what the Joker did in the 2019 film and go on a rampage against society.

    I'm Bipolar/Schizoaffective - officially diagnosed with Schizophrenia. I never lost the plot in ways listed above - but I did have meltdowns whenever I was failing in Video Games against my mates at Uni. They thought that I was going to jump into the River Bann at one stage. I have NEVER told this to anyone before- though I will raise this with my Key Worker tomorrow morning.

Reply
  • I'm not sure about me having Borderline Personality Disorder, but - at times - I wish I could do what the Joker did in the 2019 film and go on a rampage against society.

    I'm Bipolar/Schizoaffective - officially diagnosed with Schizophrenia. I never lost the plot in ways listed above - but I did have meltdowns whenever I was failing in Video Games against my mates at Uni. They thought that I was going to jump into the River Bann at one stage. I have NEVER told this to anyone before- though I will raise this with my Key Worker tomorrow morning.

Children
  • I'm sure we ALL have wanted to become Dr Evil at some point! 

    MY dad, who I know know with the benefit of hindsight was Autistic as f*** did manage to get himself a Schizophrenia diagnosis when he was young, but except when experimenting with drugs, I've not really experienced much in the way of psychosis myself.

    I suspect that high functioning Autists can get themselves misdiagnosed very easily, and end up owning a condition that they do not actually have, but some professional expert after a five minute consultation decides you do have.

    I'm lucky enough to have a small part of me that monitors my well being and stays "together" even when I am extremely distraught, or for that matter (when I was young) "tripping balls", and except on the rarest occasions, (like when I woke up this morning at 06:00 hours full of beans and had to go and watch some T.V. before I could resume my beauty sleep) I can always steer myself into a quiet place and fall asleep. It's been literally a life saver.  

    The way to stick it to the people who like stick it to the likes of us, is to either:

    1. Get away from such people as soon as possible, and if you REALLY cannot, then use your resourcefulness and ability to "think outside of the box" to destroy them, without any mercy or delay.

    2. Be better than they are in every single way possible. It riles them and makes them want to stick it to you more, of course, but then after a while you usually come out on top, has been my experience.   

    I choose number 2 as often as possible, but sometimes you just have to do what needs to be done. And my word, people do beg for a bit of trauma sometimes..