Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone, I am new here!
Im desperately in need of advice from those with experience of autism. I will try and sum the situation up as best I can.
I met my boyfriend a year ago, he was wonderful and quirky and we fell head over heels for each other. From the beginning I knew he was different and suspected he had a form of autism a few months into our relationship. When I would speak to him about it he would deny it and become quite defensive. As time went on, I found some challenges. He was difficult to communicate with, could never see my view on things was jealous and domimant. He said and did things which were socially inappropriate, and my family found him very rude and arrogant. He would make me upset all the time (and for someone who has never cried in front of people before) this was a very different kind of relationship to be in.
Depsite being very much in love with him, I decided to end things with him 4 months ago as I was fed up of the way he treated me, and felt he was very unfair to me.
He took the news very badly and for the following 12 hours I received nasty phone calls and text messages, which was then followed by the start of his mental breakdown! He loves me very much and the thought of not being with me basically sent him crazy. His behaviour has been truly irrational and like a child. I can't even begin to describe to you his behaviour over these last few months. There is no getting through to him, you can't talk to him properly, he doesn't listen, he just argues and BEGS me to take him back. He whails and cries down the phone at me and has emotionally blackmailed me into taking him back.
I have tried to have no contact with him, but it just makes him worse. A month ago he told me he wants to kill himself as he doesn't want a life without me. I quickly spoke to his family and he is now going to see a counsellor. But now I have to deal with him being suicidal! It's been very stressful and he doesn't see what this is doing to me.
I've done a lot of research into aspergers recently, and I am 100% sure he has this. But after my long winded story, can I ask those of you with experience of aspergers, how much of this is down to his aspergers or is his behaviour just irrational.
Any thoughts? I would really love to hear people's opinions.
Hi there.....I happen to actually have Aspergers. Eventually there IS a point in your life you MUST do some shadow work on yourself regardless what's wrong with you or not. In this case it sounds like he DOESN'T want to change. People like us are shown we're easily replaced and don't mean *** to NOBODY. Let alone in a relationship. I didn't become the man I am now without holding back my pride and seeing that I DO have some toxicity that must go in order to receive the love I always wanted and KNOW I deserve. We still need (Myself personally) reassurance at least once or twice every couple months and see our significant other at least once a week but we try our best. I'm sure you DIDN'T do ANYTHING to make him jealous if you did I'd understand his anger. But it sounds to me he's got personal issues that need healing. The only way you would be able to make it work with him would be HIS realization to change. I hope this helped in some way even just a small way is good for me. My own realization is what changed me....take care friend.