There are times when I hate being amongst other fellow human beings; in fact I find it really unsettling because it is only a painful reminder of just how cruel the world is towards autistics and Aspies. I can't be around anybody of any age in any type of environment because of the frustration of being mentally disabled with a low mental age and the people in my life such my family members being very cruel towards me about that, when I should be given the chance to just be a young adult and learn from other young adults.
I wish I could just be on another planet with only other autistic 'aliens' as I don't belong on this planet. Does anybody else feel this way?
Only when I compare myself against others. It’s not only autistic people who people are cruel towards. Primarily they are cruel to themselves. If we hurt another, we hurt ourselves first. It’s impossible not to. For example, if I hit somebody because I hated them, the harm is within me. The other person can recover from any physical or emotional damage I may have caused them but before I hit them, I had to be having bad thoughts about them. Where are these bad thoughts? They’re in me and they’re hurting me and only me. If I don’t deal with them, I do what most other people do, I share them with others. I make others feel bad in any way I can. Also, if we see cruelty in another, we have to know, that it’s in us also. It is not possible to recognise it in another if we too don’t hold that within us, and we do all hold it. We are all capable and often guilty of all the so called bad things in the world.
I don’t enjoy being around most people, and that’s a good thing because due to my autism, I don’t tolerate being around others for anything more than short periods of time. So in effect, they’re doing me a favour because if they were all so great to be around, I’d have a hard time because I would want to be around them but couldn’t be, because of my preference for solitude.
You can be on any planet you want, afterall, this so called ‘normal’ life isn’t based on reality and shared laws etc, it’s built on an illusion or deliusion (I never get those two words right), so any planet you create in your mind is equally as valid and as real as the ‘norm’ way of life. To be part of the ‘norm’ is to live under the hypnotic state of the race consciousness which is a big fabrication. For example, it convinces people that they need pharmaceutical medications and so called food which isn’t food at all, just ingredients and chemicals thrown together to taste delicious to the dumbed down taste buds. It convinces people that doctors are gods and that the tv is entertainment and relaxation and it controls people to the point that they think it’s perfectly normal and ok to go and kill another man, all in the name of peace!!! It’s a crazy mixed up world but it works, for them, the people who are pulling the strings. If you want to make it work for you, go ahead, it’s not difficult, you simply have only to be miserable, do as your told, don’t use your mind in anyway whatsoever, make money etc your god, so you will work like a dog just so you can have some living accommodation that looks reasonably enough like everybody else’s, wear similar kinds of clothes and footwear etc, it’s not hard to ‘fit in’ but the question is, do you want to and why?