Noise issues causing serious issues

Thanks for all your replies.

Tom your experiences definitely resonate a lot. I work in London and I'm fine when it's busy and noisy generally but then someone talking on their phone or listening to music on a train really gets to me. I think some of it is genuinely people being inconsiderate but my reactions in some cases are probably a lot more extreme than just getting angry. With the last incident my wife nearly called the police as she was scared for our kids safety because of how angry I was. I don't believe I would have done anything to hurt my kids but as I don't remember a lot of it it's hard to express what was going through my mind at the time. 

Edit: I've had a hearing test which came back normal and also seen a hearing therapist who explained about auditory filters and how mine probably open fully a lot more which results in everything becoming overwhelming very quickly which helped a lot understanding that (and one of my things is having to know how things work).

I've done a lot of online tests and score highly for aspergers in all of them. And a lot of the questions about things ring true. My issues with diagnosis lie with being labelled as having a disability of sorts, and how that would impact my life, for example would I have to declare it on my driving licence, at work etc? But I also see the positive of possibly being able to get help and support. 

I'll see how the psych assessment goes next week and take things from there.

Arghhh, thought I don't have such issues really, maybe a bit with high-pitched noises others can't even hear, but not generally. Now my new officemate snuffles all day long. No cold, no allergy, no nothing, just what she does with her nose... Snuffling - seems way too cute a word to describe that noise. I want to take a pillow and stuff it in her face! Sorry, not contributing much here, just needed a bit of a rant... 

Hi Cornflake, my experience of sensory issues is with dyspraxia/DCD but the two books I found hugely useful were "too loud too bright too fast too tight" and "the out of synch child" the latter has great information in sensory programmes and my noise issues are ramped down by using methods to stimulate my proprioception.

Also my lovely partner (ADHD, likely ASD) doesn't blink at my using silicon ear plugs in public spaces.He has light sensitivity so wears sunglasses most of the time so we are a pair

Hi,

Thanks for starting thiis thread, interesting reading; I have an asperger's diagnosis and can relate a lot to what you have said. Particularly the part about where you feel the problem is with other people, not yourself.

I have noise problems at work, I don't mind a bit of noise, but it just gets too much. Open plan office, and there are approx about a third of the workers, when they speak I think they are employing "broadcast mode" as everyone in the office can hear their conversation. Sometimes you get these very odd silences, where they immediately switch to the opposite, whispering the conversation.

One of these worker's also talks loud about his thinking process to no one, but all the office can hear, makes it difficult to concentrate on your work. Noise cancelling headphones are an option. I did buy pair, they were very expensive (Bose), but I returned them after reading reports that the connections can break internally from the use of them being folded and unfolded (only applies in past couple of years).

In shops, similar things if its too noisy really stresses me out. The odd time now and then I will talk loud to myself sometimes answering the conversations of the loud people. 

Random

Thecornflake said:

Hi,

I'm 38 and following chatting to a friend recently diagnosed with high functioning autism and doing a lot of research I'm reasonably sure I have aspergers. I'm in two minds about actually seeking a diagnosis but that's probably another discussion altogether.

One big issue I've had for a number of years is bad reaction to noise caused by other people, although in specific circumstances. The usual thing is if I perceive it as someone being unreasonable (linking to the known issues with people 'not playing by the rules') so even if it's not very loud it can cause problems. This has led to quite violent reactions and sometimes I don't always remember the entire episode, I'm guessing it's effectively a meltdown but I experience extreme anger towards the source of the noise. A classic example would be neighbours playing loud music, even if it's a few doors down the road having a bbq at 3pm on a Sunday afternoon.

I'm due to be seeing a psychiatrist soon to have an assessment related to these specific issues (so not specifically for anything asd although I have mentioned I think I may be on the spectrum).

I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced similar issues and if so if they found a way to cope. I've had brief sessions of cbt over the phone before but it didn't help. It was all based around me being the issue not the people being noisy and the problem is because I believe it's the other people being unreasonable so it went agianst what I believe.

Hello Thecornflake,

Firstly, there are many other factors that could point to the possibility of Asperger's - but I'm sure you've looked into that.

Regarding noise sensitivity, I too have a problem.  A reasonable level of background ambient noise is okay - passing traffic, etc.  But when it becomes intrusive, it becomes unbearable.  If I'm on a bus or train and someone is speaking loudly into their phone, I have to move.  Same if someone is listening to music with headphones, but it's still audible.  Other people may huff and puff, but say nothing.  With me, it leads to fury unless I get away from the source.

If I'm in a supermarket, I'm generally okay.  Until, again, you get people shouting into phones, or shouting at kids.  It makes me feel like being in an Eastenders episode!

I think that people, generally, have become either much noisier - or less caring about the impact their noise has on others.  There are 'Noisy Neighbour' forums on the internet, and you'll find loads and loads of posts from people with the same problem.  I once lived in a flat on our seafront.  It was a lovely flat - but it was 18 months of hell for me.  Boy racers screeching around and honking horns sometimes as late as 3 am.  A pub next door that had regular live music nights.  A pizza take-away downstairs with staff who'd stand out on the pavement late at night talking to one another, slamming car doors, etc.  Neighbours downstairs - in their 50s, so perhaps old enough to know better - who had balcony parties every weekend in the summer... using not a normal stereo, but amplifiers.  And another bunch of young guys downstairs who had regular Friday night rave-ups.  When I spoke to these people about it, I inevitably got responses along the lines of 'Well... it's the weekend, ain't it.  Move somewhere else', or 'If you don't like it, complain to the council.'  I did this several times.  I was told to diarise things for a week.  I did.  I was then told they'd install noise monitoring equipment.  They did.  They decided the noise levels were acceptable!

I was on ESA at the time, so found it difficult to move.  When I did finally find somewhere else, I was so traumatised by my experience that I lived in one room for weeks - scared to go into rooms above the downstairs tenant in case I could hear him.  It took a long while to get over that.

So... I don't think what you're talking about necessarily points to anything other than simply other people's thoughtlessness.  However, I could be wrong, and only you know the true levels of what is tolerable for you.  Have you spoken to other neighbours to see if they're similarly affected?

Back to the diagnosis thing... if you do think you might be autistic (have you tried the online preliminary screening test?) and decide to go down the diagnostic route, it can take a while.  Over 2 years for me, from initial screening to diagnosis. 

Diagnosis, as others will tell you, can give you mixed feelings.  Overwhelmingly though, for me, it has been positive.  Now I know I'm not an oddball, over-sensitive, anxious, obsessive control freak.  I have a condition that's recognised.  And as such, I can get help for it, and expect to have reasonable adjustments made (such as in the workplace) to accommodate me.

Hope this has been of some help to you.

Best regards,

Tom