Counselling- worth it or damaging if not done with a counsellor who understands autism?

I've been in counselling for around 5 years. For me it's an absolute god send and helps so much. My counsellor is highly trained in neurodiversity and is also neurodivergent herself. I also have trauma so she's trained in that too. I've learnt so much about myself over the years that I probably wouldn't know if I hadn't had the space to explore my feelings and talk things through. I have also learnt many helpful coping strategies and we're currently doing hypnotherapy. I would say there are some important things to considder. 1. Do you actually click with the therapist and feel safe with them? If not your unlikely to feel comfortable enough to open up and share your feelings. 2. Are they neuroafferming, or even better neurodivergent themselves? This is absolutely essential. They need to understand the complexity that comes along with being autistic and know how to support you. 3. Ask which modalities they are trained in. Many counsellors are trained in multiple modalities and it's helpful to know which one's they are trained in so you can see if they fit with what you need.

Oh Lord how awful.  Indeed, mental health services understand very little about Autism.  What really appals me here is that they laughed at you.  Whether you were right or wrong, to laugh at a patient in distress is beyond unprofessional, to the point of cruelty.  And expecting anyone to travel in a distressed state, Autistic or not, I would have thought would risk accident.  What are these people thinking?  I'm so sorry you went through that.

ok, thank you. 

I have experienced CBT and found it harmful when autism isn't taken into account. How great that you've found someone who is so understanding and helpful. I'm so happy for you that she is so effective for you. I am giving it a try now and will ask questions to gauge if I feel things are a good fit.  Thanks for your reply.

Thank you for sharing your experience. Sounds like you've been lucky to find people who had good awareness and willingness to learn with you. How great! I will give it a go now I think, but be wary of ensuring it feels right for me. 

Thank you. I will give it a go but remain aware of whether it is actually helping or not. 

I agree, 6 sessions that are so prescriptive are ridiculous. I was put on a wait list for 2 years to get those sessions. I was struggling so much that I paid privately in the meantime then when I got to the top of their list they refused me because I'd had private counselling (that I was struggling to afford out of desperation!)

Thank you for sharing you experience and your advice. I have had a negative experience with community mental health teams also. I was advised to ring 111 mental health when I was really struggling at one time and when I stated I believed I might be autistic (prior to my diagnosis -while I was waiting for my assessment) they laughed at me. When I explained some aspect of autism that meant I'd find it hard to get to the emergency appointment they wanted to make for me ( in 2 hours time, in a place I've never been to before, a fair distance away and I explained that I didn't feel safe to drive to due to at that time being in an extremely distressed state and totally alone) they said I obviously didn't want the help they were offering and put the phone down on me. It really put me off being open with anyone and reaching out again. I believe so many mental health people are so poorly trained in autism that they fail to be understanding and adaptive to accommodate the experience of autistic people. This is why I wanted to start this thread to understand my experiences. 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I have been made to feel worse by previous experiences so sorry to hear you have too. I feel everything I've done through counselling in the past was to some degree helpful, however I feel it's so important to get the diagnosis right first so that it's done with a basic understanding of autism.  Because it wasn't for me it ultimately caused me a lot of harm. But that's just my opinion. 

Thank you

Thank you. I agree that having an initial session to gauge how it feels is really helpful. So glad you found something that helped you. 

Unfortunately the therapist who mocked my discomfort with eye contact is listed on the BACP as someone who work with those on the autistic spectrum. As a result I'm not as inclined to trust that directory personally but I understand it helps to ensure they have adequate counselling qualifications. I think being adequately trained as a counsellor and being genuinely effective in supporting autistic people are two very different things unfortunately. 

Thank you for your advice. I have found counsellors to be dismissive of what I now know to be autistic traits, to the point of mocking them, so I understand where you're coming from. I feel harm has been done to me by failing to recognise that I am autistic which is why I wanted to ask the question and see other people's experiences before I decide to move forward with it. 

Thank you for sharing. I went to therapy before I was diagnosed and when that ended I had raised the possibility I might be autistic and was told that wasn't a factor and she wouldn't have done anything differently even if I was. My belief is that getting an accurate diagnosis is vital to ensuring validation and a true understanding of what you're experiencing. I'm so glad your therapist recognised it as an important life event for you. I wish mine had. 

I think you should mention it to your new counsellor, there are various methods of counselling and not all suit everyone and of course just like in the rest of life you just may not get on with someone.

So grateful for all responses. They've helped me a lot. I had the opportunity to get counselling through the NHS through a team I'm under for a physical health issue, but I'm allowed to discuss anything with her, so I decided to give it a go. I've had one session which I started by mentioning my autism diagnosis and it turns out she has experience of working with autism previously. I'm hopeful it will be productive so I am going to give it a try. I should mention that my feeling unsure about it was because I have had experience of counselling before I was diagnosed and I feel it did cause more harm than good so I was nervous of taking up the offer. I'm hopeful it will be more productive now that I have a true picture of what I'm dealing with so can work with a counsellor knowing my autism is a factor in what I'm feeling.

I have therapy, it was because of my therapist that I sought out a diagnosis. She is autistic and I actually don’t think I would get through this thing called life without her right now. She does person centred therapy, but in the past I have had straight forward counselling on the phone and also CBT. I probably wouldn’t recommend the CBT but it was the gateway to the other help I have received. You can try a session with someone to see how you get on, ask any questions and get the feel for it. Some do face to face, some online. 

I'd echo what's said here ... Definitely give it a go, but don't give up if you just don't feel right with one particular person.

Over the years I've seen about ten counsellors/ psychologists/therapists/psychiatrists, and a couple of them didn't match well with me, so that's probably 20%

I’ve been through three different therapists and two psychiatrists. I had two one-on-one therapists (one was an art therapist with experience with children with Autism, but was still fantastic because she was willing to learn more about adults along with me) and one couples therapist. Every single one of these professionals were helpful for me in different ways. Particularly that art therapist. She was awesome.

My personal advice is to give it a shot. Yes, there is the possibility of having a bad experience, but the good news is that no one is forcing you to stay with whoever you are with. I would recommend that if you do have a bad experience, don’t completely write off the possibility that you may have a better connection with a different therapist. It could even take a few tries to find the right person who understands your needs. However, as I’ve seen evidenced on this site, therapy isn’t for all Autistics.

Also, please note that - at least here in America - there are a LOT of counselors out there that specialize in Christian counseling. That’s great if you’re Christian, but if not that could be iffy. If you do go the route of seeing a religious counselor, check out their credentials carefully, since priests/pastors can offer counseling without any form of therapeutic license. Since I am an agnostic atheist, I fear the possibility of having a “professional” analyze my thoughts and choices from the lens of an old book rather than recent proven psychological sciences, but maybe that is something you’d be interested in? Just another aspect to think about, I guess.

I had all my counselling and therapy before I knew I was autistic, before I even knew what autism was and yes it did help loads. None of my counselling was via the NHS, apart from one very short 6 week period, I didn't get on particularly well and just thought he wasn't a very good counsellor and the system of 6x45mins sessions totally inadaquate.

For most of my life as an unidentified Autistic person therapy of any kind did me no harm, but then it also did me zero good.  Then there was community mental health services - massive harm.  Totally gas-lighting and barking up the wrong tree.  But then they did have a misdiagnosis made with out protocol on file that they didn't think to share with me. No wonder I never understood what they were talking about. Ombudsman found in my favour on that one!

Since my diagnosis, I have encountered people who are either Autistic themselves or have spent most of their career studying Autism.  Hurrah! Finally talking to people, who don't misunderstand everything and recognise the massive cognitive differences of the Autistic brain.

I would just make clear to them that you are Autistic, ask what their experience of neurodivergence is, and give them a list of adjustments you think would help.  

Basically in the main, therapies for NTs are pretty useless to us, but if they can adapt it can work.