Any other gay guys out there? We always seem to have a slightly different take on things - usually more practical AND more entertaining - than our straight friends. What's the take on being gay and autistic?
In answer to your first question, there are undoubtedly gay guys "out there", as well as other LGBT+ people - I met some last Summer, and last month. I don't feel in a position to comment much on the latter part of your post, but the one example I can clear bring to mind is of a young autistic person who was raining to be a hairdresser. I have met quite a few other people through a previous work role, but it wouldn't be appropriate for me to highlight characteristics of these people. I just wanted to post to make it known that there are others, even if people are not choosing to post here about being gay.
There is an old post on the forum about someone setting up an LGBT/autism facebook group, though that wasn't functioning last year. My guess is that there will be other such facebook groups, if you weren't getting the level of response you're looking for on here. Also, Wrong Planet (mainly US based) has an LGBT section.
Welcome to the community.
Thanks Curious, it's nice to know I'm not the only one. And if you come across any other groups or sites that might be of interest I'd be grateful for the tip.
New LGBTQ group starting in Glasgow www.lgbthealth.org.uk/.../ . No idea if it's within reach for you, topskin, but might be of interest for others on the forum.
Is there a similar group in the Greater London area?
I'm a gay autistic... though I'd not be sure to claim I'm any more practical or entertaining than my heteronormative NT's or ND's.
But, having the (dis)advantage of a double outside perspective - being both outside of the hetero norm and the neurotypical norm - can admittedly give us a unique perspective.
Topskin11 said:usually more practical AND more entertaining - than our straight friends
I also do not agree that gays are usually more practical AND more entertaining - than the straight friends. It does not make much sense to me.
I'm not gay - but I think gays and Aspies have a lot in common. It's 'different' - and, as I'm sure you've probably found, even the most non-homophobic people can seem uncomfortable, or not quite sure how to react. Same with coming out as autistic. I've noticed that a few people who know me have behaved a little oddly since I told them of my diagnosis. A bit more distant, perhaps.
Steve Silberman, the author of 'Neurotribes', is gay. He draws a lot of parallels with the experiences.
I'm assuming Topskin11 was being humorous in saying we're more practical and entertaining.
As for the "take" on being gay and autistic... well, you're fabulous, but you just don't have the social skills to show it! ;-)
Having the experiences of being both 'gay' and 'autistic' I'd have to say that coming out 'gay' was way easier. I think hetero-ND's have more underlying concepts surrounding gayness... they expect you to be funny, more fashionable, or the cute gay best friend etc etc. The problem is that since Asperger's was only 'invented' circa 1994, the general populace just don't have the understanding, tools or language to engage with us yet. Things are changing admittedly, but compared to the 'gay' and 'transgendered' movements, the 'autism movement' has only just come out of the womb and isn't even crawling yet. I think it's why my experiences of coming out autistic have been overwhelmingly negative to date, which is why I now don't tell people.
And, there are certain stereotypical elements of the gay community that are actually harder for autistics... such as maintaining a wide superficial circle of friends, casual hook-up culture, and managing your social status etc. The gay community can be harsh and unforgiving of their own kind at times, so I'd advise any autistic to a) find a mentor / confidante / ally and b) to tread carefully.