Social exclusion

very good, I find a life spending as little time around these people is the life best lived , I find they are the people who live for this stuff so they always come prepared and they only go on people they think will be a easy target, im glad you are feeling better, stay strong your better than these people.

Yes with more new information he clearly had a plan! However he's actually done me a favour in hindsight as I love where I am now. Im part of a group that is all about inclusion and neurodiversity but ironically knowing what happened to me made me stronger and watch out for it happening to others. I think they see as vulnerable and easy targets forgetting we are actually very intelligent! 

Reminder rule 7

so if I get this right it sounds like he set this whole thing up as a trap to get you, he told you the company had one of your costumes, then acted hurt and started a witch hunt when you went to reclaim the costume he told you about, what a [removed by mod] , some people are just evil 

First of all, no there is absolutely no way you 'behaved badly'. Don't listen to anyone who tries to tell you otherwise- and any individual who says that should be ashamed of themselves. 

1- Making a SAR: Have a look at this guidance: https://ico.org.uk/for-the-public/getting-copies-of-your-information-subject-access-request/

2- Refusing: Refusing a SAR without a valid excuse (and these are very very narrow) is usually an instant loss at the Information Commissioner (which in theory can be fatal for a company). I wouldn't worry about it and, if they do try to claim anything, I would tell them that a refusal will result in a complaint to the ICO. 

And I'm sorry you went through your experience. We have so much more work to do to make this world better for us. However, the above should get you the resolution you hope. 

Best wishes. 

By law companies have to respond to your subject access request within one month otherwise they could face a fine and a claim for compensation.

Sounds like he's got an attitude problem and is totally out of order. It wouldn't be the end of the world to give you back something which belongs to you.

I would take it to the top and make a complaint because nobody has the right to treat you like that and if it goes unchallenged he'll continue to treat people he thinks he can walk all over, it could be seen as bullying and discrimination.

But definitely go down the subject access request route. I made a SAR with the DWP after the way I was treat by staff in the jobcentre and a disability advisor of all people, as a result of the notes they had left on my claim, things I hadn't even said.

It's interesting to see what information a company holds about you, and legally they have to provide you with it. You can make it verbally, by email or letter. I would definitely go down the email or letter route if you do so you've got a record and the date of making the request.

Thank you for your reply. I really appreciate you reaching out. Ians response implied I had previously behaved badly!!!! Not the case. Quite insulting actually laying the blame at my feet!Your reply has hit the nail on the head. How do I make a subject access request? Can they refuse?? I'm sorry you went through all that. It's exhausting and debilitating but quite common. Easy to target the vulnerable it would seem. 

Hi,

Thank you for sharing this. What you've been through is horrible and should have never happened. And no it is not legal at all. 

Unfortunately, sometimes very popular people wield enormous influence in such societies and groups, and all too often those turn out to be very dark personalities because of their charisma. It forms an incredibly nasty "Lord of the Flies" effect. 

One thing you could try to do is make a Subject Access Request with the group. They will then be required to hand over everything, even internal communications, about you and will be on the wrong side of the Information Commissioner if they don't. 

This will then show you how this exclusion was justified and may help inform any action you could take after. 

I've been through a similar situation recently, similar on so many levels I wanted to share it with you, maybe it has similarities? 

I was once member of a society in a university called Lifesaving, which was a combination of swimming and other stuff. I liked someone, she also did, suddenly turned away from me, said horrible things to me, and I stopped talking to her. 

(What follows is something I only fully understood after the Subject Access Request)

About two weeks later, a comment of mine triggered an enormous rage outburst from one of the leaders of the societies. Like the girl I liked both of them wielded enormous influence in the group and were unfortunately best friends. They organised a private call about me, and it resulted in at least five people sharing private information about me. 

They then used their influence to destroy all of my friendships, submit a complaint against me full of slander, and bullied me out of the society. Due to their gender, the university automatically took their side. Their unprofessional actions broke the law on two separate occassions, and I made a Subject Access Request against them when I suspected it after an email. 

(End of uncovered information)

I took one look at the contents and sent them to the Office of the Independent Adjudicator, expanding my complaint from the society to one against the whole university. My university panicked and U-turned just when it became clear the OIA was about to side with me. 

I hope this helps :)

Jules62 said:

is it legal to exclude someone with autism without making an attempt at reasonable adjustments? 

It sounds like you are having problems with an individual who you have had a disagreement with which has led to you being labelled as a troublemaker. It is not fair for us to take a side in this arguement as we only have one side of the story, however you are asking about the law in this context.

We cannot offer legal advice, only our understanding of the law so I would say that in my opinion this sounds like the individual has refused to engage on discussions with you because of previous problematic interactions with you where your actions have caused him issues.

I would think that this is not covered under the law covering "reasonable adjustments" as it is based on his experience of your behaviour and he may simply be reserving his right not to engage in discussion with you due to this. 

You probably have no recourse in this situation legally and no real way to convince him otherwise - which sucks, but it is a life experience that many of us (NT and ND) have from time to time

For the law to be applicable here you would need to establish that he is discriminating against you on the basis of your autism, but is seems to be that from what you describe it has been your actions had caused upset to him - and establishing the difference between your actions and your characteristics (causing the actions) would be such a grey area that I don't think any solicitor would take it on as a no-win-no-fee basis.

Jules62 said:

I was happy to try and resolve the matter but he refuses as he says Im just a mental ***!

You may have some grounds or slander here if you can produce witnesses to this effect. Would the witnesses be willing to get involved?

At the end of the day he is on the inside and has control while you are on the outside with little chance of changing his mind. The only realistic ways forward I can think of are 

1 - apologising and trying to repair the relationship. You will have to suck up the upset to yourself here.

2 - move to a different amateur group and hope they are not friend of this guy.

I realise this may not be what you want to hear. The world is a pretty unfair place and my advice is aimed at being practical rather than to make you feel  better - I thought this would be more useful that platitudes.