What keeps you fighting?

My cat, I’m his favourite in the house of 5 and he’s always there for me, whenever I get stressed or my mental health declines he comes to me and snuggles up to me while purring as he is very soft and his purring is very calming, he can practically sense when I need him and he’ll come straight to me, I once had a book about how all cats have autism and the similarities between autistic humans and cats, me and him understand each other more than my family, even though we’re quite close, Salem is the main reason why I’m here today and I hope everyone can find someone or something that helps them like Salem has helped me.

do a REORG

its an army thing when u in disarray and the enemy has overrun your position

you shout REORG REORG

then you reorganise

make notes on your situation  ---- this is called the SITREP

then have a break and decide what youre going to do next

bear in mind the "Art of Doing Nothing" ( look it up ) which means u can just do nothing at all for a period of time but reread the SITREP again

see if that helps

I know you are multi-disabled so also cut yourself a bit of slack because i have always considered you to be a very gutsy person indeed and you are excelling and punching a way "over your weight"  put that in your SITREP 

I am sure u will be up to something again soon but come back in here if u are feeling down

There's a great online zoom course I did, Breaking Free from Self-Limiting Beliefs, it really helped me. I can send you the link if you want?

Sad to hear that

On anti d's on the highest dose possible for years. Tried therapy. Nothing seems to work. 

Would you consider talking to an online therapist or going on antidepressants?

Not really. Everything I thought I 'enjoyed' I always had to psyche myself up for to even bother. So I decided recently I'm not going to psych myself up anymore. 

Aw no :( is there nothing at all that makes you happy?

Nothing anymmore. 

I'm waiting for blissful death. 

What a powerful, thought-provoking question.

At this moment, I'm feeling sorry for myself as I've been rejected for another job that I felt perfectly matched for (no interview, no rejection, just silently moved to 'unsuccessful' on their website before the role has even closed). Every time this happens to me it is a punch in the gut, so I've been pondering this question a bit this morning. I'll sulk for an hour or so after something like this, and then I have dust myself off and carry on. If you asked me this morning, my answer would have been "because I have no other choice than to keep going, at least until the next disappointment."

If you ask me at other times, the answer would probably be - good music, good books and articles, being lucky enough to have my own little bit of space in the world, tasty food, spending time not doing very much at all with my girlfriend. These are not things we are conditioned to see as "reasons" so much as the downtime between more worthy ventures, but the typical ideas of worthiness (a good job, a lot of money, friends) can often be hollow to us on the autistic spectrum, and even if not exactly hollow, often unattainable also. I don't know if it's our curse or our gift.

So I'm licking my wounds right now. Listening to some John Lennon solo material, wondering what I'm going to have for lunch and dinner, appreciating the fact that today has been quiet work-wise so far, and typing out my thoughts to those who probably understand me best. Maybe it's not so bad?

Good one, I like that

Pure spite, at this point, haha

Not sure i find it harder to kill myself than to keep on living but i have tried committing suicide a few times so maybe it's just not my time.

Self acceptance, meditation, love, animals, & art.

Lol...but at least you tried

The one and only time I've been forced to do karaoke at a Millenium party (quadruple hell) the OH and I attempted losing my religion. Apart from the chorus it's a bloody difficult song to sing and I can't sing anyway. Ha, had torgotten that.

Same here.....

losing my religion - R.E.M. - nuff said

suzanne - Leonard Cohen - nuff said

I do that too

Good... will check out his music another day found a glimpse and sounds interesting 

It meant revisiting my sobbing teenage self and realising that nothing has changed. But now I think it might eventually.