I guess my questions are
How have you accepted yourself whether you have a diagnosis or not?
Has anyone been able to open a dialogue back up with family members on the subject, after shutting down for years because their initial response was “no your not, there’s nothing wrong with you”
A brief bullet pointed background information as I tend to waffle
- I was blissfully unaware until 5 years ago
- burnouts occurred yearly after I started full time work at around 27 (late I know)
- I researched burnout, quick promotions and underachieving and stumbled across ADHD, I researched this all day and night for months outside of work, I then stumbled across autism reluctantly looking into it because of the self perceived sigma from myself around it.
- Again I researched both ADHD and autism day and night for 12-18 months I was slightly obsessed
- Confined in my partner, who I think was took a bit by suprise and said “no your not”. That was the first blow to my confidence around it, as I’d spent so much time researching it. she later come back to me weeks later after researching and said she thinks I may be.
- She encouraged me to get a doctors appointment into it, I did I went in there stating I think I have ADHD but there may be a slight possibility of autism.
- I got referral to an Autism waiting list, just over 3 years ago.
- after 18 months on the waiting list and struggling to fill my forms in, due to not asking my family. I plucked up the courage to ask, which was met with “there’s nothing wrong with you, you were a good kid” I think I always knew this was the response I would receive that’s why I held it off so long. That was the 2nd blow to my confidence and I’ve shutdown on opening up about my thoughts regarding the possibility now
- fast forward to today around 2 months ago, I got removed from the waiting list as 3 years had past and I didn’t have enough information to give to them.
- I believe I’m a very self aware person and I know deep down I’m neurodivergent. I’m going from strength to strength in my career and my personal life but I feel like that’s never going to be enough until i’m able to accept this part of myself and hope to get some understanding from family members, as they cant see just how much I struggle internally at times because I’m able to hide it/control it now before I reach a burnout stage.
Not having anyone you feel comfortable talking to about it, without feeling like you’re being judged makes you suppress it more I suppose.
