Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I am not certain that this is the best section for this but I have a few questions and would be really appreciative if someone could help? I am 20 years old and have recently been assessed for autism and I am awaiting their decision.
Sometimes I can become really angry really quickly. I feel as though I lose control and want to hit something and want to scream. I can cry, lie on the floor, curl up and become very very frustrated. They have been worse recently. When they happen I hate it and I feel guilty after but at the time I am so wrapped up in what is happening and really feel like I can't come out of it. I know this behaviour is unacceptable. So my questions are:
Thank you so much for reading my questions, I really hope that someone can help enlighten me.
Thank you :)
Well everybody can manifest unhealthy-behaviours and experience psychological-distress, it is just the case that autistic-people are more-likely to experience this, as a result of their impairments and behaviours and long-suffering..
A few good-pointers that I recycle time after time on here is: You reassure yourself that it will pass and allow others to reassure you, distract yourself with your special-interests, not exposure yourself to social-interactions, not to trigger relapse by feeling that you need to explain the situation to someone else, seek a safe-place and company to see your attack through to its inevitable conclusion.
I hopes this helps.. So.. what if any special-interests do you have..?
Anger often comes from a frustrated sense of entitlement or a sense of injustice.
Try reframing the situation. "It" is not personal. "it" happens - deal with it.
Remember Hanlon's Razor - never ascribe to malice that which can be reasonably attributed to stupidity. The idiot clerk is not picking on you .. they are an idiot. They can't help being idiots any more than you can help being autistic. Be nice. Idiots will drag you down to their level then beat you with experience. Don't retaliate ... escalate. Almost everyone has a boss.
When dealing with a bureaucrat. make it clear that the consequences of not doing [whatever] will be far worse than the temporary gain in not doing it.
Some things are urgent. Some things are important. Very few things are both important and urgent.
Recognise the physiological signs of anger and frustration, and relax. Take slow breaths. Relax.
Smile. I don't mean grin like a Cheshire Ape, just a little smile. It will make you feel better.
By all means find a suitable, safe, inanimate object which you can pummel, preferably somewhere private.
Send that snotty email to yourself. Read it a few hours later and edit it before you send it to the "target" ... you may feel different after you have calmed down.
Try not to catrastophise. Be realistic. Will the world really come to an end if you don't [whatever] ... probably not. Don't sweat the petty things (and don't pet the sweaty things, but that's another story.)
Read "Games People Play " by Eric Berne. Learn to recognise the games. Practice giving and receiving "strokes" - they matter to neurotypicals. Spend time in apparently pointless conversation.