Greeting & Farewell Etiquette - To kiss or not to kiss?

Ha! I do that too! It's all about getting your body into a position where the "hugger" has to traverse an obstacle course to get to you.

It's easier to do when leaving than when arriving. On leaving, I like to get to the front door first, then whoever I'm with follows and now I'm too hemmed in by the door to be able to hug goodbye to the hosts, so I just wave.

I dislike the hugging or kissing thing when people depart and arrive come to think of it. When I get cornered there is no escaping it but it doesn’t feel like the natural thing to do. I’m not a fan of people touching me with scratchy nails either as it send horrible shivers all through my body. A good tactic I use now is to hang back and walk into the hallway as the others are going through the door, that way I get to say goodbye and not appear rude but without the uncomfortable embracing.

I dislike being touched so I would prefer people did nothing and just said goodbye. I definitely wouldn't want someone to kiss me. But I'm aware others enjoy physical contact so I think it's about knowing the people that you are saying goodbye to and what they are comfortable with.

My work friend who left last month I got her a hobby horse as a leaving gift she hugged me as she loves horses and infact left to work with horses on her last day after we locked up I litterly hugged her and said im Gunn have to go now before I cry … yeah I litterly sobbed when I got back home luckily we go keep in touch but it’s never going to be the same as spending 8 hours with that person 

I used to hug a lot but I found if the other person doesn’t like hugs it’s awkward so only hug people who’ve hugged me now and it’s only people im Super close to 

The thing is, there is a quite new friend on the scene and I really do appreciate the closeness of a nice hug and even cheek kiss with her. The problem is that my wife, who is also very fond of the new friend, doesn't like me kissing the friend's cheek/head/forehead. In fact, it has become a real issue in our marriage, with my wife insisting that there be no more kissing, whereas I don't see why it would be an issue.

For context, the "new friend" is in fact our yoga teacher and we have been going to her classes for a year or so. More recently, in the past couple of months, we have grown closer with the three of us spending time outside of yoga class (walking, coffee, lunch) a couple of times and we intend to continue. I have also helped the friend with home maintenance on a couple of occassions. My wife and I are very fond of the friend, but my wife does feel threatened by the situation. I must admit that things I have said about the friend haven't helped the situation, such as wanting to take her away for a weekend...oops! As far as I am aware, and as he friend has prevously intimated, she is not interested when I told her that I REALLY like her (I was not trying to get into her knickers!), all it is and can be is close friendship.

It also doesn't help that the friend is in the same age bracket as us and is recently divorced.

Don’t feel that you have to do anything you don’t want to do. I liked that Covid stopped people immediately going in for kiss on the cheek thing but then it started again. I just put my hand out for a hand shake ahead of time now to stop them. Don’t mind hugging people I know. 

CONSENT!

&  for you tooDamojo 

Jeeze! Get a room, you two!

"I love tight hugs, especially if I'm feeling a bit stressed and overwhelmed.
I've found from experience that I seem to be in the minority with this."

This is exactly where I am at - I feel that tight hugs with close friends demonstrates a connection, that both of you care and value the friendship. Don't get me wrong, I don't go around hugging (and kissing) just anyone! 

Depending on the experience that I have had with the person, I may give them a small kiss on the head, forehead or cheek. For example, if I have shared a vulnerable moment or experienced anxiety during our time together and the friend has been especially supportive, I might view such a gesture as a sign of appreciation.

I totally understand that for some ND's, even the idea of hugging and kissing can be extremely uncomfortable, and that's completely fine.

You're also a citizen of this community, so your opinion definitely does count.

And I agree - definitely no kissing with friends and aquaintances.

I love tight hugs, especially if I'm feeling a bit stressed and overwhelmed.

I've found from experience that I seem to be in the minority with this.

I have never thought to add a kiss into the mix. Personally I feel like that would be too much. 

Maybe there is a North/South divide on this?

I prefer a handshake if physical contact has to be made, if it's someone I know well then it's different and I don't mind either hugs or kisses, but never air kissing, that's just weird!

I don’t like close contact with people so I don’t initiate a kiss or hug, but I would reciprocate. The only exception is when I visit a very old lady who uses a wheelchair. I know she expects a peck on the cheek, so I oblige. Strangely, that doesn’t seem to be a problem for me, perhaps because I know what is expected and I am in control. 

Absolutely NOT. (I’m from America, so my opinion does not count in this matter.)

I don't initiate, but I do reciprocate. I do not feel that I necessarily know whether a kiss or hug is appropriate, so I let the other person decide. I'm usually happy to go along with whatever they find is appropriate. I have only ever kissed a total stranger once, it was on New Year's Eve. I felt constrained when asked, but it did feel a bit invasive of my person. In general, I find physical contact with strangers unpleasant.

I've always tended to wait for the other person to initiate the action and then just gone along with it, no matter how awkward I felt about it. It's rare that I find it pleasant. What can you do, though? It's one of those areas where masking is probably the easier option. Let them just do it and get it over with; it's easier than trying to explain why you don't want to.