Workplace bullying

NAS18906 said:

Leaders (as opposed to managers) will engage with people who make suggestions. Managers (control freaks) won't cope with this at all.

Never a truer word was said.

Be careful Trainspotter! You may let your current lack of optimism cloud your judgement. If your manager accused you of having dementia then that is as straightforward case of bullying as I could imagine. The union should really be able to make a case of that.

It sounds as though you and your manager are not compatible and the union may be able to help you move to a different area. That may be the best solution - it could avoid the high stakes confrontation that otherwise looks inevitable. Some managers will take severe umbrage to a subordinate telling them that there is a better way of doing things - it is their job to manage and it is your job (up to a point!) to do as you are told! Leaders (as opposed to managers) will engage with people who make suggestions. Managers (control freaks) won't cope with this at all.

There are many issues around my being bullied  work.  But yes, I know the manager wants me to 'toe the line' and do things her way which is chaotic and stressful.  Unfortunately I can no more 'toe the line' and put all the criticisms behind me and work in her chaotic way than I could grow another arm if my hands were full. Problem is, my belief that  her way is wrong is very strongly embedded, and that combined with everything else is a firework awaiting the lighting of the blue touch paper - well probably more like a full blown display with plenty of bangs and flashes. 

I was Tuped over from the NHS last year to another organsiation (part of commissioning process) and I think that is as far as I can say about who I work for within the policies of the employer. For the NHS I worked in a data management capacity but was Tuped over to a totally different job, in Admin, despite me raising my concerns as to how I would react to this.  My manager is not interested in hearing my opinion of how the job could be done more efficiently even though I have a very workable idea of improving the work rate and accuracy, she said she couldn't give a damn (but using a word a bit stronger than that).

I feel I have been demoted at a time of life where many have attained their pinnacle.  I am totally demotivated and wonder what I am there for as my skills are not being utilised.  When told to do a task I was not given enough time to check my work afterwards (constant interruptions made me lose track of what I was doing and I was off on holiday for a week later that same day) and then when a small easily corrected mistake was picked up on my return, the manager made her remark about me having dementia which was affecting my performance!  I have been off with anxiety and depression caused by workplace stress ever since.

Yes I am in a Union and they have been helpful but unfortunately the policies for dealing with grievances are always loaded towards the employer.  I have to approach the team bully and ask her to desist as a first step.  I turn into a gibbering idiot even at the thought of that.  And taking this further, there is some sort of 'pseudo court' (my interpretation) where there is an opportunity to explain what has happened under cross examination.  In such situations, I have trouble communicating viva voce and my mind goes absolutely blank - if you were to ask me what two and two added up to I would be hesitant (which is interpreted as being untrustworthy by those in management). 

Basically I feel the whole system sets me up to fail!  And then I think that they think I blame anyone but myself for the problems,  which is their way of supporting their managers who are rarely criticised for their behaviour.  The real problem is foresight and insight, or lack of it by management, rather like the old proverb 'For want of a nail a shoe was lost' with all its repercussions.

Yes, you are right, rbs, but one can only advise on the proper channels of resolving problems. If further action was considered on Trainspotter's part at least he could say he took his issues through such channels, without success. It's difficult to know about the specifics of this case because we are not directly involved.

There is nothing wrong in trying to work within the system as long as other people are prepared to meet you halfway. There is no excuse for bullying under any circumstances. Any problem should be approached by having discussions involving all parties, otherwise things are left to fester and that's when explosions can happen. It's never a good idea to continually sweep things under the carpet - that's just poor management and it's probably not a bad idea to highlight poor managers for future reference.

Human Resources departments are more often at the beck and call of the management. They will enforce management requests according to the law - I think of them as enforcers rather than as friends. Some HR people are really good at their job and they will work to do the best for individuals because that is a good route to having a productive company.

Some unions are good - they can be really useful in protecting the welfare of the staff they represent - others are hell bent on the downfall of capitalism. Groupthink is an important concept to understand with unions.

There is another aspect to this - and this isn't a defence of bullying! I am aware that my behaviour can sometimes be very irritating to other people - I think differently, I don't always do what I am told, I am rebellious. Some managers can deal with this and actually cherish people who think outside the box. Other managers will react to this by turning into Control Freaks who aren't able to cope with people doing things in their own way. Since my diagnosis, I have become much more self-aware and have managed to avoid confrontation by trying harder to work with the system rather than to kick against it all of the time.

I know the unions went too far during the '70's but now the pendulum has moved too much the other way where the very word 'union' is liable to cause consternation and horror to some. I don't know whether you have union representation available where you work, Trainspotter (it doesn't sound like it), but if you have I would strongly suggest you look into it. It might be possible to join a union that is appropiate to your kind of work even if there is no local representation, otherwise you will have to try to deal with things on your own and it may be that your company will close ranks and back each other up if you do, I really can't say from where I am.

What kind of Human Resources department do you have? Can they be approached about your problems? You have a right to approach the appropiate people who are supposed to manage personnel issues, after all.

Some campanies have special resources to deal with workplace bullying so are you sure there is nothing like that where you work?

Could they move you to another section? Sometimes you have to kick up a fuss, otherwise you just get ignored and I know this isn't easy for people like us but in life it's sometimes necessary.

I have had bad experiences at work, I think most people with autism have a rough ride in the workplace. Bullying is common but it can be dealt with in some cases. In other cases it may be best to just leave the job - I have recently given up on a job because it just wasn't working out and there was no realistic prospect of it getting fixed. There is little point in struggling in a job if it is actually making you ill. Look after yourself!

People can only walk all over you if you are lying down! This doesn't mean that you stand and fight but you can learn to let some of the words wash over you - I remeber being told about "sticks and stones..." when I was little. As adults we are better able to ignore any insults. Another part of this strategy is to use pity. I pity the people that are weak enough to rely on this type of behaviour.

What sort of work do you do?