Want to quit but should I?

Good advice from Sparklinsister. You won't do yourself any favours by trying to struggle along attempting to fit into a work world where they are abusing you. All that will happen is that you'll become increasingly drained untill you're in meltdown territory. I don't think that you can even see how you're being abused, or if you can, then like the rest of us you feel like a powerless pawn. Not good, and is making you worse all of the time.

You'll often get flack from Homo Sapiens because they simply cannot enter our world. They just end up using their ignorance at you - hence the name-calling, the harsh treatment, etc etc. Employers have, by law, to make reasonable adjustments to your work place (it sounds like a uniform made from bearable material would be a start!) so that you can function there as a Disabled person, they may not ignore your needs. But none of this is possible untill you have your diagnosis.

Meanwhile, in the real world, that's exactly what they'll do, and they'll get away with it because you have no diagnosis to face them with. You need your GP support to do what Sparklinsister says, so start there. And please, don't put yourself through more torture just because of other people's expectations of you. The most important thing for your wellbeing is to do what you need to do to keep the overloading inputs away, even if it means giving in and applying for benefits, which by the sound of it is what you need to do right now.

Your parents are wrong. 'Sticking it out' will do you massive harm. If they cannot, or worse, will not, accept your situation (because they don't want a 'disabled' child?) you'll have to accept that they aren't going to help, they're going to add to the problem, even though they're trying to do their best.

I know you don't want to fall out with them, but they really ought to be parents when you need them, and their job is to listen to, understand, and protect you - for instance, bombarding you with meaningless epithets like  'act your age' and 'stick it out' isn't the same as telling you (and enabling you!) to 'be who you are'. My own parents failed miserably in this regard, and since getting my diagnosis I understand why, and don't 'blame' them. I do feel sad about it though, they missed a prime opportunity to appreciate and enjoy having a special child. Feel free to show this thread to them if it will help. If they want to know who I think I am to comment, tell them I'm a fully diagnosed Aspie (and parent, and grandparent) who's been in your position and I know better than them, as do most people on here.

We are here to help and support each other, so you know you're with friends who understand you. Get that diagnosis!

Classic Codger is right hun. Either you are on the spectrum or your not. If you have a diagnosis then you can apply for the financial support. You can apply yourself for ESA. You just need to ring them up (or get someone to help you with it if you struggle with phones like me!) but you do have to have a note from your GP to say you're not fit for work because of your Asperger's Syndrome and Anxiety until the point where you're called for assessment. The process for PIP is started by phoning up about it as well. Have you got someone who can help you look into starting the application process for the benefits?? 

I've been there honey. I worked as a teaching assistant for 9 years - every day a struggle - because I thought I had no other option! I was exactly the same as you in terms of worrying about going to work when I wasn't there. When I was there I had frequent meltdowns and anxiety attacks - often locking myself in the toilets because I didn't know what else to do. You're definitely not alone in how you feel about your job!

If you have an Autism/Asperger's Syndrome diagnosis then you should be getting either disability living allowance or personal independence payments. If you're not getting either, then you need to apply for PIP.

Even if you don't have a diagnosis you should be able to get Emplyment support allowance. You need to get to your GP, explain all the difficulties you are having, explain how your employers are being - because it doesn't sound like they're being at all fair - and make your GP listen! Get an 'unfit for work' note and claim the ESA you deserve!

Good luck hun. Hope you get sorted x

Hi Mystmoon,

Sorry to hear you having a difficult time with your job. Many people on the autism spectrum find it difficult to find appropriate workplace environments. We have information on our website which could be of use to you.

Do keep positive and let us know how you progress and we'll try and help further if we can.

Take care,

Avi

mystmoon said:

Hey all,

I'm currently nearly a year out of university. After 6 months dealing with JSA bulls*** I finally found a job as a shop assistant in a local convienience store for 3 days a week. However, I've been there 4 months and the stress of the job has me feeling extremely depressed and wiped out.

I have to do a lot of social interaction on the till and with my co-workers, I have to do tasks extremely quickly and then get scolded when I don't complete on time due to my lack of experience and co-ordination issues. They have frequently refused to allow me holiday, and they are njot even sure if I can have the one pre-booked holiday I had before I started there. I also frequently have sensory issues as the uniform has materials that put me on edge and customers often smell or brush their hands against mine and I just want to jerk away violently whenever this happens and go wash!

It's got to the point where I'm struggling to sleep from worrying about having to go and feeling sick and crying in the breakroom. I feel so exhausted from this that I haven't been to properly function in my time off, anmd it's meant I haven't been able to do my hobbies to help me feel any better.

My parents have advised me to stick it out til I can find another job, but I've been so tired that I haven't really been able to apply for any in a decent manner. I hated the JSA, but I don't know if I hate this job more. Really don't know what to do! Help?

Hi sparklinsister985,

Thanks very much for sharing your insight on here. Please remember that we are an anonymous online community so we don't usually share personal details such as emails on here. You can refer to our Community Rules for more details.

Take care,

Avi

I don't know any reasonable diagnosis of 'borderline' - you either are or aren't on the spectrum. Do not accept the 'diagnosis' of a non-specialist - that's all GPs and most psychs.

In the meantime, I offer this. I spent many years simply failing to understand my thoughts and behaviour, or have any scale of 'normaility' against which to measure the level of severity of my condition. All I know is that everything was like being attacked with sandpaper - sound, touch, taste, smells, the usual total sensory overload.

Now, I didn't know what was 'normal' or what was 'abnormal' so I guess I assumed it was the same for everyone. This is the common experience of 'not feeling quite right' but having nothing to measure it against. The result was that I was early diagnosed with Bipolar, and they tried shoving all sorts of pills down my throat, none of which, OF COURSE, did me any good. I was considered to be 'uncooperative' and 'not trying to get better' for most of my adult, NT judgementalism impaired, life.

I 'functioned' in the way that you both describe, but could never sustain it so spent much of my life anxious and depressed, and with so much s**t running through my head that I didn't know which way to turn. I was also very very frightened to tell anyone because I was afraid (justifiably so as it turned out) of what might happen to me if I did.

However, my GP, God bless her, stuck with me and finally pressed psych services to see me again because she couldn't see Bipolar. Result (after a traumatic incident) was that I got my diagnosis - severe Asperger. Suddenly, my world has an applicable logic.

Whether or not you are ASD, your employment is covered by general law. I've said it before and I'll keep saying it - join a Union, they will advise you on the law and your rights, help and try to protect you.

I've spoken to my GP and am now waiting to hear if I can get funding to get help, am hoping that I can ask about ESA when I get to talk to someone through that but don't know if that's waiting a bit long? I'm considered quite a borderline case so not sure if I qualify for any of that sort of help :/