My assessment looms...trying to figure out how I mask!

That’s a brilliant idea. Maybe when you are a little more familiar with the assessor you could do some with them on your own.

i probably won't see them again but i am taking my partner who I probably do mask a lot around! I didn't realise it would be preferable to take someone until recently. I may ask to do some of the interview alone!

oh yes - they got a huge bundle delivered by recorded delivery back in February :-/

I had endless lists by the way. Have you sent them over to your provider? It’s definitely worth doing that in my opinion. 

I think it’s important to remember that you won’t ever see these people again. Also try to tell yourself it’s okay to show them your unmasked version. 
I totally get this as I worried about the same things in the same way, I’m 3 weeks on from my diagnosis and looking back I was very much unmasked which really surprised me. I think all the stress and anxiety building up months before enabled me to not only not care but I was so distressed throughout the assessment it was very clear to see. I was honest about how anxious I was and even shared that I had a compulsion to straighten all the kitchen cupboards and paced round the house looking for things to do as I couldn’t bare to sit still and fester. 
I am sure you will be fine, just remember they have no expectation of you and it’s fine to just be yourself.

I wish you luck

i love this - thank you. Also thank you Autismman for your response. I will try very hard to give myself permission to relax :-) 

Maybe, between now and the assessment: try to prioritise good self-care routines (eat good things regularly, drink enough water, sleep as best you can, exercise outdoors, relax your preferred ways, have some frivolous fun, do your hobbies and pastimes, etc.) - so you can bring as much of your energy as possible to the assessment appointment.

During the assessment; try to remember that they are not there to judge you, instead they are trying to work out if / to what extent support might be relevant to you. 

As much as anything, your mission during the assessment: is not to worry how to fit in with your perception of societal norms.  Rather, it is your opportunity to show someone who you really are and for you to tell them about your life experiences stories to date (both the good and the not so good - as an Autistic person's experience of enjoyment and challenges are equally valid and helpful for the assessor to appreciate).

We don't all have awareness of when we are / to what extent we might be masking (the assessor will be aware of that possibility - so it is not your responsibility to worry about that issue).

As much as anything, if they assess you match the various criteria of an Autistic person, they are then trying to fine-tune their understanding of how your particular presentation / experience of Autism as it impacts your engagement with the World. 

With that in mind, the assessor may seem to ask some slightly strange questions - which are probably best taken at your first impressions value (and not overthought too much with composing your reply).

With all good wishes for your assessment experience.

Perhaps you are best of just simply saying to them that you are concerned that you may mask during the assessment and this has been a big worry of yours and it’s caused you a great deal of stress even before the assessment? I would imagine this is a highly common worry for a lot of people going into an assessment. I was concerned about mine but I focused on their questions. The situations we worry about are never as bad in reality. 

Thank Stuart333 - I will try not to worry (in between trying feel like i might risk blowing a good chance to get answers by being unprepared!). Hopefully they'll see what they need to see :-)

I've mentioned this a few times, they may well be able to see through your mask. It depends on the experience of the people doing it but they should have some ability.

I thought I was normal, but they were pretty sure before we even started the formal process, which I didn't know and is a bit extreme. I was worried, but my therapist had said not to be, but I still could not believe it till I got the result.

When talking to them I tried to just say what I thought without worrying about them. I focussed on giving my best and accurate answer. I did not look at them much while answering so they did not influence my answer. I looked up occasionally so I knew when to stop, else it would've been a monologue. Perhaps my therapy sessions beforehand had broken my fear of just talking. They also put me at ease.

Don't try to guess what they want to hear. Just say what you think is true.

Remember it is not just what you say, but how you say it, the body language, the type of words, the sentences and topics. You can't mask it all. The range of topics means you won't be able to predict it all and the cracks will show.

I know you will ignore me, but try not to worry.