Bullying and autism

The subject of bullying crops up on this forum quite a lot. Most people's perception of bullying is something that happened in school. It usually involved bigger kids picking on younger kids, and the solution was always, if you toughened up, and stood up to the bullies, they would leave you alone.

This perception is accurate in one respect: bullies target those weaker than themselves. But they also target those who are not supported by an infrastructure - that is to say not supported by a group of friends able to stand up for them, or that if they bully a person who has protection of some kind, that's riskier. Victims of bullying usually don't have someone else to turn to - they aren't respected by others. No-one is going to intercede to stop the bullying.

In the context of autism, most of the NAS website seems to be about the conventional image of school bullying, and confined to the context of school.

But the weakness where autism is concerned is more likely to be about the disability itself - poor coordination, difficulty getting the meaning of conversation such as misunderstanding humour, and difficulty expressing things, difficulty mixing socially and appearing socially naive, being oversensitive or reacting adversely to everyday environments, sensory overload.

Added to which no-one seems to properly understand autism. Autism behaviours are perceived as self-inflicted disadvantage, wilful, attention seeking, or people on the spectrum are perceived as simpletons, retards etc. And because this is not readily identified as disability, often they aren't taken seriously, and therefore lack the supporting infrastructure - no back up to prevent bullying.

It surprises me how little understanding of bullying NAS seems to demonstrate, as bullying or disability hate crime is common to most disabilities. Well you might say no-one would steer a wheelchair user onto a flight of steps or push them into the path of an oncoming car, would they??  No-one would try to trip up a blind person, would they?

Blindness is probably the best illustration of the problem. Its a sensory issue, which applies less obviously to autism. If blind people get bullied, it is all the more probable that people with autism will get bullied.

Blind organisations and charities are fully aware of the extent of bullying, harrassment and hate crime against the blind. Why is there so little understanding of this in autism? Why isn't NAS pro-active on this? Why do we get the perennial response if you toughen up and think positively and stand up to them, the bullies will leave people on the autistic spectrum alone?

www.bbc.co.uk/.../uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-27323114  In May this year Siobhan Meade in Stevenage - a blind person assisted by a blind dog - people would deliberately steer her into lamp-posts to see how she reacted.

www.weday.com/.../

The above is one of many websites about Molly Burke, a North Carolina teenager who developed progressive blindness and therefore did not appear to fit the usual expectations. Schoolfriends took her into some woods, smashed up her sticks, mocked her and then left her.

A few streets away from me there's a blind man. Local kids put his wheelie bin in front of his front door, ring the bell, and watch him stumble out and collide with the bin. They put bottles and cans on his path, again to see him stumble. This keeps happening. No-one roundabout intervenes.

All the disability organisations and charities know about bullying and the disabled. That is except one - autism organisations. Why?

  • Someone once told me never to assume that because someone was old, they automatically deserve sympathy. If someone is dishonest at 30, 40 and fifty, they do not retire, just become a dishonest old person.

    This applies to bullying too. It does not stop at the school gate. People don't grow out ofit at 16/18. They carry on bullying throughout life. They bully partners, children, parents and those they work with. Some refine their tecnique throughout life, so it becomes more difficult to prove, more subtle.

    We have had an unfortunate attitude,in this country, that it is wrong to  "tell tales" , snitch, dob someone in, there are many words for it. We need a change of culture, to one of caring for the weaker elements of society. There is more to a caring society than handing out cash and building wheelchair ramps. These things cause resentment in cash strapped times. What we need is a little more of the "love thy neighbour" and more good samaritans. 

    Some schools are moving towards this approach, providing child mentors for children who are bullied. Some employers are moving to fully proffessional working environments, where staff are told on day one, what behaviour is acceptable and what is not. It can be done. A good team draws on the skills of all and creates an environment where all can flourish.

    We currently offer treatment to the bullied. But, we need to treat the bully. They are the ones who do not function correctly, they need to be extracted from the group, taught how to behave and then monitored.

  • The bullying that I have observed was not physical, rather continual unkindness. It occured among adults in the 30 to 60 age range.

    Referring to Irish people as bog trotters.

    A number of people jeering at an individual in meetings, and openly accusing them of sucking up to management, with very little grounds.

    Marks made on a door frame to work out how short a male colleague was.

    Everyone going to the pub at lunch time, leaving one person uninvited.

    Malicious, exagerated gossip, aimed continually at one person.

    Entering a room and leaving without speaking, slamming the door.

    Deliberately giving someone the wrong instructions, to get them into trouble.

    Planning and carrying out the plan, to refuse to speak to or answer questions to, someone giving training, who was not liked.

    Refusing to eat food brought in to an work party, when  it was agreed in advance.

    Critically discussing car accidents across the head of a person recently suffering a car accident.

    Reporting that a person has carried at an act of minor violence against a third party, when it had never happened.

    And back in my school days, we had a girl join us, who had lost both her parents, and one leg below the knee in a car accident. She was ostracised and accused of steeling, because she lived in a childrens home.  I have to admit, that I kept my head down, because I was not exactly popular myself. She left. 

    The standard management policy with bullying, seems to be get rid of the victim, which is probably the aim of the bullies, when they find they have someone in their midst who does not fit in.

    You are fortunate indeed if you have never either witnessed or suffered this sort of treatment.

    I have just remembered that someone told me recently, that they had their work critised in a meeting with a client, which they described as humiliating.

    This sort of behaviour is widespread, and by no means rare, and can cause great misery to the  person on the receiving end.

    People who complain and whistle blowers are not liked either by colleagues or management. If a manager says don't bully this person, then it stops, along with all other forms of communication and cooperation.

  • Can I ask in what context you witnessed bullying?

    Most people's perception of bullying is what they witnessed in school. School's create a little world of their own, where everyone is stuck in that world for the duration of school hours. So when bullying occurs it is often unavoidably in front of everybody, and creates simple divisions like helpless onlookers.

    In reality a lot of bullying goes on that is not witnessed. The bullying involves the disadvantaged who may lack social frameworks, who are easily isolated, and therefore more likely to be found where they are out of sight of others. Therefore there usually are few if any witnesses around.

    Where the bullying is racist, disablist or persecution of other minorities, the perpetrators don't want witnesses. The reasons it goes on is precisely because there are plentiful opportunities where the victims are alone.

    I know one individual with autism who has been beaten up a number of times in the same underpass by the same assailants. The underpass is his only route from where he lives to where he shops and accesses services. So either he doesn't go out or he risks a beating every now and then. His accommodation is a special care flat, as usual in a not-nice area, that the perpetrators target to pick on the disadvantaged - its not like he can move to a better area.

    Racism is illegal, but only if there are witnesses, and a case for prosecution. In fact any kind of harrassment or hate crime is illegal. 95% of racism isn't acted upon because it doesn't meet legal criteria, and the police still have issue with being completely non-racist.

    A lot goes on because there are no witnesses. It happens where there are no witnesses because the perpetrators know there are laws to prevent them engaging in hate crime (and they are cowards), and witnesses might get angry.

    There are lots of cases where families with autism have been severely persecuted. We only tend to hear about that one incident. Many people on the spectrum suffer appalling bullying and intimidation because people do not understand the condition and perceive it as mental illness, and are protesting at supposingly having mental cases dumped in their neighbourhoods.

    The tragedy is that organisations supporting people with autism are stuck in a little world where the only bullying they know about is school bullying, which really isn't a good guide to the scale of what goes on daily out of sight. Other disability groups do seem to be well informed and pro-active - autism isn't far sighted it seems.

  • I have watched bullying in action. One or two people actively seek to hurt an individual, who is for some reason, not liked. Many more people , on the perifery, join in a little by laughing, and yet more watch innactive from the sidelines. Most of them fear taking action to stop what is happening, because this may result in them being "put down" in some way. 

    What is needed, is to activate these people to turn on the bullies. 

    Racism is illegal. We have specific laws to tackle bullying against certain groups. It would be better to draft a law against bullying and repeal all the separate laws, such as those against racism, then all these acts of hatred would be viewed in the same way.

    I think the current piecemeal approach almost suggests that if there is no law against bullying a particular group, then it is less important, and fair sport for those who are bored or require a scapegoat.

    The particular bullyingincidence that apauled me, was the plight of a woman and her mentally handicapped daughter, who burned themselves to death in their car because no one would help put an end to the misery of continual bullying. 

  • I remember reading about that poor kid who ended up paralysed - it makes me so angry, words fail me. Yes, the inability of the police (and schools) to address bullying is inexcusable. IMO more focus should be on identifying and "outing" these bullying sociopaths and the dysfunctional families who taught them dysfunctional rules, rather than on the disability of their victims. They are the kids who should be in the PRU!

    I feel the same about rapists - it does not matter whether the victims are blind drunk, crawling naked in the street, in a wheelchair, or walking with a white cane - the problem is the rapist. 

  • The problem with bullying, harassment or hate crime against people on the spectrum is that it is less obvious that there is a disability. The media therefore is less likely to latch onto it and make a story. 

    Also many people perceive the person on the spectrum as "asking for it" - engaging in behaviours that draw attention to themselves and mark themselves out as targets. That they make more fuss than a bit of ribbing justifies. The public are much less likely to be aroused by a story of someone on the spectrum being bullied than someone who is blind.

    So how many of you have come across this story?

    www.dailymail.co.uk/.../Aspergers-sufferer-18-left-paralysed-breaking-spine-four-places-50ft-fall-trying-escape-gang-bullies.html

    I hope this link works. It happened in Pontypridd, Wales and was reported at the beginning of September. He was being bullied by a gang of younger boys who saw him as an easy target. Unfortunately he climbed onto the bridge superstructure to get away, and they pelted him with rocks till he lost his hold and fell fifty feet onto rocks below. Described as trusting and easily manipulated, the gang had, over a long period, restricted him in where he could go. He complained 15 times to the police, who did not take him seriously. He is now confined to a wheelchair.

    I know the police are restricted by senior officers, but at times the police's failure to address victimisation of the disabled is inexcusable.

    Why does it happen. The public's perception of disability, not helped by the Coalition Government's scapegoating of the disabled as benefit cheats, is pretty scary, as in the statistics from the English Federation of Disability Support www.efds.co.uk/.../facts_and_statistics   38% believe disabled people are a burden on society, 28% believe there is ill-feeling around the perceived extra support given to disabled people, 52% assume all disabilities are physical.

    Also if you look up bullying of people on the spectrum, most of the hits are NAS web pages about bullying in school. As a result you've really got to search hard for stories.

  • Someone is going to come back at me with the comment - surely the police will intervene and prosecute.

    The police usually cannot act. I've sat on several committees dealing with hate crime, so i'm used to all the reasons. Financial constraints, prioritisation, pressure of work on fraud, violence, murder etc., not being able to be there when it happens, and being there would stop it happening; conditions on ASBOs - if someone has an ASBO is involved they cannot intervene (don't ask me why).

    Increasingly this is a big communities question - communities are supposed to act to make sure it cannot happen- fat chance....

    And that's despite the fact the police and the authorities ought to have some appreciation why a blind person cannot defend themselves - and cannot describe their assailants!

    So how much worse does it get when people on the spectrum get bullied, when no-one properly understands what autism involves, and how it affects people on the spectrum?