Social Stories, SENCO, and my son

Hi there. It is hard to know where to begin. I an also new to the forum. Introductions: I am Amy, my Autistic son is 8, his diagnosis was Asperger Syndrome in 2013; he has 3 younger brothers. He functions fairly well in most situations-his strengths are his ability to talk tirelessly about a chosen subject; his imagination; his compassion for others; and his enthusiasm for gardening....there are many more but as his percieved weaknesses are the main source of problems in his life I have to start there.

socially, he can be fairly inept. Because he is quirky and shy, and does not always understand body language or facial expressions this often leads either to bullying from others or from him an inabilitt to let go of a grudge from someone who has wronged him. He has trust issues.

he also finds concentrating in class a big challenge and to cut a very long story short, when we moved house last year his problems worsened at the new school. although at home we rarely find he has behavioural problems, in school it is entirely different. He often will not settle to do his work, he spent the last 6 months at school barely learning anything despite his national average capabilities, and has mostly been disruptive and doing as he pleases. 

Part of the reasons for this I am sure are down to his sensory needs and partly down to the problem he has focussing in a classroom which is a common trait so I am told. 

Part of the behavioural issues alsp come from low self esteem because he often does not understand what is going on, and I feel that suddenly (in his head) he is expected to produce some work which has to be of a certain standard, and he has not heard/listened to all instructions on how to complete the task because of various distractions, cant work it out for himself because he is behind (by at a guess 1 year) and has too much pride/feels stupid asking for help, thus ends up protecting himself with a temper tantrum or storming off....he is under CAHMS for this too; but it is slow to start.

as we are about to begin a new year, and after countless problems with the Senco there, I am still worrying about it all. 

There are strict new guidelines for my sons expected behaviour at school, whilst I agree he is there to learn and that he cannot just wander about the corridors or outside, I also do not think they are doing things well-as he rarely behaved like this at his previous school. The behaviour plan informs parent and staff that he must do his work as is expected and allow the teachers to do theirs. If he goes outside when he feels he needs to calm himself them he must come back inside before a timed 10 minutes is up or I will be called to collect him. 

His choices are either to go to the library (he does not like this choice as he needs to be alone to calm down) or he can go to the "Fastrack Room" which is where every naughty kid goes to complete work or for time outs...with this stigma plus the fact that the Senco uses a saccharine sweet baby voice trying to talk him out of his mood is just something that exacerbates his anger. He does not like the senco and her use of a "baby voice" when she talks to him. He read his social story yesterday and not only found it patronising:- "if X chooses to do his work instead of going outside then X has made a good choice and everyone will be happy with X" or "X needs to do his work so he can learn. When X doesnt do his work this disappoints X Teacher. Xs Mum will also be disappointed. This is not a good choice" he says he finds them very babyish and that he obviously knows what he has to do but he still finds it too hard-then he went off on an angry tangent a little; he cant cope very well if another kid winds him up and they often do for fun-this is often a cause for anger in the classroom from my son; as well as the afore mentioned concentration problems.

he has a 1:1, although this year it is a new one but he says he knows her and that she is a mix of strict and nice. He has ELSA sessions which did him good at his old school but he doesnt seem too keen here.

i really worry for his education, I am not happy about him being sent home every time he "kicks off" as this is not helpful to anyone involved but the school. 

If you got this far-thanks for listening!! I could really use some helpful input.