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Adhd

Peacock

I have been living on a high energy life that l have really enjoyed and l never viewed it has a disability.

It's my identity that l am not ashamed of it's who l am .

If l don't function like this then l would never be able to live life because the alternative would be living a life in bed and never doing nothing,it's the way that my brain works for me. I love me. With all my ups and downs.

But having a little knowledge on how to manage it better or just being mindful to other people and how my life looks like to others and when to stop.

Because l have lived a vibrant life of ADHD it has left out other parts of my live that is my own personality to not show through and then l have felt like l am broken.

I have found it hard to find work that's suitable for me , working with other people is very uncomfortable and very scary for me it feels like being closaphobic,l keep looking for the exit sign .

I was always late, got sacked, because l can't organize my life.

Tried climbing bennifits pip but was sent out a letter that said, we do not believe you, so this has caused me more damage and a deeper rejection by society.

 I also struggle with health conditions but no one will believe me.

Because everything is masked by ADHD.

But l am old now and really a diagnose isn't going to help me l spoke with a mental health worker and he said l had symptoms of ADHD and autism and did a online assessment,test.

But l am left frustrated that l have had to cope on my own, always pushing to be excepted it's been a very hard journey of emotional up and downs,what keeps me going is a determination to never give up, but the cost of living with depression and anxiety, so never give up.

  • I am staying away from the discussion on meds for ADHD - conscious of the "no medical advice" bit of the rules of this forum.

    Instead ( and picking up on the theme from  ) I would like to respond by raising the subject of the Japanese art of "kintsugi" - that of repairing broken pottery by using lacquer dusted with gold, silver or platinum.

    In this process, no attempt is made to hide the damage and its repair.  Instead the process is highlighted as precious.  Furthermore the item is especially treasured.

    I agree.

    never give up - you are not alone in that philosophy    :-) 

    hard tho' it is to not be frustrated, a calm mind allows one to express good technique when not giving up in overcoming the challenges

    best wishes

    Phased

  • I was diagnosed with ASD at 53 and ADHD-i 8 months later. It's been a steep learning curve but it's also allowed me to give myself a break from time to time.

    I've just started stimulant titration and it's making things feel slightly less "urgent"

    I saw a dermatologist recently as I have an autoimmune condition that affects my skin and they were asking if I was on any medication, I told them about my ADHD diagnosis and the medication, she looked shocked and actually said "what at your age!"

    I think if I can manage to get my brain to quieten down a tad it may improve a few other aspects of my life.

  • Many of us here came to start working out our neurodivergent (ND) journey of discovery - as older adults.  It can be that we have experienced a collection of related conditions (neurodivergent, or otherwise), plus, sometimes, one or more, mental health experiences as well.

    ND women and under-represented groups still seem to be missed identification in greater proportion until later life.

    I have a quote which rattles around my thoughts when I ponder over this topic:

    "Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
    Her infinite variety"

    (William Shakespeare, Anthony and Cleopatra, Act II, Scene 2),

    Facets of the Egyptian Queen have be described by:

    "Cleopatra's timeless allure, magnetic charisma, and fascinating unpredictability".

    "Familiarity does not make her boring; she is so dynamic and unpredictable that she never becomes routine".

    "Cleopatra’s immortal, endlessly fascinating, untouched by time, by age—and by familiarity; she’ll continue to fascinate, because she can never really be known".

    I think that essence of being an endless enigma may give a hint of how we may be perceived by non-neurodivergent people (without education, advocacy and familiarity) on first encountering us.

    To other people, we can seem "old" for our years as youngsters, and yet, "young" for our years as older adults. 

    I am reconciled / at ease with that situation.  (I suspect; being a stereotypical "grown up" is probably wildly overrated anyway).

    However, I am still learning to fight for the right of my own inner child to be recognised, acknowledged and supported - as I slowly rediscover her, stage by stage. 

    I plan to become the type of adult - access to whom that inner child would have very much welcomed - back in the day (and also to learn how to become more visible - as that type of adult - thereby, accessible in my wider community - so that other neurodivergent people, across the age groups, can spot me and therefore, hopefully, feel more visible themselves).

  • HI Peacock,

    I understand how frustrating it can be feeling like you don't fit in or that no-one understands you. It is definitely important that you tell yourself not to give up, because you never know what can happen.

    If you haven't read the NAS page on related conditions such as ADHD (Related conditions - a guide for all audiences), or the websites it links to, then this may be worth considering. There is also the page that deals with diagnostic assessments (Diagnostic and Assessment Service), which also covers ADHD, should you decide you wish to have one.

    If you are ever struggling with depression or anxiety, do have a look at the Depression page for help and advice. Always remember that you don't have to suffer alone.

    Please don't hesitate to reach out if you need any further assistance.

    Warm regards

    Brian Mod

  • age shouldn't stop you being assessed for ADHD or Autism. 

    At least with ADHD diagnosis you can then also try medication: which may actually help with other areas.  For me ADHD meds lowered my anxiety.

    so please don't write off seeking an assessment