Mr Angry!

I'm 46 and was diagnosed in May this year. I've gone through about 6 weeks of anger, grief, bereavement and I'm now at a stage of reflection and analysing my various life stages where I considered myself thick or stupid but instead it was the autism. I've thought about all of the criticism I've had from others about my social anxiety as well as a life time of self-criticism. I've been treated for depression and anxiety - neither of which worked. I've had CBT which was ridiculous. All the time I was not asked the right questions and therefore I didn't give the right clues to my mental state. 

In the end, I referred myself based on my own belief I may be on the spectrum. And here I am, starting to come to some acceptance of my life long condition. A few people know now. I'm coming out to people as and when I feel happy to. But I had my follow up appointment last week and was told there is no further support for me as an adult. It was a case of here's your diagnosis - right, off you go and deal with it. Luckily this forum and a few books has been of great help.

Hopefully, time will help your anger subside as it did with mine though I have a very short fuse anyway and it doesn't take much to lighten it. 

Regards, Lee

Hi Jordee I saw this post after catching up on another post I commented on,Saw it over on the right under "Related".

So written over two years ago but by far one of the most enlightening few posts I have read thus far! 

Classic Codger may I say a big thank you for your post, not even sure how to check if your still a visitor on here? I am in a strange self doubt place right now,I was doing really well and visiting this forum has been of such great insight to me, suddenly I got a shock from a person replying to one of my posts,it all sounded just like comments I have heard all my life.

You don't fit,why assume you belong here,it takes experts and many many hours to assess  somebody,you may have other issues that are similar to ASD. Not actual quotes but along those lines.they have some relavance as I only think I am ASD I have no formal diagnosis.

So anger (back on topic).

Ok deep breath and relax,yes I am angry but also very sad, After a lifetime of not fitting in I stumble upon autism thanks to my daughter posting me a link to some one being diagnosed at an older age,I read it and suddenly my whole life is there before me,all the strange little things I did as a child, the thought processes,the wondering what this strange planet was and when can I go back to my planet?.

Right now I am feeling sorry for myself,I am so angry as I thought I had found my kind of people, In a moment of self pity I do not belong in this club as I don't have a badge!

I am 54 and male, I do believe my life is now different and changing for the better since "assuming"I have Austistic traits.

I can so relate to a lot of what I read,hardly a night goes by without having read a post I get flashbacks of me as a child,the latest was actually a Facebook news feed about yet another child who had wandered off and found by water,

BANG WHOOSH my head is spinning my mind is here there and everywhere,memories of me standing by the pond or by the stream,things I have never given a thought come flooding into my mind,as a child I would be happiest on my own,I really liked water,fell in a pond and got pulled out by a young lad.was found shining a torch into a stream that was in storm level,dropped my torch and cried,nearly drowned trying to retrieve it.tried to melt the ice on a neighbors pond by burning news paper on it.always wondered off when on holiday by the beach,hated-fun fairs and noise,hated the whole concept of holiday,

Still angry,I tend to rant when angry hence by mixed ramblings,to much in my head,no real order,just so much to say,very nearly deleted the whole post as it is self obsessed and crying out for attention! But hang on this really is me,how I see stuff,how I feel,spent my whole life biting my tongue,patiently just watching and saying nothing but seething inside.

nite nite.

This forum is, as you have found, a goldmine of thoughts and insights about our condition.

Unfortunately, CC passed away a while ago - his wife posted the sad news. He can't hear you but he would have been glad to know that his words are still appreciated.

Anger was a phase I went through just before I got diagnosed. I was Victor Meldrew with a streak of very angry and bitter retaliation against the world. A friend gave me a book on anger management and it taught me that anger is pointless because it only hurts oneself. The only point of anger can be to motivate yourself to work out how to be less angry, how to be more at ease with the world, how to find explanations rather than excuses and blame.

You can come out the other side in one piece. Keep thinking about it. Keep noticing the triggers. Keep finding explanations and keep finding satisfaction in having explanations. I find that explanations for bad events gives me some satisfaction in working out the root causes of bad events and it makes me less angry because so much of ones life is explicable with some insight into ones nature. So much of life springs from that rather than any conspiracy or badness in other people. Other people are self-centred, thoughtless of others, irritating etc etc but those are words that describe us too so I struggle to maintain my anger when I find that I am surrounded by people who are more like me than I ever imagined before. We are different but we are also not so different as some might think!

This forum is, as you have found, a goldmine of thoughts and insights about our condition.

Unfortunately, CC passed away a while ago - his wife posted the sad news. He can't hear you but he would have been glad to know that his words are still appreciated.

Anger was a phase I went through just before I got diagnosed. I was Victor Meldrew with a streak of very angry and bitter retaliation against the world. A friend gave me a book on anger management and it taught me that anger is pointless because it only hurts oneself. The only point of anger can be to motivate yourself to work out how to be less angry, how to be more at ease with the world, how to find explanations rather than excuses and blame.

You can come out the other side in one piece. Keep thinking about it. Keep noticing the triggers. Keep finding explanations and keep finding satisfaction in having explanations. I find that explanations for bad events gives me some satisfaction in working out the root causes of bad events and it makes me less angry because so much of ones life is explicable with some insight into ones nature. So much of life springs from that rather than any conspiracy or badness in other people. Other people are self-centred, thoughtless of others, irritating etc etc but those are words that describe us too so I struggle to maintain my anger when I find that I am surrounded by people who are more like me than I ever imagined before. We are different but we are also not so different as some might think!