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Meltdown today

Orangegnome

Today I had a meltdown for the first time in a few weeks. I thought I was doing okay, but today pushed me over the edge. I have stress about work, something personal in my home life and I was running late today while trying to please others and failing miserably. I have an ill friend and thinking about her is making me feel so sad a lot of the time. I take antidepressants, and I think they work for me, but I just had a very hard day today and it all started with this loss of control emotionally. I don’t know what I want from posting here but I feel I just want to tell people who might understand. 

Parents

  • Im glad you are posting here, and releasing a bit of what is causing you distress. it sounds like you are dealing with a lot, and it's understandable that you've been pushed over the edge. I hope you can be kind and gentle with yourself as you navigate your way through this.Purple heart

  • in reply to Lonehare12

    Thank you Lonehare, I certainly feel like I have got my fair share of difficulties at the moment. They aren’t easy to fix either, and I struggle to share my feelings and how much everything hurts in real life. I find when I’m angry, overwhelmed or sad I do become mute or at least able to access less words than usual. It’s frightening and frustrating. 

  • in reply to Orangegnome

    Sorry to jump in, it is that inability to access words that becomes so frustrating. Either a tirade of words come out that weren’t meant for public consumption, more thoughts, or nothing and not able to find the words, they are all jumbled and not accessible.

  • in reply to Orangegnome

    At my assessment my wife described my periods of silence as ‘radio silence’ they can last for days. 
    I particularly hate it when a scene has played out in public, it seems to give my family something to gossip about. I think of it as similar to sending drunk text messages, in the morning I can’t remember that being me and feel even worse.

    If you want a good podcast I can recommend Sara Gibbs, Aut-hour. One of her guests is Fern Brady, a very good listen. They are all good guests, everyone is autistic!

  • in reply to Roy

    It’s frustrating because I don’t want to be mute,  I can’t speak, or look at anyone, I don’t want to be seen and these things alway happen infront of other people. I have thoughts of how bad it feels and I’m kind of scared of what might happen next and also scared the person I am with will hate me. It’s shame I suppose. This afternoon is a quiet one for me, going to sit in the hot tub and listen to a favouite podcast ..

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  • in reply to Roy

    It’s frustrating because I don’t want to be mute,  I can’t speak, or look at anyone, I don’t want to be seen and these things alway happen infront of other people. I have thoughts of how bad it feels and I’m kind of scared of what might happen next and also scared the person I am with will hate me. It’s shame I suppose. This afternoon is a quiet one for me, going to sit in the hot tub and listen to a favouite podcast ..

Children
  • in reply to Orangegnome

    At my assessment my wife described my periods of silence as ‘radio silence’ they can last for days. 
    I particularly hate it when a scene has played out in public, it seems to give my family something to gossip about. I think of it as similar to sending drunk text messages, in the morning I can’t remember that being me and feel even worse.

    If you want a good podcast I can recommend Sara Gibbs, Aut-hour. One of her guests is Fern Brady, a very good listen. They are all good guests, everyone is autistic!