Emotional neglect

I do agree. My father and mother are both on the spectrum. My mother has co-morbid BPD/C-PTSD and she actively pursued my father as a "rescuer" from her own abusive home. They got along extremely well due to them both being on the spectrum and both wnti g nothing to do with the outside world. Both had parents (my grandparents) that carried and coddled them. )

However my dad lacks empathy and is sexist, so when my sister and I reached Jr. High, my mother became misogynistic and reversed back to her trauma through dissociation and emotional abuse. She "split" my sister from me and my dad from both my sister and I. 

My dad being naive and trusting, always believed my mom (us against the world) and I became estranged from both of them as a result.I became "all bad" in my mother's eyes and she presented me as such my entire life. The reality is that my.mom was unfit for parenting due to autism and co-morbid BPD. She was "cracked glass" when she met my dad so motherhood was what shattered her in the end. 

My mom felt that she could live in a closed off "Utopia" of sorts where my dad "would provide" and all my mom had to do was stay at home and "raise the kids" and basically hide from the world. (I grew up on a cattle ranch miles from the next town.)that turned out to be false when she had to work to provide additional income to support 3 kids once my brother was born (again, my parents choice to reproduce) 

I resent my mom for doing this very selfish thing....using her autistic husband to live a coddled autistic female life.....

I'm on the spectrum too but more so PDD-NOS, than Asperger's (my mom) or further on the spectrum like my dad (pure autism) Because of this, I was right to socialize and went into speech and debate to better strengthen my social skills. 

I absolutely do NOT like being social most of the time, for I find it to be a drain, but "pass for neurotypical" so I balance my obligations with solitude, and personal creative pursuits...

I have great empathy for people, but feel as if I was emotionally neglected growing up and therefore I resent other manipulative spectrum folks who enter work environments wanting it to completely cater to their desire to hide from the social aspects of their job (which also include the basic expectations of actually speaking to their coworkers, ahem.....) So when I see what I call an "autistic weasel"....I don't bother to connect with them because I see a very selfish person, lacking empathy, who wants to just hide from responsibility and hopefully find a "cradle space" for their difficulty functioning and get paid in the process.

I find "autistic weasels" to be extremely difficult to work with because their whole focus is to try to get as much as they can from their job and provide none of the interaction or additional responsibilities that neurotypicals have to take on. Because I am accepted as "neurotypical"  and have a healthier perspective of what's "owed" to me as someone on the spectrum, I don't have anything to do with other autistics in the work-social space ...they drag me down and try to get me to be the "front of house" person so they can live a "back of house" lifestyle at work. 

I've stopped engaging in cultures that autistics gravitate towards like D&D and videogaming, simply because I get dragged down by those who want an income to support their reclusive lifestyle but do not want to put out the effort that neurotypicals have to in order to gain a decent income. I want functional friends without mental health issues that can engage and possess empathy.

Neurotypical carry stresses that autistics try their DAMNDEST to avoid. So I tend to side with the neurotypical in this argument....although I can understand why these people act the way they do (in theory)....

I do absolutely believe that I approach other autistics this way due to my own experiences with having an "autistic weasel" for a mother 

Because of this....I self segregate from the autism spectrum, pass as neurotypical and went to therapy for survivors of cluster B abuse so that I can move forward without the emotional difficulty of living an emotionally starved life.

So that's my experience. I wish I could show more support for higher functioning autistics and aspergeans, but it's the high functioning ones who I find to be the most manipulative of work/school environments,and befriending these people inadvertently forces me into a "caregiver" role and I can't live my life that way..  

Its very sad that the neurotypical mothers seem to be getting most of the attention for lamenting about this awkward connection....they too are extremely selfish in only wanting their voices heard and it's their disconnection to their children that has them acting this way....

But it takes effort on both sides to form connection....those who can't find a solution to that will end up living an emotionally empty life.

I wish it was different....

I do agree. My father and mother are both on the spectrum. My mother has co-morbid BPD/C-PTSD and she actively pursued my father as a "rescuer" from her own abusive home. They got along extremely well due to them both being on the spectrum and both wnti g nothing to do with the outside world. Both had parents (my grandparents) that carried and coddled them. )

However my dad lacks empathy and is sexist, so when my sister and I reached Jr. High, my mother became misogynistic and reversed back to her trauma through dissociation and emotional abuse. She "split" my sister from me and my dad from both my sister and I. 

My dad being naive and trusting, always believed my mom (us against the world) and I became estranged from both of them as a result.I became "all bad" in my mother's eyes and she presented me as such my entire life. The reality is that my.mom was unfit for parenting due to autism and co-morbid BPD. She was "cracked glass" when she met my dad so motherhood was what shattered her in the end. 

My mom felt that she could live in a closed off "Utopia" of sorts where my dad "would provide" and all my mom had to do was stay at home and "raise the kids" and basically hide from the world. (I grew up on a cattle ranch miles from the next town.)that turned out to be false when she had to work to provide additional income to support 3 kids once my brother was born (again, my parents choice to reproduce) 

I resent my mom for doing this very selfish thing....using her autistic husband to live a coddled autistic female life.....

I'm on the spectrum too but more so PDD-NOS, than Asperger's (my mom) or further on the spectrum like my dad (pure autism) Because of this, I was right to socialize and went into speech and debate to better strengthen my social skills. 

I absolutely do NOT like being social most of the time, for I find it to be a drain, but "pass for neurotypical" so I balance my obligations with solitude, and personal creative pursuits...

I have great empathy for people, but feel as if I was emotionally neglected growing up and therefore I resent other manipulative spectrum folks who enter work environments wanting it to completely cater to their desire to hide from the social aspects of their job (which also include the basic expectations of actually speaking to their coworkers, ahem.....) So when I see what I call an "autistic weasel"....I don't bother to connect with them because I see a very selfish person, lacking empathy, who wants to just hide from responsibility and hopefully find a "cradle space" for their difficulty functioning and get paid in the process.

I find "autistic weasels" to be extremely difficult to work with because their whole focus is to try to get as much as they can from their job and provide none of the interaction or additional responsibilities that neurotypicals have to take on. Because I am accepted as "neurotypical"  and have a healthier perspective of what's "owed" to me as someone on the spectrum, I don't have anything to do with other autistics in the work-social space ...they drag me down and try to get me to be the "front of house" person so they can live a "back of house" lifestyle at work. 

I've stopped engaging in cultures that autistics gravitate towards like D&D and videogaming, simply because I get dragged down by those who want an income to support their reclusive lifestyle but do not want to put out the effort that neurotypicals have to in order to gain a decent income. I want functional friends without mental health issues that can engage and possess empathy.

Neurotypical carry stresses that autistics try their DAMNDEST to avoid. So I tend to side with the neurotypical in this argument....although I can understand why these people act the way they do (in theory)....

I do absolutely believe that I approach other autistics this way due to my own experiences with having an "autistic weasel" for a mother 

Because of this....I self segregate from the autism spectrum, pass as neurotypical and went to therapy for survivors of cluster B abuse so that I can move forward without the emotional difficulty of living an emotionally starved life.

So that's my experience. I wish I could show more support for higher functioning autistics and aspergeans, but it's the high functioning ones who I find to be the most manipulative of work/school environments,and befriending these people inadvertently forces me into a "caregiver" role and I can't live my life that way..  

Its very sad that the neurotypical mothers seem to be getting most of the attention for lamenting about this awkward connection....they too are extremely selfish in only wanting their voices heard and it's their disconnection to their children that has them acting this way....

But it takes effort on both sides to form connection....those who can't find a solution to that will end up living an emotionally empty life.

I wish it was different....