Counselling- worth it or damaging if not done with a counsellor who understands autism?

I think it can be more damaging. I don't think you necessarily need an expert counsellor who specialises in autism. But someone with a bit of awareness and understanding of how to adapt for someone with autism, particularly if you are a masker.

I had a poor experience with a therapist who didn't seem to have any understanding. She definitely made me feel worse. I've also done CBT, which although I gelled well with the therapist, was too prescriptive and didn't work for my autistic mind.

I am currently in therapy again. This therapist and the content of the therapy seems a better fit. No idea if it's going to work but it's at least more accessible.

Hi Ellie1984,

Thank you for your post to our online community.

If you are interested in counselling (NHS & private), you may like to have a look at the Autism Services Directory: https://www.autism.org.uk/directory under ‘Health & Counsellors’. 

This guide produced by the National Autistic Society may be of interest. It collates suggestions on ways professionals can make mental health talking therapies better for autistic people.   

Content note- the guide contains sections on suicide and self-harm: Good practice guide for professionals delivering therapy

I hope you find this helpful.

Rishma Mod

HiEllie1984 

I have weekly therapy sessions and I did have a batch of 12 coaching sessions that really helped with the challenges I faced as an autistic person. The therapy has been more in depth and depending on what you are working through it can be pretty intense at times but also very revealing and helpful moving forward. My therapist doesn't specialise in autism but I had a free 30 minute session to see if it felt okay for both of us. I understand that care needs to be taken too when choosing a therapist I watched a couple of podcasts on how to choose a good therapist and then looked on the BACP therapist directory.

I hope whatever you decide it works out for you.

I would strongly recommend vetting the counsellor to make sure they understand both the individual issues caused by autism and the influence this has on the relationship dynamic.

My experience was that the first relationship counsellor we had was dismissive of my autistic traits and  said I had to try harder to empathise, without understanding how difficult it was for me to do so. Other autistic traits were also very relevant to the relationship issues and these were all dismissed as just me being lazy, difficult or lacking.

Once we found a psychotherapist who really knew about autism then it was a huge step forward. I could have individual sessions with them as well to work on the areas I struggled with and the individual therapy could focus on the areas that gave most benefit to the relationship first.

They were also excellent at explaining the challenges I faced to my partner while offering the upside of sharing the progress and introducing the changes into the couples therapy sessions too.

You will need to talk to them about whether they offer individual sessions as well as couples sessions as not all are willing to do this.

It is important to interview them before hiring them to make sure they really know their stuff around your specific autistic traits too as this is quite likely the root of the areas you will focus on.

This is just my opinion of course, I'm sure others will have their own.

Hi Ellie1984, don't know if this helps but I've been in psychotherapy for a couple of years(still have weekly sessions) but only got my official diagnosis Tuesday. My therapist is not specifically autism trained but she has always been kind and empathetic, and acknowledged in this weeks session that the diagnosis was a big life event for me. For me personally I'm benefitting from therapy even if it is not specifically tailored for people with autism(mine is more "complex needs" trauma therapy), although I totally get that some people may benefit more from an autism tailored therapy approach. I think ultimately it comes down to what you feel comfortable with, see which therapist is a good fit perhaps. 

In general terms of is therapy worth it, I would say yes as its helped me cope with a lot of big changes this year. I hope if you do decide on counselling/therapy its a positive experience for you too.