Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
i recently had a formal diagnosis of autism (RAAD-R 189/240) having suspected for a while and having self assessed with the ASD-50 (37/50), Aspie Quiz: high functioning autism, and the Empathy Quotient (13). I'm a professional engineer running my own small business, although struggling to find sufficient work due to industrial down turn, and I have also recently re-married. Surprisingly enough, I don't know what to do with the diagnosis or what to think about it or how to cope with it. I know I'm not coping well with things in general and need help, but don't know what help or sort of help that I need or where to turn for it. I know that I can't be the only person to find myself in this position or feel like this, so I'm reaching out to hear and learn from other peoples experiences. So how did you cope and what did you do?
Thanks
Andy
Hi Andy, with regards to how to cope with the diagnosis, for me it was just an issue of time. I was upset the day I discovered I had autism, and it felt overwhelming whenever I thought about it for a good few months. I had to wait 18 months between my initial meeting and my formal assessment, and my feelings about autism got better slowly through that time. Even by the end of that 18 months I still felt anxious when I thought about it. Once I got my official diagnosis, I felt relieved and it's been much easier to accept since then - I was out of that horrible limbo of waiting. I don't know what your timeline is. I'm much more accepting of it now, so remember your feelings about it will change over time, you just need to get used to it.
Hopefully your new partner can help you cope with things - one of the perks of having someone close! My wife is very supportive and "gets" autism so I have it easy - she helps me with the things I struggle with. The place you got your diagnosis from should also be able to help you with some post-diagnosis support, so get in touch and see what they suggest. As well as this forum, you probably have local autism charities you can get in touch with, and your Council probably has something set up if you call the Adult Social Services department - say you've been diagnosed with autism and you want to find out what support is offered.
Hope this is of some practical use.
Thanks. My time line is that I was assessed nine days ago, so everything is new and fresh as to protect myself I wouldn't asmit the diagnosis until it was formally confirmed.
My new wife I think is in a sort of denial stage and "this doesn't change you or anything" stage, which is frustrating as I want to be able to relax a bit and not have to try so damn hard all the time.