• Replies 2 replies
  • Subscribers 81 subscribers
  • Views 69 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Social exclusion

Jules62

Im a 63 year old, high functioning lady with audhd. I was a member of a local amateur drama group for over 20 years on and off. There a young man there who is treasurer, actor, lights, sound, tech, committee etc. I had call to go to his house and noticed a costume belonging to me that I had thought taken by another group when we had joint storage. So I was surprised to see it and said I would love to get it back. I messaged the theatre group who then had it and they were fine and said yes of course just take it. 
I was then told by this man that I had upset him as he had a good liaison between the two groups and I had created friction. I apologised and said they had seem fine. 
a little later I lent this group a costume and they kept it without return saying they had originally paid for this 18 years ago but in fact I had given the cash to the treasurer at the time so it belonged to me. They agreed to give it back. I then received an email saying I had upset this man and was now barred from membership!! I went into meltdown and was emotionally traumatised by it all.i tried contacting man but he hung up and then blocked me on all social media. 
A year on and he appeared doing lights at the theatre I am now at and happy at, I tried to speak to him but he just blanked me. 
I was happy to try and resolve the matter but he refuses as he says Im just a mental ***! It's been very upsetting as all my other theatre friends love and support me... is it legal to exclude someone with autism without making an attempt at reasonable adjustments? 

Parents

  • Hi,

    Thank you for sharing this. What you've been through is horrible and should have never happened. And no it is not legal at all. 

    Unfortunately, sometimes very popular people wield enormous influence in such societies and groups, and all too often those turn out to be very dark personalities because of their charisma. It forms an incredibly nasty "Lord of the Flies" effect. 

    One thing you could try to do is make a Subject Access Request with the group. They will then be required to hand over everything, even internal communications, about you and will be on the wrong side of the Information Commissioner if they don't. 

    This will then show you how this exclusion was justified and may help inform any action you could take after. 

    I've been through a similar situation recently, similar on so many levels I wanted to share it with you, maybe it has similarities? 

    I was once member of a society in a university called Lifesaving, which was a combination of swimming and other stuff. I liked someone, she also did, suddenly turned away from me, said horrible things to me, and I stopped talking to her. 

    (What follows is something I only fully understood after the Subject Access Request)

    About two weeks later, a comment of mine triggered an enormous rage outburst from one of the leaders of the societies. Like the girl I liked both of them wielded enormous influence in the group and were unfortunately best friends. They organised a private call about me, and it resulted in at least five people sharing private information about me. 

    They then used their influence to destroy all of my friendships, submit a complaint against me full of slander, and bullied me out of the society. Due to their gender, the university automatically took their side. Their unprofessional actions broke the law on two separate occassions, and I made a Subject Access Request against them when I suspected it after an email. 

    (End of uncovered information)

    I took one look at the contents and sent them to the Office of the Independent Adjudicator, expanding my complaint from the society to one against the whole university. My university panicked and U-turned just when it became clear the OIA was about to side with me. 

    I hope this helps :)

Reply

  • Hi,

    Thank you for sharing this. What you've been through is horrible and should have never happened. And no it is not legal at all. 

    Unfortunately, sometimes very popular people wield enormous influence in such societies and groups, and all too often those turn out to be very dark personalities because of their charisma. It forms an incredibly nasty "Lord of the Flies" effect. 

    One thing you could try to do is make a Subject Access Request with the group. They will then be required to hand over everything, even internal communications, about you and will be on the wrong side of the Information Commissioner if they don't. 

    This will then show you how this exclusion was justified and may help inform any action you could take after. 

    I've been through a similar situation recently, similar on so many levels I wanted to share it with you, maybe it has similarities? 

    I was once member of a society in a university called Lifesaving, which was a combination of swimming and other stuff. I liked someone, she also did, suddenly turned away from me, said horrible things to me, and I stopped talking to her. 

    (What follows is something I only fully understood after the Subject Access Request)

    About two weeks later, a comment of mine triggered an enormous rage outburst from one of the leaders of the societies. Like the girl I liked both of them wielded enormous influence in the group and were unfortunately best friends. They organised a private call about me, and it resulted in at least five people sharing private information about me. 

    They then used their influence to destroy all of my friendships, submit a complaint against me full of slander, and bullied me out of the society. Due to their gender, the university automatically took their side. Their unprofessional actions broke the law on two separate occassions, and I made a Subject Access Request against them when I suspected it after an email. 

    (End of uncovered information)

    I took one look at the contents and sent them to the Office of the Independent Adjudicator, expanding my complaint from the society to one against the whole university. My university panicked and U-turned just when it became clear the OIA was about to side with me. 

    I hope this helps :)

Children
No Data