The horrible past traumas are all rearing their ugly heads and tormenting and upsetting me etc. my self doubts and these various nasty voices are as loud as ever and I can’t focus or even sleep well. Also having nightly nightmares which leave me panicked, shocked, uneasy etc for like the whole day and then I get anxious with the thought of going to sleep.
Normally she (my mum) helps me with my techniques which involves mentioning the things that I like, but now once again she is mentioning this celebrity who she has a crush on and she thinks I also have a crush on him. I never have but I’m scared to say anything she ends up saying stuff like “why don’t you like him” or something. I’ve tried saying he’s not a nice person IRL, I’ve even freaked out when she mentions him, I’ve tried changing the subject or not showing interest when she mentions him but all to no avail. I’ve even tried to drown her out when she mentions him but then she says this “isn’t like me”.
I mean I’ve had crushes before but omg I was never as obsessed and went on about them compared to my mum with this bloke.
If I'm struggling I’ll let her know and she replies to me whenever she can sending and talking about things I like. But now she has once again started sending this crush of hers and I don’t want to put up with seeing him but I also don’t want to not mention the stuff that does help me or even put that stuff away. I just don’t know how to get through to her and not upset her at the same time.
Sorry this has ended up being a long post, guess I just needed to get it off my chest. If anyone has any advice I’ll be grateful.
