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Unsympathetic GP

Timbo

I’m 56 and got diagnosed with autism last year. I first went to my GP 12 years ago when I gave up drinking (I was dependent) but my GP dismissed me and more or less told me I was been silly and I was just coming to terms with life without drink. Anyway eventually I got an assessment and sure enough I am autistic something I already knew through years of research. The psychologist told me she thought I would benefit from an ADHD assessment as well, this was a surprise but looking back it shouldn’t have been because for years I was self medicating with amphetamines this is actually what led to my drinking because I would drink to take the edge off the amphetamines and one thing led to another as they say…. 
Since my diagnosis everything has got so much harder, work has become impossible and it came to a head Wednesday this week when I just couldn’t face going in so I got my daughter to phone in sick for me(I’m a coward) The only time I’m and happy and feel physically well is when I’m in the house doing my mosaic’s or art everything else I’m finding near to impossible. 
i have just got back from the GP I wrote down everything I needed to say because my mind has got a habit of just stopping working when I need it. The GP interrupted me straight away as I was reading my notes and through me off completely, He was so abrupt and actually said what do you want from me? I was shaking I was that upset it was awful and I couldn’t wait to get out of the room. I honestly think my whole gp surgery has a problem with neurodivergent people especially late diagnosed. 
I am really struggling to make sense of my whole life at the moment and feel completely overwhelmed everytime I need to leave the house for anything. 
when the GP saw me shaking he said you look anxious and said would you consider medication. The lack of understanding or willingness to understand is really frustrating. I’m considering changing my GP. 
I just feel like I need some breathing space and the GP just made me feel like I’m wasting everyone’s time. Something I’ve felt like all my life. Sorry to go on but I’m feeling a little bit lost at the moment. Has anyone else had to deal with passive aggressive GP’s and if so how do you cope? I wish I was more assertive but years of masking and people pleasing has made it neat to impossible. Any advice would be much appreciated 

Parents

  • Quotes from my consultation today;

    Doc- ‘you live on your own that must be hard’ Me - ‘no it’s the only time I’m happy is when I’m home alone’ Doc- ‘That’s odd most people hate been alone’ 

    Doc- ‘I’m glad you’ve found a diagnosis that’s suits you’

    I left feeling a lot worse than when I went in and have felt *** all day tbh. I suffer with bad rumination and the whole things been spinning round my head all day. I don’t know if the doctor knew how invalidated he made me feel. I really hope not and it is just a lack of training or knowledge but it was horrible. 

  • in reply to Timbo
    Timbo said:
    Doc- ‘I’m glad you’ve found a diagnosis that’s suits you’

    Leaving autism aside, a comment such as that, no matter what condition it is referring to, should not be uttered by a doctor.

    Medical diagnosis of recognised conditions are not handed out just because they suit people. 

  • in reply to ArchaeC
    ArchaeC said:
    Medical diagnosis of recognised conditions are not handed out just because they suit people. 

    Help me to understand why you think this, please? What is the purpose of the diagnosis when there isn't a cure or treatment for autism?

  • in reply to ArchaeC
    1. I agree with this because like you I thought it was a lack of effort on my part that I found everything so hard. This was drilled into me from school where I was told I was intelligent but lazy and easily distracted. I had to change schools and was bullied badly I thought there must be something fundamental wrong with me because the poplar kids were all nasty and two faced yet I tried my best to be nice but nobody liked me. I internalised all this so initially my diagnosis was a relief but now I’m looking at what could have been and now  I know no matter how hard I try things are never gonna get easyier for me. I just don’t feel I’ve got the bandwidth to carry on the life I’m leading so yeah I know the doctor hasn’t got a magic wand but I though there would be something he could do some direction he could have pointed me ion but yeah as others have said on here it’s upto me to sort it. I need to be brave and make the changes myself! 
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  • in reply to ArchaeC
    1. I agree with this because like you I thought it was a lack of effort on my part that I found everything so hard. This was drilled into me from school where I was told I was intelligent but lazy and easily distracted. I had to change schools and was bullied badly I thought there must be something fundamental wrong with me because the poplar kids were all nasty and two faced yet I tried my best to be nice but nobody liked me. I internalised all this so initially my diagnosis was a relief but now I’m looking at what could have been and now  I know no matter how hard I try things are never gonna get easyier for me. I just don’t feel I’ve got the bandwidth to carry on the life I’m leading so yeah I know the doctor hasn’t got a magic wand but I though there would be something he could do some direction he could have pointed me ion but yeah as others have said on here it’s upto me to sort it. I need to be brave and make the changes myself! 
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