Counselling- worth it or damaging if not done with a counsellor who understands autism?

I would strongly recommend vetting the counsellor to make sure they understand both the individual issues caused by autism and the influence this has on the relationship dynamic.

My experience was that the first relationship counsellor we had was dismissive of my autistic traits and  said I had to try harder to empathise, without understanding how difficult it was for me to do so. Other autistic traits were also very relevant to the relationship issues and these were all dismissed as just me being lazy, difficult or lacking.

Once we found a psychotherapist who really knew about autism then it was a huge step forward. I could have individual sessions with them as well to work on the areas I struggled with and the individual therapy could focus on the areas that gave most benefit to the relationship first.

They were also excellent at explaining the challenges I faced to my partner while offering the upside of sharing the progress and introducing the changes into the couples therapy sessions too.

You will need to talk to them about whether they offer individual sessions as well as couples sessions as not all are willing to do this.

It is important to interview them before hiring them to make sure they really know their stuff around your specific autistic traits too as this is quite likely the root of the areas you will focus on.

This is just my opinion of course, I'm sure others will have their own.

I would strongly recommend vetting the counsellor to make sure they understand both the individual issues caused by autism and the influence this has on the relationship dynamic.

My experience was that the first relationship counsellor we had was dismissive of my autistic traits and  said I had to try harder to empathise, without understanding how difficult it was for me to do so. Other autistic traits were also very relevant to the relationship issues and these were all dismissed as just me being lazy, difficult or lacking.

Once we found a psychotherapist who really knew about autism then it was a huge step forward. I could have individual sessions with them as well to work on the areas I struggled with and the individual therapy could focus on the areas that gave most benefit to the relationship first.

They were also excellent at explaining the challenges I faced to my partner while offering the upside of sharing the progress and introducing the changes into the couples therapy sessions too.

You will need to talk to them about whether they offer individual sessions as well as couples sessions as not all are willing to do this.

It is important to interview them before hiring them to make sure they really know their stuff around your specific autistic traits too as this is quite likely the root of the areas you will focus on.

This is just my opinion of course, I'm sure others will have their own.