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Burnout after telling work about diagnosis

Lemon slice

Hello I'm new here,  was officially diagnosed in June this year, im 53 year old female, really high masking with demanding job. I got to point recently i wanted to tell work as I feel like im getting more and more autistic recently, I've read this is a thing that happens. Told my boss last week, she was really supportive, woke up the next day and felt like had hit a massive wall and been off sick since then. My manager did discuss me taking some time off but didnt think I needed this. I feel like im in burnout, I think I'd been having that convo either work in my head for 6 months and actually doing it has tipped me over the edge, ive been so tense about telling them - been there nearly 20 years and they know im a high performer but not quite sure at this point how ill be when i go back. Can anyone relate to this? And burnout is so horrible, hardly been able to function, the exhaustion is intense. It feels like i might be like this forever, my logical mind knows I probably won't be but part of me thinks I've just turned into a crumbling mess. 

  • Good morning from America Lemon slice!

    Phew, I thought from the title you might have hit burnout because the boss responded negatively to your diagnosis. That’s great to hear that she was supportive. Remember, the most important factor of being employed is COMMUNICATION. Now that your boss is aware of your diagnosis, make sure to keep them up-to-date on how you are feeling.

    If you need accommodations at work, one problem is not knowing what might help. So a tool I’ve used to see what can be asked for is the Job Accommodation Network. It’s an American site, but should still be helpful for UK as well. Basically you think of a problem that you may have in the office, then you pick the category that would fall under (like, say, executive functioning), then it lists a bunch of possible procedures/tools/etc that could help with that issue.

    I hope you feel better soon.

  • I am self employed but I can relate to the idea of burnout becoming much worse after discovering you are autistic, or getting diagnosed or telling someone important. I realised that I was autistic nearly a year ago after feeling burnt out for some years and not understanding why. I felt that discovering this and getting diagnosed (which I was in November last year) and talking to my wife about it all, would make things easier. In some ways it has, but  I have also had periods of feeling more burnt out than ever before. I find any level of stress hard to deal with ATM so I definitely sympathise with you on that. I am very thankful that I am self employed because, having had jobs in busy offices before, I think the wheels would have come off a lot earlier for me with the level of masking required for that. As it is, I spend a fair amount of my time working alone and, although I can find the job rather dull and tedious at times, being my own boss is a definite plus. I wish you all the best.

  • in reply to Lemon slice

    I am indeed still off work and, at the least, cannot continue in the role I do without material adjustments, something I will be exploring shortly with my employer and my GP. I was initially ill this time last year and, in hindsight, went back too soon. I managed well for a few months but my health deteriorated in the face of a number of stressors at work and home which were leading me to feel 'not good enough'.

    So here I am. I have done a lot of work on understanding myself and finding out how to build an authentic life. So I am hopeful and have some forward momentum putting foundations in place. We'll see what shape and size of work fits that emerging authentic life. 

    I wish you well, Lemon slice, as you continue to rebuild your health.

  • in reply to leveller61

    Hello, thanks for your response. That post is from start Dec, I just did what my body told me which was mainly major rest, ha suppose in burnout there isn't really a choice about that. Started getting bit better very gradually though probably just realising now coming back from burnout is a much longer process than thought. ive always been one for mindfulness done yoga and meditation for years, been doing somatic practices which have been really helpful. I went bsvk to work in Jan on phased return and was doing really well up until last week when a major stressor was put upon me in work (as nobody else had capacity to do it). It was way too much too soon, im now off again, but think this is shutdown due to that specific thing. I feel like can do about 80% of my role but not ready for the majorly stressful parts just now. Its just all so draining. Are you still off work? Do you think you can still continue in the role you do at work? 

  • Hi Lemon slice, I can relate to this too. I was AuDHD diagnosed in June at 59 and I am also now away from work with burnout. Like you, I am a regular high achiever and high-masking. For me, my employer was accepting of my diagnosis but my mask was slipping and I was finding it hard to be as productive and clear-thinking as before. I hit the wall in November and I agree that burnout is horrible - scary and debilitating. The advice I have received (and have been working through) is deep rest, mindfulness, doing a few things that bring joy and starting to build a more authentic life that nourishes me. I am making some progress. I know things will be different from before and I have come to accept that and be curious about it. I wish you well - practice compassion for yourself and trust that you will find your way back to better health.