Who else was bullied in high school?

I too was bullied frequently at school, mainly mocked and ridiculed though occasionally physical such as having my hair pulled and being spat on.

I remember hating playtimes and PE lessons unless my couple of friends were around. Whenever I was alone during playtime I'd spend the time in the school library which was a lot quieter than the playground. Thankfully, I rarely needed to use the toilet as that was something else I hated doing. 

One of the many examples is on an almost daily basis I'd have a couple or group of pupils (usually boys) walking past me and joking with each other (in reference of me) saying: "there's your girlfriend!" and laughing.

I was introverted, had the most uncool bags and wore the most uncool clothes on non uniform days, had unruly hair no matter how many times I brushed it (and yes, I was told by other kids that I had messy hair and was asked if I brushed it this morning), and was submissive. So I was a great target for bullies.

Many haven't aged well. Many peaked in school.

Probably all divorced.

I wonder what's happened to all those popular kids and those of us who were at the bottom of the heep and bullied? I wonder if all the popular kids are bored, boring and have made little of thier lives, and if those of us who they bullied have become nicer and more rounded human being's, we might not rich and famous, but are kinder and maybe more fulfilled?

On the totem pole, I was near the bottom. Popular enough to be allowed friends (no one would become an outcast for being my friend) but only barely. I was beaten, spat on, mocked and ridiculed and any of my possessions I didn't keep in sight would be stolen and thrown away. I had no illusions about my status. I was bullied.

Strangely I was targeted even more than many of the kids lower on the totem pole than me, probably because my reaction to their torment was more consistently fun for them. Other unpopular kids stayed quiet and hid. I reacted. I was bullied from age 13 to 18 and I'm a different person because of it.

Now that I think about it. All the unpopular kids that the popular kids took great enjoyment tormenting, I think they were all Autistic.

You are older than me, I'm 32 but I spent a lot of my time socializing in my twenties completely wasted, I would drink to excess to remove my anxiety and project confidence. I don't drink anymore after realizing it was making me more anxious in the long run and was seriously clouded my judgement. 

I wonder if this is a common experience amongst autistic people. 

Sounds like you have a lovely family and dogs and you're going to therapy which is fantastic!

I could have wrote this myself, honestly - my hair is big and curly, I wasn't interested in dressing fashionably, I hated make up and I was obsessed with High School Musical, Twilight and Harry Potter (it was the noughties!) 

Oh my! My co-ordination was appalling, still is so PE was hell on earth, all girls school as well, hockey was brutal with girls hitting each other on the legs with the sticks! 

That's so sad, you realize as you get older that bullies themselves often have complex mental health problems.

Don't apologize, not too much info at all!

It seems that the experience is across many countries. Honestly, my heart goes out to you, it has been 16 years since I left high school and I still think of it often. Let me tell you though, things will get better, there are so many other people out there like you and the older you get the more you lean into the things that make you different. 

Yes, I get this too, especially around women my age, it takes a long time to trust them, I guess it's a hang up left over from school!

Aw bless you, I'm sorry you were put through that but I am so glad to hear that your friends are still in your life now! Sixth form was much better for me too, I met a gang of fellow weirdos!

I suspect the greater proportion of us here were. My life at secondary school was absolute hell - not only was I neurologically different (which I have just found out at 49 to be autism), but I was really small until I was 15, and I had all sorts of braces for dental issues. Those included one which linked my top and bottom jaw together, with just a slot to speak through. Combine that with a complete lack of sporting ability and a mother who always bought me the most uncool bags, coats etc., and I was the primary target.

It got bad enough I could have had half a dozen other students expelled - I was found by a teacher, folded double and stuffed in a bin, on top of a filing cabinet, in an unlit store cupboard with no handle on the inside of the door. I think the mental torment of always watching my back and wondering what would happen next were worse than the physical action.

Thankfully, when we moved up to 6th form, all the cool kids had the main common room, and all the weirdos, misfits and outcasts like me made another room our home. That was the first time I didn't feel alone at school. Thirty years on, I'm still in touch with most of that little gang, who probably saved my life. 

Same for me. School days were the worst of my life, nothing else even comes close to being as bad for me.

Yes I was bullied at secondary school big time, every single day. Name-calling, sometimes physical bullying like having my hair pulled by the other girls and my bag tipped up and emptied. Teachers never did a thing about it. I started school with low confidence and by the end of my first week there I had zero confidence. Really was the worst time in my life.

One of the hardest things is that the effects of being bullied have followed me into my adult life. I have complex social anxiety, I’m afraid to be around people, and I always feel instantly suspicious if somebody is nice to me as if they are about to suddenly turn horrible, as happened to me during my times at school.

School was the worst. It’s a piece of my life I wish I could forget.

Stuart333 said:

Fortunately I chose to be uncool rather than do less well.

I wish I'd done the same!

Stuart333 said:

Were you pushed by your parents?

No, not at all. Maybe that’s why I ended up acting the way I did. It was probably also a way of trying to get their attention.

I believe its getting only worse. In my times there were no social media and still kids could be very aggressive.  Now it's much worse. Narcissism and violence, that is being published in the social media. So many young people unalived themselves because of that. Sad. I'm happy I'm out of school already but sad that my family still does not acknowledge how i struggled and still have Trauma. In my case it was not only lack of cool clothes and gadgets.  I was different,  my behaviour was different,  there was the clumsiness,  stimming, inability to understand jokes, irony etc. I had some thoughts,  that I am kinda a bit disabled,  but nobody saw that.

It is if you're privileged and one of the 'chosen ones', ie the cool crowd. The ones who all dress the same and all have the same bag, are good at sports etc, and if you don't have the right bag, coat, shoes, Stanley cup, etc then you're cast out and actively victimised and attacked.

This is still happening. I have little faith it will ever change as long as social media trends and influencers are a thing.

I think you will indeed have a hard time in finding any autistic person who didn‘t experience bullying at some point. I‘ve always hated being told to „enjoy this part of my life“ because „it‘s the best time ever“. No! I know that there are people who have it much worse than me, but still… If this was the best part of my life, I don‘t think I want to live it. Fortunately, I rarely believe arguments without evidence.

Oh cool! I hope you settled in well enough her in Germany, even though the language is rather… interesting and (I imagine) frustrating to learn. Yes, I do indeed live in Germany and was even born and raised here. Eine richtige deutsche Kartoffel also Thanks for sharing your more experienced perspective! I also found that comparing myself to the criteria helps to understand that part of myself, which ultimately leads to me being less effected by bullies or rudeness in general since I have a possible explanation for all of those things I believed to be „my fault“ and „wrong“.

Same I never understood how the school years could be the best.