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Mr Angry!

xoanon
over 9 years ago

So, as of Tuesday it seems I don't have what I thought I had (chronic depression and severe social anxiety disorder) for however long. Instead I have Aspergers.

I understand that this will supposedly make a difference to things but I don't understand why. I know I need to 'adapt' to the idea that I have something different and it will take time. 

I'm no more or less vulnerable, struggling, stressed and numerous other things than I was Monday. I'm still indoors, on my own, daren't open curtains or windows and afraid of people as I was Monday.

Instead I just feel angry, more than angry even.
Angry that I can't find anything which helps me. I'm not a parent, don't have a carer, live alone and have no existing support. 99.9% of information I can find is for parents, relatives, carers, employers and everyone else just not the poor bugger who has had this dropped on him...
Very angry because I am now at sea. I have no idea what's going on, what I'm supposed to do, who I'm supposed to talk to or where I'm supposed to go for help. I think my life has just turned upside down.
Extremely angry that just having the label is probably going to make the difference between qualifying for help and being ignored. Why should I have gone through the past few years? It's disturbing that the label of 'Autism' or 'Aspergers' seems to act like a magic wand.**
Positively livid because I feel like I've lost between 5 and 15 years because nobody realised or understood enough to suggest what was really wrong.
Incandescent rage because when I spoke to my local council, the first thing they said after I mentioned Aspergers was that meant I needed the 'Learning Disability Team'. I can't speak for anyone else but, as a former croupier with a fairly high IQ (140+) I found it a huge insult. 
***please note this is my experience. Other people may have found it very different, which is really my point. It's not about your label, its about your circumstances.
For those who want to know, I'm 43 and had no inkling of this until it was mentioned by my GP a few weeks ago. It has been a bolt from the blue.
Parents
  • over 9 years ago

    hi Xoanon

    I think your diagnosis should help you to understand who and how you are better, but it can be a confusing and frustrating time.  

    My teenage daughter is waiting for results to see if she has a diagnosis, but the practitioner said that a diagnosis wouldn't make any difference as there is no support in our part of the country, and the only thing to do was for me to read and do internet research to look for ways to help her.  The practitioner said it isn't a mental health issue although my daughter does have periods of depression which are.

    So I am going to find out as much as I can myself to help her, so she can cope better.  I am reading the Tony Attwood book, and will read other books too, and am finding help on this web site.

    One thing I have found is that I have a lot of the traits too, but at my age I do not think I will get tested as it won't really make any difference to who I am.

    I think the people on the web site community have a lot of experience and really good ideas, and I really appreciate their comments.  

    Thank you all.

Reply
  • over 9 years ago

    hi Xoanon

    I think your diagnosis should help you to understand who and how you are better, but it can be a confusing and frustrating time.  

    My teenage daughter is waiting for results to see if she has a diagnosis, but the practitioner said that a diagnosis wouldn't make any difference as there is no support in our part of the country, and the only thing to do was for me to read and do internet research to look for ways to help her.  The practitioner said it isn't a mental health issue although my daughter does have periods of depression which are.

    So I am going to find out as much as I can myself to help her, so she can cope better.  I am reading the Tony Attwood book, and will read other books too, and am finding help on this web site.

    One thing I have found is that I have a lot of the traits too, but at my age I do not think I will get tested as it won't really make any difference to who I am.

    I think the people on the web site community have a lot of experience and really good ideas, and I really appreciate their comments.  

    Thank you all.

Children
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