Unsympathetic GP

Yes, I would agree with that.

Although my GP gives me the impression he doesn’t know much about autism, he has been accommodating and caring in other ways with me. Our surgery has a few GPs in the practice and if I can’t see my own GP, I go to one of the others but I avoid one particularly unpleasant GP. 

I think all my school reports said variations of 'could do better', especially maths and sport, which I was always useless at and still am. It took me a long time to gain any self confidence, I think my confidence went up as my concern for what others thought went down.

I think writing things down could help, but also going there with a pretty clear idea of what you would like them to do, sometimes it's obvious, like you have a chest infection, you need antibiotics, but often its not. Explaining what the problem is and asking if an x-ray or some further investigation is the right way forward can help, it helps to create the idea that looking after your health is something you share with your doctor rather than expecting them "make you better", what ever that means.

Timbo said:

was drilled into me from school where I was told I was intelligent but lazy

This is what I experienced too and and school was a dreadful experience for me. I believed that I was fundamentally inadequate and an innately bad person. One parent constantly reminded me of how much of their hard earned money they had spent on me over the years, that I should be paying them back by achieving success in certain areas of life.specific autistic people find challenging are fixed

Timbo said:

I know no matter how hard I try things are never gonna get easyier for me

That may be so, but perhaps there are ways to get round some of the things that aren’t easy for you. For example, next time you are due to see your GP write a note to your GP explaining why you are writing it (autistic/communication preferences) and give the note to them rather than relying on yourself to verbalise your notes. 

There are lots of articles and books about self care out there which might help you as they have tips and techniques to help people look after their own communication needs first. 

Timbo said:

I though there would be something he could do some direction he could have pointed me ion but yeah as others have said on here it’s upto me to sort it. I need to be brave and make the changes myself

I am constantly working on myself with my old CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) handouts. Not all autistic people find CBT useful, and certainly some aspects of CBT didn’t help me at all but I have found it very good for helping to remove self-blame and guilt. 

My gp is for headaches blood pressure etc… my autism needs are met by my local autism hub, they’re my lifeline… you can try looking for one in your area? 

And please know that it’s not you, it’s your gp. Your gp failed you just like they fail so many other people everyday. So it’s not specifically cos you’re autistic, they’re just insensitive to things they don’t understand, autism included.

I suffer from TRD and when I was 50 during a routine medication review I was asked if anyone had suggested that I may be autistic, strangely they hadn't?

It took almost 4 years (over 3 years NHS and a few months under the right to choose) but I was finally diagnosed. The report was sent to my GP and myself so I figured that they'd be in touch to arrange some sort of support or suggest a new treatment plan for my depression, absolutely nothing happened, I gave it a month before I reached out. 

It felt as if they were quiet dismissive, I'd made it this far without help so what what specific help did I want. 

So I'm back on the waiting list to our local community mental health team but if I'm really struggling I can call the crisis team!

I was also diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive) in September and it's been the same story, I'm waiting on a titration decision and I'm fed up to the back teeth.

Our local ASD support group (Daisy chain) are absolutely useless.

It's like "you have your diagnosis, what more do you want"?

Sorry rant over.

I think it is naive for us to assume they understand. Autism is complex.

1. I agree with this because like you I thought it was a lack of effort on my part that I found everything so hard. This was drilled into me from school where I was told I was intelligent but lazy and easily distracted. I had to change schools and was bullied badly I thought there must be something fundamental wrong with me because the poplar kids were all nasty and two faced yet I tried my best to be nice but nobody liked me. I internalised all this so initially my diagnosis was a relief but now I’m looking at what could have been and now  I know no matter how hard I try things are never gonna get easyier for me. I just don’t feel I’ve got the bandwidth to carry on the life I’m leading so yeah I know the doctor hasn’t got a magic wand but I though there would be something he could do some direction he could have pointed me ion but yeah as others have said on here it’s upto me to sort it. I need to be brave and make the changes myself! 

I deal with people that just don’t get it everyday. I dunno I just thought the GP would understand my naivety I suppose 

I can answer only for myself as every autistic person is different, has had different experiences and their ability to access helpful services is dependent on their location and resources.

Diagnosis helped me to understand why I experienced difficulties throughout my life. It removed much self-blame and guilt. After diagnosis my assessor referred me to an NHS autism clinic where an additional assessment of my needs was completed and I was given the contact details of organisations that could provide further support for my specific needs. I am fortunate as not everyone can get this sort of support. 

I know that not all of my difficulties are because of lack of effort on my part and this has had a positive impact on my mental health.

Timbo said:

I’m probably looking for understanding in the wrong place 

I think you have figured it out yourself. The understanding is not going to come from your GP. I imagine you will have a communication breakdown with them by continuing to speak with them about neurodivergence.

Yes it’s a good question one that I’ve been asked before on here I suppose I just expected more understanding. This is the first time I’ve been to the GP about my autism apart from the initial time for the assessment (years ago) It just feels like im dealing with a lot and it doesn’t feel like the doctor was taking seriously the depth of what im going through at the moment. I’m probably looking for understanding in the wrong place 

ArchaeC said:

Medical diagnosis of recognised conditions are not handed out just because they suit people. 

Help me to understand why you think this, please? What is the purpose of the diagnosis when there isn't a cure or treatment for autism?

Timbo said:

Doc- ‘I’m glad you’ve found a diagnosis that’s suits you’

Leaving autism aside, a comment such as that, no matter what condition it is referring to, should not be uttered by a doctor.

Medical diagnosis of recognised conditions are not handed out just because they suit people. 

I don't think they have the knowledge and training. They are general practitioners, not specialists. They know the basics. It is embarrassing for them to admit they are incompetent. That might be why you experienced the behaviour they displayed. You asked about coping. I cope by not visiting the GP about this issue. Acceptance is how I deal with it. Accept what I can't change. You mentioned you've already done your research which shows you can help yourself. I don't know what it is like to leave home and feel overwhelmed but it is nice to know you know what you need, such as not going to work. They ask about whether you will consider medication because it is their job to prescribe medication. I'm curious to know what more you want for them... 

Quotes from my consultation today;

Doc- ‘you live on your own that must be hard’ Me - ‘no it’s the only time I’m happy is when I’m home alone’ Doc- ‘That’s odd most people hate been alone’ 

Doc- ‘I’m glad you’ve found a diagnosis that’s suits you’

I left feeling a lot worse than when I went in and have felt *** all day tbh. I suffer with bad rumination and the whole things been spinning round my head all day. I don’t know if the doctor knew how invalidated he made me feel. I really hope not and it is just a lack of training or knowledge but it was horrible. 

It is similar to what I have been through. I'm not sure GP's have a strong understanding of neurodivergence. They have refused me care and I now accept it. I don't fight the system anymore because I appreciate they have their limits. I cannot force them to give me what I want. I can only accept what they offer. I have had the same issue with the mental health professionals. The burden is on me to do my own research and learn social skills and how to communicate so that I can make friends, if I want. Relying on professionals to sort out my issue is not safe and I don't think I should expect them to sort me out.

I understand that time is limited that’s why I made my notes, I actually timed myself reading f them out at home to make sure they weren’t too long. It took me 2 minutes. The GP stopped me 30seconds in. I appreciate directness myself but I also do like to be heard when I’m laying my soul out. 

What you need in a practical sense does always need to be communicated. GP appointments are short, they do not have time to try and mind read what you want, so they ask directly. Which personally I really appreciate although I do realise it leads to a limited amount of capacity for emotional support.

Support and understanding would be nice but on a practical level a sick note which he gave to me. Next time I’ll just go in and say ' need a sick note’ 

Since you've had a formal diagnosis, they should know that as it should be on your records. I would contact the surgery and request confirmation of that — if they've not done so, they need to pronto!