Published on 12, July, 2020
Like everyone else, I have gone through life having to overcome certain fears, some rational, some not so. However; recently a certain fear has been developing to a point I think it might be verging on unhealthy and irrational.
For some unknown reason, I developed a phobia of losing my house, more specifically, it falling down. I have researched subsidence and heave to the point I probably know more about it than a structural engineer! It started with me becoming obsessed with small hairline cracks due to natural movement, which lead to be looking into the foundations of the house, the type of soil it is built on and common problems with properties of a certain age. This has developed to the point I know every single visible crack on the outside and inside my property and I monitor them regularly on a daily basis. I appreciate this is irrational and that I am probably obsessing over nothing, but I now have to inspect the cracks daily and have an internal sense of dread that seems to be getting worse as if I am waiting for some catastrophic to happen to my house.
My home is the only place I can truly relax, so to have my sacred place become a place of dread is a big deal for me. I am becoming more anxious and agitated and I regularly have dreams of my house falling down or disappearing down a sinkhole. This is a fear that is now becoming constant and beyond my ability to control and manage.
I have been through the motions of tackling it logically and assessing the probability of these fears happening, and although they are very unlikely, the fact that they could be likely at all is enough to drive it in my mind.
I'm not sure what to do now to try and manage things better. Counselling, psychotherapy and CBT are out of the question as the services near to me don't cater for people with ASD.
Has anyone else had phobias suddenly manifest like this? There is obviously a root cause, I just can't get to it at present.
Hi Starbuck. This is OCD. The only way to get over this particular obsessive theme is to not inspect the cracks everyday, don't mentally review the knowledge you have about houses and likelihood about structural integrity of your building and essentially try not to 'figure it out'. These are all compulsions whether overt (physically checking) or covert (mentally reviewing and analysing, also known as 'rumination') and will only make the OCD obsession/worry/fear about your house get worse, more detailed and more entrenched. You have to just let the question go unanswered. No more googling or researching soil subsistence or architectural materials because this reassurance just will morph into more details for your fear to annoy you with. You will feel worse because the question will feel impending and you will get symptoms of anxiety and a pressure to do the compulsion but you HAVE to resist. Over time, your mind will stop sending you error and panic signals - in other words, your obsession will fade away. The OCD UK forum is a godsend for helping sufferers through stuff like this: https://www.ocduk.org/support-forums
The root cause of your phobia is a maladaptive coping strategy for ASD that your brain has had practice using over the years of your life. It is referred to as a standalone illness named OCD but less well known is that OCD is an ASD spectrum disorder, just like tourettes is or ADHD for example.
Thanks for confirming. I have been forcing myself to resist the urge to check my house thoroughly and I have been coping better with it unless I am very stressed. Overall though I think I am getting better and I am becoming aware of pother OCDs that become stronger when under pressure, adapting to change or just generally stressed and overwhelmed. I shall have a look at the forums as any help is a Godsend at the moment.