A hatred/fear for mockery

longman said:

Because of my height I get stared at a lot. For years I was very self conscious about this. Tall people do seem to get complexes about the attention they get.

Looking back on life I get the feeling most people are so concerned about themselves, they don't have time for more than passing observation of others. Someone "noticing" me because of my height is probably more of an automatic reaction than someone actually making a note of it (though I also suffer from people who, because they don't see a face in front of them, walk into me).

The funniest place I ever lived in this respect was Sheffield, where I was constantly aware of people looking up at me, then down at my feet then looking up again. It is the only place I've ever experienced this. I can only surmise they were checking to see if my feet were on the ground, or I was wearing platform shoes. I doubt if anyone gave it much thought though.

When two people are laughing or smirking, you have to consider this might be part of an ongoing discussion. The fact they were laughing near you might just be coincidence.

I'm pretty certain most people don't really notice very much, being too busy with their own thoughts.

I can relate to the tall bit, too but I stopped growing at 14, so now I'm just tall and don't stand out in a crowd, like I did as a child. I agree with your last sentence, although it doesn't always feel like that at the time.

Because of my height I get stared at a lot. For years I was very self conscious about this. Tall people do seem to get complexes about the attention they get.

Looking back on life I get the feeling most people are so concerned about themselves, they don't have time for more than passing observation of others. Someone "noticing" me because of my height is probably more of an automatic reaction than someone actually making a note of it (though I also suffer from people who, because they don't see a face in front of them, walk into me).

The funniest place I ever lived in this respect was Sheffield, where I was constantly aware of people looking up at me, then down at my feet then looking up again. It is the only place I've ever experienced this. I can only surmise they were checking to see if my feet were on the ground, or I was wearing platform shoes. I doubt if anyone gave it much thought though.

When two people are laughing or smirking, you have to consider this might be part of an ongoing discussion. The fact they were laughing near you might just be coincidence.

I'm pretty certain most people don't really notice very much, being too busy with their own thoughts.

Sorry to hear of your pain. I had it too.

I can relate to the same experience but rationalise that some people might not even notice anyone lurking in the background.

As I'm now old and cynical, if someone has a negative opinion about me, it doesn't matter unless they are close to me or have any influence on my income.

Im also if i hear people laughing ialways think they must be loughing at me cause most people laught whenevr i speak.

Thought I'd contribute to this one. 

People can be cruel, it's human nature. I used to get all the same kind of stuff at school and work and it isn't nice. But you have to remember that just because they laugh or make fun of you, doesn't make them right, or you wrong in any way. It's hard, but you have to ignore it.

Not everyone will make fun of you. Some may affectionately wind you up, but it isn't meant to hurt you, it means they are comfortable enough around you that they feel they can have fun with you. I used to find this hard, and still do, and try not to let it bother me, because I know they mean no harm, even if it upsets me underneath and makes me question if what they are saying is true. I used to ask my wife after most social events why someone had said something about me, why they were laughing at me etc and she explained the above - I trust her on that one.

As for your partner, you will make them very unhappy and push them away if you continue like this. People like to share. If he/she is telling someone that you are currently enjoying a show on TV, that's a nice thing. They are telling someone that you are enjoying something. Sure, that person could turn round and say "hey, you've got terrible taste - how can  you like that pile of crap?" but that's just some people. Sod them. If you're enjoying it then that's all that matters, and if you're partner is happy that you're happy, that's important.

So, as others have said, lighten up a bit and let go of the past. It'll make you ill and very unhappy if you don't.

Whoa, this all sounds very familiar. I'm exactly the same - I'm so paranoid that if I hear a group of people laughing in public, I always think they must be laughing at me. Same goes for discussing my interests, or even talking much at all.

Don't blame yourself though - paranoia never comes from nowhere. It's the fault of all those who mocked you in your childhood. Don't worry, you won't be mocked on here

Hi cmerrick, I have been laughed at and humiliated by others over the years.

Two things here. You can take yourself too seriously. If you assume everyone is ridiculing you, you will have a lonely isolated life, as will your partner, if they stay.

The other is, it takes time to get over the hurt. You have to remember that children amuse themselves at the expense of others and then just forget it. There was probably no underlying malice. If you can let go of the past, forgive them, if you like, because they were just silly kids, you will feel better. They  have very likely forgotten the events anyway. You also need to make sure it doesn't happen in the future.

When some of my circle realised I had aspergers, they imediately assumed all the stereotypes were true. They started explaining jokes to me, and often laughed at things I said and did. I chose one person, and emailed them about how hurtful it is to be laughed at. I also said that I did understand their joke, I still don't laugh if it's not funny. They have now taken on a protective stance, ant tell off other people who treat me unkindly. They mean well, and are trying to understand. They know I have useful quallities and my apparent rudeness at times is not meant as unkindness by me.

Try and put your viewpoint across on occasions because if they get to know you, they have something they can like about you. It's hard to like a complete stranger.It is also hard to like someone who appears to dislike you. Try and see yourself through their eyes, they can be defensive too. Above all, keep it light. People seek company to distract from lifes tedium. They may never be close friends, but pleasant aquaintances are an asset in life.

Let go of the past, build a future.