Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
I'm looking for some advice here. I've got a friend who I've known for ages. Probably over 15 years or more. He's a bit older then me (47). He comes from a family where both his brother and nephew have both been diagnosed as being autistic or at least are on the AS. His situation is complicated by the fact that he also has severe epilepsy.
He used to hold down a full time job but was made redundant a while back and hasn't worked since. He used to be quite outgoing and you could have a conversation with him but now he seems really withdrawn and often doesn't go out of his house for days on end. He lives in a high rise block in Coventry. He often can't verbalise what his needs are. He recently ran out of tablets to control his epilepsy for 5 days and wasn't able to explain this to anyone. His sister is his main carer. She's under a lot of stress trying to look after him. His Dad died in an accident a few years ago and his mum is not in the best health either.
He is fixated on certain subjects such as astronomy and finds it hard to make eye contact and sometimes doesn't really seem to take in what you are trying to tell him, although this could be partly due to his medication for epilepsy. He's got issues with hygiene too. but he's my mate and I feel that I ought to be doing something to help him but I'm not sure what.
He doesn't have a diagnosis and when his sister has tried to broach the possibility that he might be autistic, my friend doesn't really take it on board. What I'd like to know if getting a diagnosis might actually unlock opportunities for my friend. He doesn't have any social life and seems just to go out of his house to check his bank balance and spend time in Ikea where you can get free coffee in the cafe.
Does anyone else think that a diagnosis might help him? I know it will cost money but if we thought that a diagnosis might help we could look at how to fund this....
Thanks in advance!
Suppose my not seeing much value in a diagnosis is a bit tainted by experience at work where it would not have help the slightest, they would just have called the reasons for sacking me different, and the fact that with counsellors it made no difference either (except for the one I got a couple of sessions with a while after and because of that diagnosis). If it makes no difference to tell a counsellor or doctor that this is a possibility to keep in mind then I think it would also not make any difference to have a diagnosis because if doesn't work and they were able to modify their approach then they would probably do that whether it's been confirmed or not, at least try and see if that works better. But many seem rather inflexible, even though this is considered a sign of autism... But it's true, some doctors, counsellors and other people that may be helpful could well be different, and hopefully it wouldn't require a diagnosis for them to give it a try.