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Feeling very alone in thus world. I know i dont belong here.

Ellie1984

I can't do this any more and I don't know what to do. 

Parents

  • I've come across your post as I was about to do my own post similar to yours. Is it everyday you feel like this? It's particularly bad for me today. I too enjoy time by myself but it would be nice to have friends and be invited out to places or someone to send a message. 

  • in reply to BlueHawk

    I feel like it most of the time but it's definately worse recently. It's like my brain has reached capacity to try and I've lost the desire to even care about anything now. I've given up and accept i just don't belong in this world now. I used to be so much more driven and wanting to do things but i just don't care anymore. I hope it's just a bad day for you and that you feel a bit better tomorrow. 

  • in reply to Ellie1984

    I feel similar, especially your comment about the brain and not caring about anything.

    Heaviness of the face, lack of expressivity, anguish and the loss of motivation or will to do things.

    Taking medication for depression has been quite useful in my case. I wonder if you have talked about your case with a professional.

    I do not have friends because I find that very hard and exhausting. Somehow the way people live friendships is not very natural for me.

    And in a sense , i'm yet to discover it. It tends to be less frequent than the normal way, and have some focus or topic or theme, rather than the unstructured conversation type.

    In the past , i've tried "parallel play" and that was wonderful for me , but it's a pretty odd way of communicating , I guess.

    I hope you can feel welcome here, and that you come to the forum sometimes.

Reply
  • in reply to Ellie1984

    I feel similar, especially your comment about the brain and not caring about anything.

    Heaviness of the face, lack of expressivity, anguish and the loss of motivation or will to do things.

    Taking medication for depression has been quite useful in my case. I wonder if you have talked about your case with a professional.

    I do not have friends because I find that very hard and exhausting. Somehow the way people live friendships is not very natural for me.

    And in a sense , i'm yet to discover it. It tends to be less frequent than the normal way, and have some focus or topic or theme, rather than the unstructured conversation type.

    In the past , i've tried "parallel play" and that was wonderful for me , but it's a pretty odd way of communicating , I guess.

    I hope you can feel welcome here, and that you come to the forum sometimes.

Children
  • in reply to lostmyway

    To some degree yes. I need the op to help with the symptoms I have so I want it done asap. But at the same time its a big op that will have an impact on my life after too. It feels like a lot to take in, especially when I found out about it around the same time I had my autism diagnosis. It feels like my brain has found it a bit of an overload to process. 

  • in reply to Ellie1984

    Is it the thought of the op that's getting you down, Ellie?

  • in reply to BernadetteB

    Thank you for sharing. Im finding everyone's comments so helpful. I hope you find some peace and feel more like yourself soon. 

  • in reply to Ellie1984
    Hi Ellie, reading your updates, I can relate to so much of what you are carrying right now. I am also a late-realized adult, and I completely understand the immense weight of facing a massive shift in your life context at the exact same time as dealing with health and medical struggles. When two huge things hit at once, it really can push our brains to maximum capacity and cause us to stall.
    Like you, I find physical, unstructured socializing very exhausting and prefer just to be in my own safe routines and sanctuaries. Recently, my own routine faced an unexpected change and it triggered a severe autistic meltdown and executive dysfunction where I couldn't even function in the supermarket. It is a really difficult, heavy time for me right now as well.
    But as others have said, being able to connect here without the pressure of physical meetups is so valuable. When my capacity is maxed out, I try to radically drop the demands on myself and lose myself in my favorite deep reading projects until the storm passes. I really hope your upcoming NHS counseling brings you some comfort, and I hope we can both find a bit of quiet space for our brains to rest today.
  • in reply to emanningis

    In the past i did lots of things like fitness classes, craft classes and a choir to get out and around people but i still never felt i could connect with people very well. I seem to have lost interest/ capacity to do that recently. Apart from work I rarely leave the house now. Im in pain too , awaiting an operation, which doesn't help at the moment.