Help! Are there any women in this Community with ASD

Hello, I too am very new here but feel it's been a long time coming. I am self diagnosed hf asd and inattentive adhd from what I have read. I have an appointment with the mental health nurse (after seeing her last October) to discuss wether I meet the criteria for a referral but everything I've read on the subject since October and difficulties that my teenage son is experiencing (failing at mainstream school) have made me want to fight for a diagnosis. Just wanted to say I'm here! 

Hi and welcome

At the moment I am also self diagnosed....so good luck with your appointment. Do you think it is better to seek referral or not? It is a shame that it seems to have to be a fight!!! My husband has told me to stop reading about the subject as he feels it makes things worse... but I am just hoping for answers and strategies to move forward....

hooe you have a good support network...

goid to to hear from you

Hi Nas, I have thought long and hard about a referral, if it wasn't for the fact that I have 2 sons I probably wouldn't bother but I feel like my teenage sons problems have been misinterpreted as mental health problems, behavioural, etc. He has just had an education plan done and some of the things the ed psych says just make perfect sense that he is like me. He can't or doesn't even want to see it or discuss it, but he's had problems throughout his childhood. My husband isn't very supportive. I moved to a new area a year ago, got married, lived as a family for the first time in 5 years and everything has got so much harder. At first it felt like mental health, but I knew I wasn't depressed, I have ups and downs and anxiety, it was also thought it could be the menopause, but I've struggled throughout my life and now I'm beginning to understand.

Thank you Spotty...you are on the survivors list as well xx miss you both loads when at work x 

Thanks both of of you. Night xx

Chicken soup has been proven to aid recovery last time I looked, honest, can't remember why. Wish I could magic you some. Well done on another week survived Ellie. xx

Good, look after yourself, ok x 

Oh good! Will look tomorrow. Yes I will try to have some soup or something tomorrow x

i have started a new thread btw if that helps with the scrolling....toast for breakfast and that chicken soup if you can ok tomorrow x  

Takes some doing doesn't it! Just keep being yourself and take time out if you need to. Maybe your diagnosis is a help as it not only explains things to you but to your son as well. I like the sound of Spottys soup. Anyway well done another week of term down and weekend commences. 

Positive vibes to you too! You are so talented and I hav3 a huge respect for you x glad your parking the gardening...so does that mean earning pennies with your art? Xx 

Hi Missy...managed to find you eventually. I didn’t realise that you were so poorly at the moment...all my love to you... surprised you hadn’t had children either...as you are my mother hen and keeper here! I have my son who is 13 but with my recent diagnosis...I feel that I am hampering more than helping at the moment...I need to dig deep and out if my comfort zone x 

And I'd like to have a go with glass and potters wheel. 

I quite fancy basket making too but not a group near me. Have you seen the craft programme on tv .. there have been some interesting ideas on it. Craft: I made this on demand 4. 

Unlike me not to eat.. sure it won't do me any harm not to. I'm drinking plenty of water. I think I've had the full range of thoughts ( including yours) on children, vso, foster, adopt, etc  part of me is thankful I don't have the extra worry.  being able to care for them properly came first and I don't think there was ever a time when I felt I could. Plus it will sound totally weird but I was always torn between thoughts of a life growing inside me being both wonderfully special and abhorrent which is quite a confession.

Im impressed / interested by your  range of craft skills. I borrowed a spinning wheel for a while and enjoyed it. I went to the local spinners weavers and dyers group but they were all so much more skilled than me. I have been to a couple of wool events which I enjoyed as like you said there is an instant connection. I started an Snb group but I found being in a group difficult and definitely couldn't stitch at the same time so dropped out but have thought about trying again but like you and your art the impetus to knit or crochet isn't there at the moment. Plus I have stacks of fabric waiting for me to sew. It's one of the things I've thought about retrying. I like the idea of upholstery but health and safety might be an issue with the tools! Sorry to hear you have damaged your wrist.. all that hammering strumming and pruning you've been doing. Seems as though it's helped the realisation you don't want to do the garden anymore. An alternative income source might appear soon instead. 

Oh no Missy, no food since Tuesday? Surely that won't help you feel better, chicken soup is supposed to help recovery, wish I could bring you some, sounds like you've got something horrible on top of everything else

I think the lack of interest/ research into the older ND population will come back to bite society but probably not in time to help  us!  It is sad to read that you are regretful about not having children, since I was a kid I've always said I would never have children and there was only a brief period of around a year that I kind of thought I might like to but I'm glad that passed.  Think I've got really cynical because when people go on about kids being cute and special etc. I always think 'well, they're just going to turn into more people and you/society aren't/isn't very interested in the people you've already got!'

I cancelled my gardening this morning because I've hurt my wrist somehow and I've realised that I really don't want to do it any more though the tiny income does give me a little autonomy.  If you ever get a chance I thoroughly recommend joining any kind of craft group, quite a few people have come and gone through the upholstery class as I've been going for two and a half years odd.  There have been one or two that I found challenging because they were a bit pushy but  most of them are really sweet in all different ways, it was the same when I learned dyeing and spinning and weaving, people that like to make things are generally good people.  It is a really good way to un-isolate yourself too, as you are doing something so there's no pressure to make conversation, you can join in or not as suits, it does exhaust me but in a happy way.

I really hope you feel better sooner than Monday Misfit, sending some positive energy your way. ()()xx

Me too. Just spent 5mins trying to find you! No wonder we started a new post. I just read there is very little research on 40+  ND's...and in asd there is no separate study of male or female.. lots of scope for new research! I started puberty early, had difficulties from then right through to menopause. What makes me saddest of  all is that I went through all that but no reward of my own children or grandchildren but though there are many families with asd etc My way of dealing with that is perhaps that wasn't meant for me and so a relief I'm not a bad mother and know rearing a family is far from easy but I know I have missed out. But maybe just as well. 

Morning Spotty. How's your day? Im glad the upholstery group was ok and accepting and that you decided to go. I like the sound of your stool. My mum went to upholstery class once upon a time. She had her tools in a cupboard jar of tacks and hammer etc. I'm a bit better but still in bed (not eaten since Tuesday)with whatever it is. Just quietly shutting everything out for now. I'm sure I'll feel much better by Monday. 

Hello and welcome to the bus.  None of us know where it is going but we've got on it and it is moving... I don't write things down anymore so my timeline gets a bit hazy but I know that I was 46 because I can still hear my head saying "I'm 46 and this is the middle of the menopause", I think anything to do with menstruation was always quite abstract to me, like something that happened to someone else.  I'm increasingly convinced that the hormonal changes are what has triggered my collapse from being able to behave and think of myself as 'normal' to being much more my true self and largely unable to cope with people and life.

Like Misfit though I strongly suspect that I have ADHD as well and maybe that is more affected by hormones, who knows and is anyone interested in researching it to help us?  I really feel for you with 11 years of hot flushes, I had a horrible time with those but they are mainly gone now though my temperature regulation is altered and I do still get them sometimes but I think it is stress related too now.  I hate it, I was someone who was always cold, never took their coat off, always wore a load of layers of clothing, buried myself under the duvet etc. now I have to wear clothes that can easily be unlayered and sleep under the thinnest, meanest duvet because I'll suddenly be much too hot for no reason.  Did I say they'd gone away?  Think I'm kidding myself, ho hum, it's like there's this whole pile of problems that ASD suddenly explains, which like you say is both a relief and a nightmare and then your body decides to conspire against you too.

Happy Friday and I hope you can find your way around this confusing place.  Maybe you could give yourself a name in your profile, top right of your screen?  I find the numbers terribly confusing.

Hello and welcome to the bus.  None of us know where it is going but we've got on it and it is moving... I don't write things down anymore so my timeline gets a bit hazy but I know that I was 46 because I can still hear my head saying "I'm 46 and this is the middle of the menopause", I think anything to do with menstruation was always quite abstract to me, like something that happened to someone else.  I'm increasingly convinced that the hormonal changes are what has triggered my collapse from being able to behave and think of myself as 'normal' to being much more my true self and largely unable to cope with people and life.

Like Misfit though I strongly suspect that I have ADHD as well and maybe that is more affected by hormones, who knows and is anyone interested in researching it to help us?  I really feel for you with 11 years of hot flushes, I had a horrible time with those but they are mainly gone now though my temperature regulation is altered and I do still get them sometimes but I think it is stress related too now.  I hate it, I was someone who was always cold, never took their coat off, always wore a load of layers of clothing, buried myself under the duvet etc. now I have to wear clothes that can easily be unlayered and sleep under the thinnest, meanest duvet because I'll suddenly be much too hot for no reason.  Did I say they'd gone away?  Think I'm kidding myself, ho hum, it's like there's this whole pile of problems that ASD suddenly explains, which like you say is both a relief and a nightmare and then your body decides to conspire against you too.

Happy Friday and I hope you can find your way around this confusing place.  Maybe you could give yourself a name in your profile, top right of your screen?  I find the numbers terribly confusing.

Thank you Spotty...you are on the survivors list as well xx miss you both loads when at work x 

Thanks both of of you. Night xx

Chicken soup has been proven to aid recovery last time I looked, honest, can't remember why. Wish I could magic you some. Well done on another week survived Ellie. xx

Good, look after yourself, ok x 

Oh good! Will look tomorrow. Yes I will try to have some soup or something tomorrow x

i have started a new thread btw if that helps with the scrolling....toast for breakfast and that chicken soup if you can ok tomorrow x  

Takes some doing doesn't it! Just keep being yourself and take time out if you need to. Maybe your diagnosis is a help as it not only explains things to you but to your son as well. I like the sound of Spottys soup. Anyway well done another week of term down and weekend commences. 

Positive vibes to you too! You are so talented and I hav3 a huge respect for you x glad your parking the gardening...so does that mean earning pennies with your art? Xx 

Hi Missy...managed to find you eventually. I didn’t realise that you were so poorly at the moment...all my love to you... surprised you hadn’t had children either...as you are my mother hen and keeper here! I have my son who is 13 but with my recent diagnosis...I feel that I am hampering more than helping at the moment...I need to dig deep and out if my comfort zone x 

And I'd like to have a go with glass and potters wheel. 

I quite fancy basket making too but not a group near me. Have you seen the craft programme on tv .. there have been some interesting ideas on it. Craft: I made this on demand 4. 

Unlike me not to eat.. sure it won't do me any harm not to. I'm drinking plenty of water. I think I've had the full range of thoughts ( including yours) on children, vso, foster, adopt, etc  part of me is thankful I don't have the extra worry.  being able to care for them properly came first and I don't think there was ever a time when I felt I could. Plus it will sound totally weird but I was always torn between thoughts of a life growing inside me being both wonderfully special and abhorrent which is quite a confession.

Im impressed / interested by your  range of craft skills. I borrowed a spinning wheel for a while and enjoyed it. I went to the local spinners weavers and dyers group but they were all so much more skilled than me. I have been to a couple of wool events which I enjoyed as like you said there is an instant connection. I started an Snb group but I found being in a group difficult and definitely couldn't stitch at the same time so dropped out but have thought about trying again but like you and your art the impetus to knit or crochet isn't there at the moment. Plus I have stacks of fabric waiting for me to sew. It's one of the things I've thought about retrying. I like the idea of upholstery but health and safety might be an issue with the tools! Sorry to hear you have damaged your wrist.. all that hammering strumming and pruning you've been doing. Seems as though it's helped the realisation you don't want to do the garden anymore. An alternative income source might appear soon instead. 

Oh no Missy, no food since Tuesday? Surely that won't help you feel better, chicken soup is supposed to help recovery, wish I could bring you some, sounds like you've got something horrible on top of everything else

I think the lack of interest/ research into the older ND population will come back to bite society but probably not in time to help  us!  It is sad to read that you are regretful about not having children, since I was a kid I've always said I would never have children and there was only a brief period of around a year that I kind of thought I might like to but I'm glad that passed.  Think I've got really cynical because when people go on about kids being cute and special etc. I always think 'well, they're just going to turn into more people and you/society aren't/isn't very interested in the people you've already got!'

I cancelled my gardening this morning because I've hurt my wrist somehow and I've realised that I really don't want to do it any more though the tiny income does give me a little autonomy.  If you ever get a chance I thoroughly recommend joining any kind of craft group, quite a few people have come and gone through the upholstery class as I've been going for two and a half years odd.  There have been one or two that I found challenging because they were a bit pushy but  most of them are really sweet in all different ways, it was the same when I learned dyeing and spinning and weaving, people that like to make things are generally good people.  It is a really good way to un-isolate yourself too, as you are doing something so there's no pressure to make conversation, you can join in or not as suits, it does exhaust me but in a happy way.

I really hope you feel better sooner than Monday Misfit, sending some positive energy your way. ()()xx

Me too. Just spent 5mins trying to find you! No wonder we started a new post. I just read there is very little research on 40+  ND's...and in asd there is no separate study of male or female.. lots of scope for new research! I started puberty early, had difficulties from then right through to menopause. What makes me saddest of  all is that I went through all that but no reward of my own children or grandchildren but though there are many families with asd etc My way of dealing with that is perhaps that wasn't meant for me and so a relief I'm not a bad mother and know rearing a family is far from easy but I know I have missed out. But maybe just as well. 

Morning Spotty. How's your day? Im glad the upholstery group was ok and accepting and that you decided to go. I like the sound of your stool. My mum went to upholstery class once upon a time. She had her tools in a cupboard jar of tacks and hammer etc. I'm a bit better but still in bed (not eaten since Tuesday)with whatever it is. Just quietly shutting everything out for now. I'm sure I'll feel much better by Monday.