struggling to cope with my sisters behaviour

hi! it’s my first time posting somewhere like this so apologies if it’s not great haha! i’m 18 and my little sister is 16, she was diagnosed with autism when she was 14. when we were younger we were quite close and got a long well but since we both became teenagers we got more distant, and for the last few years whenever my sister has meltdowns she calls me ugly, disgusting, says i should die, will hit me or punch me, will stand outside my bedroom and wait for me so she can hurt me and it’s gotten quite exhausting. i try not to react but sometimes i do because it does upset me, although i’d never physically hurt her. 

i do understand that these meltdowns are not easy for her or my mum sometimes i feel like she just takes it all out on me becuase she gets in far less trouble then she would saying or doing this to my mum. whenever i speak with my mum about it i get told i shouldn’t talks bad about my sister or that i’m being unfair. 

i try my best to be fair because i know she must struggle with things i don’t fully understand but i get bruises and it destroys my confidence when i try and look nice and she calls me every name imaginable. 

i was just wondering if anyone has any advice about how to make my mum take me a bit more seriously or how i could prevent my sister from behaving like this to me, thank you for reading!! Slight smile

Parents
  • Dear faywww,

    Thank you for sharing your experience with the Online Community. I am really sorry that you are struggling to cope with your sisters behaviour. 

    Domestic violence or abuse can happen to anyone. Find out how to recognise the signs and where to get help from the NHS Domestic Abuse Helplines: https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/ 

    The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge) provides support for women experiencing domestic abuse. Open 24 hours per day, every day.  

    • Telephone: 0808 2000 247 

    You can find your local Victim Support service by searching online for ‘[geographical area/local police force] + ‘victim support’.   

    In addition, you may find it helpful to visit the National Autistic Society Advice and guidance page about behaviour. Some autistic people can display behaviour that can have a negative impact on the person or their family. Our website has lots of links to pages with strategies to try and information on getting support: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour 

    You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory: https://www.autism.org.uk/directory   

    You might also like to take a look at The Challenging Behaviour Foundation website for further information and advice:  https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk    

    I hope this is helpful to you. 

    Kind regards,
    Rosie Mod

Reply
  • Dear faywww,

    Thank you for sharing your experience with the Online Community. I am really sorry that you are struggling to cope with your sisters behaviour. 

    Domestic violence or abuse can happen to anyone. Find out how to recognise the signs and where to get help from the NHS Domestic Abuse Helplines: https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/ 

    The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge) provides support for women experiencing domestic abuse. Open 24 hours per day, every day.  

    • Telephone: 0808 2000 247 

    You can find your local Victim Support service by searching online for ‘[geographical area/local police force] + ‘victim support’.   

    In addition, you may find it helpful to visit the National Autistic Society Advice and guidance page about behaviour. Some autistic people can display behaviour that can have a negative impact on the person or their family. Our website has lots of links to pages with strategies to try and information on getting support: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour 

    You may be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory: https://www.autism.org.uk/directory   

    You might also like to take a look at The Challenging Behaviour Foundation website for further information and advice:  https://www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk    

    I hope this is helpful to you. 

    Kind regards,
    Rosie Mod

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