That Friday Brain Feeling

Hi Daniel,

I am struggling to balance the work/recover balance at the moment.  I have a demanding office job, both creative and analytical (which I love!), but the office is growing, there are more people to interact with, meetings involve more people, take longer to complete and as you said, often people in these meetings don't think the same as me, so it becomes tiring explaining things.  At present, I find my evenings too exhausted to do anything and then at the weekends I just want to sleep or slob around on the sofa.  Everything is overwhelming and too much to tackle.  Sensory issues are on a high as well.

I love my job, but I also crave some personal life where I am not spending it spaced out and drained.  If anyone has any coping strategies or tips on how to minimise 'That Friday brain feeling' as Daniel put it, I m more than happy to listen and try suggestions.

It's great you enjoy your job. Are there any ways you can make adjustments to make it less over stimulating? For example screening off your desk or having your own office so that you just interact when necessary or is the shared office all part of the job? Making sure you take 30 minutes time out somewhere quiet if you get a lunch break. Trying to give yourself small interaction free periods throughout the day. Probably difficult if it's intensive. Can you start earlier or finish later to get some office time to yourself.. Can you do any of it as work from home.. Being unable to change your work environment puts all the emphasis on finding ways at home. In my last job part of it was office based. I was fine when my colleague and I had an office to share but when we were moved I wasn't. We were moved into a multipurpose room with a lot going on and I couldn't cope. 

Hi Daniel - no I don't have children.

Hi Misfit61 - My boss is starting to understand 'my ways' as he puts it.  He's good and understanding most of the time, but I think he struggles to see how badly it can affect me.  The office is open plan, so I can't have a dedicated office, but I can use a meeting room if it is free.  Trouble is they rarely are!  I try and ensure I get my lunch breaks so to take some time out and I get there a bit earlier in the morning, just to prepare myself for the day ahead and sometimes stop later if I need the quiet time in the office to get stuff done.  Otherwise, I have stopped working the extra hours and aim to finish on time and don't work after hours at home anymore. 

I think something is going to have to give and I might have to ask about working from home a couple of days here and there.  The fatigue is getting much worse to the point I am literally doing nothing.  It took all my effort to get out of bed today to go to the shops.  The result was spending the evening in bed completely exhausted.  I have seen my GP and had blood tests etc which have all come back normally, so physiologically I seem healthy and well, but I just feel like all the life is sapped out of me.

Daniel - Does this sound similar to how you feel?

Starbuck, I would put in a complaint about the OH person. Find out what her professional qualifications are and complain to her registering body about her working outside her scope of practice to second guess a diagnosis.

Not all are like that. My best friend has ADHD mixed subtype diagnosed and a large dose of Asperger's undiagnosed. His OH team have been terrific and ripped a chunk out of his line manager and HR in his organisation for trying to start capability after they removed his original reasonable adjustments.

Hi Starbuck,

It sounds like your boss is very good, which is a great thing! As for the occupational health worker, it sounds like she is not up to date on all the laws regarding this sort of thing. This is from the NAS on employee rights:

The meaning of ‘disability’

The Equality Act 2010 describes a disabled person as someone who has:

“a physical or mental impairment which has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on his or her ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities.”

Mental impairments include autism and most autistic people are likely to fit this description, but you do not have to have a diagnosis to be considered a disabled person.  

"If you live in England Scotland or Wales and decide to tell your employer about your diagnosis, you are protected by the Equality Act 2010. The Equality Act requires public bodies to promote equality of opportunity for disabled people, and there is a whole section of the Equality Act on employment.

Being protected by the Equality Act means you should be treated equally and fairly in the workplace, and should not be discriminated against on the grounds of your disability". It also means that your employer should make reasonable adjustments to help you at work.

http://www.autism.org.uk/about/adult-life/work.aspx#what-the-law-says

I think its probably a good idea to provide the letter confirming diagnosis to them. I have a report which I keep private, and about 10 copies of the short letter I keep in case people ned to know, one of which now sits in my medical file at work in case I need to do something that requires it to be taken into account.

Try and stay positive! Its hard but worth it!

Hi Starbuck,

Thanks for the concern. I had a rough time this week but its the weekend now. I also managed to speak to my GP, and was amazed at the change having an official diagnosis made. I have spent a lot of my life on medication, mainly used for treating depression / anxiety, which consisted of taking pills every day, sedating myself in an effort to prevent the anxiety / depression.

Having my diagnosis and undersnatding more about how anxiety stems from my ASD has made me look at things differently. My Dr asked me 'in an ideal world how would you solve your problems'. I said I would prefer to have some sort of anxiety relief that could be taken when needed only, a bit like an inhaler when someone with Asthma needs relief.

After a long chat and looking over all my records he suggested some medication that is taken only when needed, either during moments of anxiety, or before I enter a situation that could provoke it. I picked up my perscription yesterday, and hopefully its going to help! Already, having a coping strategy in my pocket has given me a psycological boost, as I know if I need it I have it covered!

If you want more details let me know and I can message you, I dont think I shoudl put medication details on a public feed.

I definately think my diagnosis helped me with the GP though, as i have never been asked how I would deal with things, but instead just been treated in the same way sonce I was 16.

Thanks again for the kind words

Hi Elephant.

I have reached Saturday and just about managed to avoid more straws! I virtually hid away from the world this week. My children have been realy helpful as well, which has been a blessing! Once they are back at school I can do some work from home, which will be good, and in the meantime I am looking at avoiding unnesessary work related pressure, mainly by leaving my email set to busy, and fending calls for customer support to one of my colleagues.

Thank you for the concern! Its good to come back having made ot through to the weekend with some sanity left

Thanks Spotty Tortoise.  I haven't read it, but I will add it to my reading list.  I will mention it to HR as well.

The woman from Occupational Health was brought in from an external agency, so doesn't work for the company.  She explained that I didn't look or act autistic and then this is where it started to get more disrespectful.  She explained that autistic people have terrible social skills and even trying to get an answer out of them is infuriating and she has to work on limiting their inappropriate behaviour at times!

She then mentioned I was not considered disabled and wouldn't quality for disability equality as I was not severe enough and my boss had mentioned I was very good at my job, so I must be coping just fine.  In other words, it's up to the company if they want to make adjustments, but if it becomes too much like hard work, they can get rid of me and I don't have a leg to stand on.  This is why I am thankful my boss is understanding as I am clearly struggling and just need a bit of help and consideration in certain areas and at certain times.  I am not asking them to move heaven and earth for me.

The thing I found most baffling is that I seemed more like entertainment for the woman interviewing me as she said I have not met someone like you before, who is autistic and seems fine.  She also said she wanted to see my full diagnosis report, which I refused as it contains some very personal and sensitive information, but I dd say I can provide a letter from my GP confirming my diagnosis is valid and recognised as a professional diagnosis.

That said it all really...

..." what does a label of 'mild autism' say to a person? I know very many people who have been told that they 'must only be mild' - though based on what criteria I have no idea. Almost all (if not all) of the people I know who have been told their autism is 'mild' are severely affected every day - often ironically enough, as a direct result of being perceived as mild! This can have a serious impact on mental health. If you are told you are mild, and yet you struggle from day to day, this can give you the impression that you are somehow not managing life very well; after all, if you're only mild then you should be OK with just a bit of effort. If, in fact, you are not managing at all well, where does that leave you in terms of your self-esteem?  The label 'mild', in my opinion should never be used in relation to autism"

Dr Luke Beardon, chapter two, Autism and Asperger Syndrome in Adults.

I think this book is great, short and to the point, have you read it? There's a short chapter on Employment, maybe you could copy some of it and feed it to HR, or maybe even persuade someone in HR to read the whole book, it's an easy read and it's their job to understand their workforce; you won't be the only autistic person they ever encounter. They are obliged to make reasonable adjustment and it would help if they understood what they are dealing with.

I hope your new adjustment helps you to find more balance Starbuck. 

Well after my situation being reviewed by HR, it has been agreed to allow me to work from home one day a week for the next four weeks to see if that helps the situation.  I do have a formal diagnosis which is on my records, but occupational health didn't seem to think I was severe enough to warranty changes really.  There knowledge on autism was poor to say the least and slightly disrespectful at times!  

Daniel - I hope things get easier as it sounds like you are carrying a lot on your shoulders at the moment. 

Well after my situation being reviewed by HR, it has been agreed to allow me to work from home one day a week for the next four weeks to see if that helps the situation.  I do have a formal diagnosis which is on my records, but occupational health didn't seem to think I was severe enough to warranty changes really.  There knowledge on autism was poor to say the least and slightly disrespectful at times!  

Daniel - I hope things get easier as it sounds like you are carrying a lot on your shoulders at the moment. 

Starbuck, I would put in a complaint about the OH person. Find out what her professional qualifications are and complain to her registering body about her working outside her scope of practice to second guess a diagnosis.

Not all are like that. My best friend has ADHD mixed subtype diagnosed and a large dose of Asperger's undiagnosed. His OH team have been terrific and ripped a chunk out of his line manager and HR in his organisation for trying to start capability after they removed his original reasonable adjustments.

Hi Starbuck,

It sounds like your boss is very good, which is a great thing! As for the occupational health worker, it sounds like she is not up to date on all the laws regarding this sort of thing. This is from the NAS on employee rights:

The meaning of ‘disability’

The Equality Act 2010 describes a disabled person as someone who has:

“a physical or mental impairment which has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on his or her ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities.”

Mental impairments include autism and most autistic people are likely to fit this description, but you do not have to have a diagnosis to be considered a disabled person.  

"If you live in England Scotland or Wales and decide to tell your employer about your diagnosis, you are protected by the Equality Act 2010. The Equality Act requires public bodies to promote equality of opportunity for disabled people, and there is a whole section of the Equality Act on employment.

Being protected by the Equality Act means you should be treated equally and fairly in the workplace, and should not be discriminated against on the grounds of your disability". It also means that your employer should make reasonable adjustments to help you at work.

http://www.autism.org.uk/about/adult-life/work.aspx#what-the-law-says

I think its probably a good idea to provide the letter confirming diagnosis to them. I have a report which I keep private, and about 10 copies of the short letter I keep in case people ned to know, one of which now sits in my medical file at work in case I need to do something that requires it to be taken into account.

Try and stay positive! Its hard but worth it!

Hi Starbuck,

Thanks for the concern. I had a rough time this week but its the weekend now. I also managed to speak to my GP, and was amazed at the change having an official diagnosis made. I have spent a lot of my life on medication, mainly used for treating depression / anxiety, which consisted of taking pills every day, sedating myself in an effort to prevent the anxiety / depression.

Having my diagnosis and undersnatding more about how anxiety stems from my ASD has made me look at things differently. My Dr asked me 'in an ideal world how would you solve your problems'. I said I would prefer to have some sort of anxiety relief that could be taken when needed only, a bit like an inhaler when someone with Asthma needs relief.

After a long chat and looking over all my records he suggested some medication that is taken only when needed, either during moments of anxiety, or before I enter a situation that could provoke it. I picked up my perscription yesterday, and hopefully its going to help! Already, having a coping strategy in my pocket has given me a psycological boost, as I know if I need it I have it covered!

If you want more details let me know and I can message you, I dont think I shoudl put medication details on a public feed.

I definately think my diagnosis helped me with the GP though, as i have never been asked how I would deal with things, but instead just been treated in the same way sonce I was 16.

Thanks again for the kind words

Thanks Spotty Tortoise.  I haven't read it, but I will add it to my reading list.  I will mention it to HR as well.

The woman from Occupational Health was brought in from an external agency, so doesn't work for the company.  She explained that I didn't look or act autistic and then this is where it started to get more disrespectful.  She explained that autistic people have terrible social skills and even trying to get an answer out of them is infuriating and she has to work on limiting their inappropriate behaviour at times!

She then mentioned I was not considered disabled and wouldn't quality for disability equality as I was not severe enough and my boss had mentioned I was very good at my job, so I must be coping just fine.  In other words, it's up to the company if they want to make adjustments, but if it becomes too much like hard work, they can get rid of me and I don't have a leg to stand on.  This is why I am thankful my boss is understanding as I am clearly struggling and just need a bit of help and consideration in certain areas and at certain times.  I am not asking them to move heaven and earth for me.

The thing I found most baffling is that I seemed more like entertainment for the woman interviewing me as she said I have not met someone like you before, who is autistic and seems fine.  She also said she wanted to see my full diagnosis report, which I refused as it contains some very personal and sensitive information, but I dd say I can provide a letter from my GP confirming my diagnosis is valid and recognised as a professional diagnosis.

That said it all really...

..." what does a label of 'mild autism' say to a person? I know very many people who have been told that they 'must only be mild' - though based on what criteria I have no idea. Almost all (if not all) of the people I know who have been told their autism is 'mild' are severely affected every day - often ironically enough, as a direct result of being perceived as mild! This can have a serious impact on mental health. If you are told you are mild, and yet you struggle from day to day, this can give you the impression that you are somehow not managing life very well; after all, if you're only mild then you should be OK with just a bit of effort. If, in fact, you are not managing at all well, where does that leave you in terms of your self-esteem?  The label 'mild', in my opinion should never be used in relation to autism"

Dr Luke Beardon, chapter two, Autism and Asperger Syndrome in Adults.

I think this book is great, short and to the point, have you read it? There's a short chapter on Employment, maybe you could copy some of it and feed it to HR, or maybe even persuade someone in HR to read the whole book, it's an easy read and it's their job to understand their workforce; you won't be the only autistic person they ever encounter. They are obliged to make reasonable adjustment and it would help if they understood what they are dealing with.

I hope your new adjustment helps you to find more balance Starbuck.