Seeking Insight and Support – Possibly Autistic, Struggling with Longstanding Challenges

Hmm.

What does "professional help" being inadequate entail exactly? (I'm assuming that by the term you mean therapy of some kind.)

What do you mean by "move forward" in this context?

What do you mean by "support" in this context?

Is the idea here that you speculate what causes Barney's goal in getting "identified as autistic" is: a) a belief that there is some relevant analogy between a broken leg and a neurodivergence, b) it probably opens up avenue for "support" (I never know what people mean by that word in the context of ASD), c) emotional comfort, d) therapists will spend last time asking questions during a session (?)?

(Well, I frame it as a speculation, but you might be thinking of it as an induction of some kind.)

Hi and welcome to the community.

There are articles on this website (in the advice and guidance section) that you may find helpful. The two books that I found most useful were "Am I autistic?" By Lydia Andal and "A field guide to Earthlings: an autistic/asperger view of neurotypical behaviour" by Ian Ford.

you can also ask us any questions you may have.

Knowing you have a broken leg does not fix your leg.

Being diagnosed for ASD does not fix you or automatically make things different. It is just knowledge.

It may allow you to access some support if you obviously need it, but mostly it is for you.

What you do with the information is up to you.

You may stop being so hard on yourself, you may start to pay more attention to what things are causing stress, you may try change stuff to avoid burnout or depression, you may realise you have problems and seek help,. But you still need to push yourself a bit. As an adult no one is going to do stuff for you. People can help but you need to take the first step.

It can also inform therapists who may then be able to help more and not just make things worse.

So a diagnosis can change everything and nothing, it is up to you.

I feel clarity would be helpful.

- Any professional help I have sought in the past has been woefully inadequate. 
- I have changed my life in a number of ways (eg no alcohol) but it doesn't improve the fundamental issues
- Right now, I feel completely lost as what to do next. Maybe things will always be this way and I need to learn to accept that. 
- But It seems to me that understanding if I am Autistic or not at least allows me to try and move forward in finding solutions or support

If by "identify If you're autistic" you mean raise your credence that you meet most of the ASD diagnosis criteria, then I'd be curious as to whether you know the cause as to why you have that goal.

Being formally diagnosed did not change my life in any way. Everything is still the same undesirable mess.

Hi Barney and welcome to the community!

Many of us here are "late realised" and/or "late diagnosed", so you're in good company! :)

For a general introduction to the various aspects of autism, along with links to learn more about both the types of difficulties we can experience, and some strategies that we can use to help us cope better, I'd suggest starting here:

NAS - What is autism?

In respect of potentially seeking a formal diagnosis, I'd suggest reading through the resources in the NAS's diagnosis hub, which cover all stages of the process. For example, these articles (from "Before diagnosis") might be particularly helpful at this point:

NAS - Signs that a child or adult may be autistic

NAS - How to request an autism assessment

For those living in England, the second article includes information about Right to Choose (RTC), which enables access to private assessment providers who might have shorter waiting lists than the NHS, but with your referral and assessment still fully funded by the NHS.

You mention having already completed some online tests. The NAS articles include links to some screening questionnaires that you can complete, to get a better idea of whether your suspicions might be correct. However, you might prefer to use the website below for this. It includes some very useful commentary for each questionnaire, and enables them to be completed online (with scores calculated for you), saved as PDFs and - if the results support your suspicions and you decide to seek a formal diagnosis - printed off to take with you to the GP.

The AQ-10 or AQ-50 seem to be the most frequently used / required by GPs in support of NHS referrals (including via RTC). (RAADS-R might also be helpful, although some recent research has thrown doubt on its validity as a screening tool):

Embrace Autism - screening tests

Barney said:

For example, a close friend recently came to visit, and I had a hard time managing managing my behaviour and emotions. In the past, I would have chalked it up to depression and/or anxiety. But now, I can see elements of Masking, Burnout, and Shutdowns.

You might also find these NAS resources helpful, including the strategies suggested in the first one:

NAS - Autistic fatigue and burnout

NAS - Meltdowns

NAS - Masking

The information on the embrace autism website is very useful.

There is some info on here as well (I expect someone else will post some links).

You can also look to YouTube for info too. There are some good content creators.

It’s a really positive thing that you possibly finding new insights into why you struggle with certain things. There is a wealth of information online and on YouTube and instagram about autism - so just take your time and keep looking at a wide range of different experiences of people with autism. The best people to learn from are people who are autistic themselves in my experience. Good luck!