Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I haven't been on for a while as life was jogging along nicely, but something has come up that I am totally out of my depth, and comfort zone with, and I am hoping some one here will be able to help.
My son is almost 13 now and has Aspergers. He is a wonderful articulate loving boy, who has been through a really rough time, that we are coming out the other side of. He takes prozac to manage his anxiety.
He is going through puberty and has announced that he is gay, that is fine and not the problem, (I don't care if he loves a blue koala as long as he is happy), I mention it because it might be related to his problem.
He has for a while had wetting and soiling issues which have had me stumped, because he used to be really reliable. Tonight after a lot of reassurance he sent me this message over skype as it was easier than talking to me face to face (I get that it is embarrassing for him at his age>)
the reason why I am urinating is cus I am a idiot and I stick my hand up my but witch cause me to wee. and I want to stop cus its not helping and idk what to do I am sorry
but I cant stop and I don't know hy
why*
I understand that it is a pleasuring thing and also probably sensory aswell but I have no idea how to talk to him, to help him stop. It is having a huge impact on his life. he is needing lots of changes of clothes, his hands and nails and around the nails are always filthy because of where they are going, and his is having repeated bouts of diarrhoea.
Sorry to ask for help but I am totally utterly stumped, and I want to help him, especially with school coming up
There is a paragraph relevant to this in Tony Attwood's the complete guide to asperger syndrome, p357....it covers much of the ground we've covered above, in a context of older adolescents/adults but useful from a respected authority:
"The focus or expression of sexual pleasure can also be of concern. For example, the person with Asperger's syndrome may not have had the usual social, sensual and sexual experiences of typical adolescents, and may develop sexually arousing fantasies involving objects, clothing, children or animals. The technical term is paraphilia. Acting out some paraphilia is illegal. The person with Asperger's syndrome may have been sexually abused and subsequently repeat the offence with others, assuming such sexual behaviour is acceptable, or as an attempt to understand why someone would engage in, and appear to enjoy, such behaviour"
"A curiosity and confusion regarding sexuality can lead to the desire for more information and the development of solitary and clandestine special interest in pornography".
As I say that's for an older teenager, but the issue is that after a disturbing experience such as the one at school, he may be trying to sort it out in his head, over focussing on the issues of whether it means he is gay, and whether he should be acting out the role. With aspergers you worry, process possibilities over and over again in negative cycles, and may get a buzz out of this review.