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Unsympathetic GP

Timbo

I’m 56 and got diagnosed with autism last year. I first went to my GP 12 years ago when I gave up drinking (I was dependent) but my GP dismissed me and more or less told me I was been silly and I was just coming to terms with life without drink. Anyway eventually I got an assessment and sure enough I am autistic something I already knew through years of research. The psychologist told me she thought I would benefit from an ADHD assessment as well, this was a surprise but looking back it shouldn’t have been because for years I was self medicating with amphetamines this is actually what led to my drinking because I would drink to take the edge off the amphetamines and one thing led to another as they say…. 
Since my diagnosis everything has got so much harder, work has become impossible and it came to a head Wednesday this week when I just couldn’t face going in so I got my daughter to phone in sick for me(I’m a coward) The only time I’m and happy and feel physically well is when I’m in the house doing my mosaic’s or art everything else I’m finding near to impossible. 
i have just got back from the GP I wrote down everything I needed to say because my mind has got a habit of just stopping working when I need it. The GP interrupted me straight away as I was reading my notes and through me off completely, He was so abrupt and actually said what do you want from me? I was shaking I was that upset it was awful and I couldn’t wait to get out of the room. I honestly think my whole gp surgery has a problem with neurodivergent people especially late diagnosed. 
I am really struggling to make sense of my whole life at the moment and feel completely overwhelmed everytime I need to leave the house for anything. 
when the GP saw me shaking he said you look anxious and said would you consider medication. The lack of understanding or willingness to understand is really frustrating. I’m considering changing my GP. 
I just feel like I need some breathing space and the GP just made me feel like I’m wasting everyone’s time. Something I’ve felt like all my life. Sorry to go on but I’m feeling a little bit lost at the moment. Has anyone else had to deal with passive aggressive GP’s and if so how do you cope? I wish I was more assertive but years of masking and people pleasing has made it neat to impossible. Any advice would be much appreciated 

Parents

  • Quotes from my consultation today;

    Doc- ‘you live on your own that must be hard’ Me - ‘no it’s the only time I’m happy is when I’m home alone’ Doc- ‘That’s odd most people hate been alone’ 

    Doc- ‘I’m glad you’ve found a diagnosis that’s suits you’

    I left feeling a lot worse than when I went in and have felt *** all day tbh. I suffer with bad rumination and the whole things been spinning round my head all day. I don’t know if the doctor knew how invalidated he made me feel. I really hope not and it is just a lack of training or knowledge but it was horrible. 

  • in reply to Timbo
    Timbo said:
    Doc- ‘I’m glad you’ve found a diagnosis that’s suits you’

    Leaving autism aside, a comment such as that, no matter what condition it is referring to, should not be uttered by a doctor.

    Medical diagnosis of recognised conditions are not handed out just because they suit people. 

  • in reply to ArchaeC
    ArchaeC said:
    Medical diagnosis of recognised conditions are not handed out just because they suit people. 

    Help me to understand why you think this, please? What is the purpose of the diagnosis when there isn't a cure or treatment for autism?

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Yes, I would agree with that.

    Although my GP gives me the impression he doesn’t know much about autism, he has been accommodating and caring in other ways with me. Our surgery has a few GPs in the practice and if I can’t see my own GP, I go to one of the others but I avoid one particularly unpleasant GP. 

  • in reply to ArchaeC

    I think all my school reports said variations of 'could do better', especially maths and sport, which I was always useless at and still am. It took me a long time to gain any self confidence, I think my confidence went up as my concern for what others thought went down.

    I think writing things down could help, but also going there with a pretty clear idea of what you would like them to do, sometimes it's obvious, like you have a chest infection, you need antibiotics, but often its not. Explaining what the problem is and asking if an x-ray or some further investigation is the right way forward can help, it helps to create the idea that looking after your health is something you share with your doctor rather than expecting them "make you better", what ever that means.

  • in reply to Timbo
    Timbo said:
    was drilled into me from school where I was told I was intelligent but lazy

    This is what I experienced too and and school was a dreadful experience for me. I believed that I was fundamentally inadequate and an innately bad person. One parent constantly reminded me of how much of their hard earned money they had spent on me over the years, that I should be paying them back by achieving success in certain areas of life.specific autistic people find challenging are fixed

    Timbo said:
    I know no matter how hard I try things are never gonna get easyier for me

    That may be so, but perhaps there are ways to get round some of the things that aren’t easy for you. For example, next time you are due to see your GP write a note to your GP explaining why you are writing it (autistic/communication preferences) and give the note to them rather than relying on yourself to verbalise your notes. 

    There are lots of articles and books about self care out there which might help you as they have tips and techniques to help people look after their own communication needs first. 

    Timbo said:
    I though there would be something he could do some direction he could have pointed me ion but yeah as others have said on here it’s upto me to sort it. I need to be brave and make the changes myself

    I am constantly working on myself with my old CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) handouts. Not all autistic people find CBT useful, and certainly some aspects of CBT didn’t help me at all but I have found it very good for helping to remove self-blame and guilt. 

Reply
  • in reply to Timbo
    Timbo said:
    was drilled into me from school where I was told I was intelligent but lazy

    This is what I experienced too and and school was a dreadful experience for me. I believed that I was fundamentally inadequate and an innately bad person. One parent constantly reminded me of how much of their hard earned money they had spent on me over the years, that I should be paying them back by achieving success in certain areas of life.specific autistic people find challenging are fixed

    Timbo said:
    I know no matter how hard I try things are never gonna get easyier for me

    That may be so, but perhaps there are ways to get round some of the things that aren’t easy for you. For example, next time you are due to see your GP write a note to your GP explaining why you are writing it (autistic/communication preferences) and give the note to them rather than relying on yourself to verbalise your notes. 

    There are lots of articles and books about self care out there which might help you as they have tips and techniques to help people look after their own communication needs first. 

    Timbo said:
    I though there would be something he could do some direction he could have pointed me ion but yeah as others have said on here it’s upto me to sort it. I need to be brave and make the changes myself

    I am constantly working on myself with my old CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) handouts. Not all autistic people find CBT useful, and certainly some aspects of CBT didn’t help me at all but I have found it very good for helping to remove self-blame and guilt. 

Children
  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Yes, I would agree with that.

    Although my GP gives me the impression he doesn’t know much about autism, he has been accommodating and caring in other ways with me. Our surgery has a few GPs in the practice and if I can’t see my own GP, I go to one of the others but I avoid one particularly unpleasant GP. 

  • in reply to ArchaeC

    I think all my school reports said variations of 'could do better', especially maths and sport, which I was always useless at and still am. It took me a long time to gain any self confidence, I think my confidence went up as my concern for what others thought went down.

    I think writing things down could help, but also going there with a pretty clear idea of what you would like them to do, sometimes it's obvious, like you have a chest infection, you need antibiotics, but often its not. Explaining what the problem is and asking if an x-ray or some further investigation is the right way forward can help, it helps to create the idea that looking after your health is something you share with your doctor rather than expecting them "make you better", what ever that means.