What makes you feel autistic

Anxiety

Masking

Burnouts

Stimming

Meltdowns

Obsessions

Sensory issues 

Miscommunication 

Inability to engage in smalltalk 

Feeling better by myself than with others

I'm irritated by loud noises too, like the little girl over the hedge who has the most ear splitting scream imaginable, I come in when the kids are out there playing, which means I can't use my garden at weekends or in school holidays, I have to have the doors shut too as I can hear her at the other end of my house.

I felt intense anxiety and catastrophic thoughts after something happened at work. I phoned 111 for emergency mental health help and explained how I was feeling and everything else. The nurse said she strongly believes I was going through autistic burnout. I cried my eyes out as it suddenly all made sense. I was feeling so tired both mentally and physically. I was irritated by loud noise but couldn't show it because of my line of work.

I come closest to meltdown in crowded, noisy spaces – trains, planes, buses, pubs, etc., etc. Too many people too close to me. Multiple conversations and other noises that become an unbearable wall of sound making me want to curl up, cover my ears, and shut down.

I've never been on a plane but I went on a train last month and it was an awful experience. It was busy, noisy and the person stood opposite me was on the phone the whole journey, talking non-stop at the top of his voice. I did have my ear buds with me, that helped a bit.

When I finally got off the train I had to sit on a bench on the platform and took a breather for 5 mins so I didn't get overwhelmed and meltdown. I don't like travelling really, I only do it when I have to and when I do, I drive if I can.

So many things tbh. Some of the biggest things

• Forgetting to eat and drink
• Being constantly misunderstood
• Masking to fit in
• Unable to successfully socialise and make "small talk"
• Having meltdowns when I go out

A little good thing that makes me feel autistic is obsessing over my special interests. Probably has to be one of my most favourite things with being autistic. I can watch, read and talk about my interests repeatedly for hours and days. I love this.

I agree me too

Im the same as you Kate, im at war with my mind alot and I have triggers from everyday life which can cause me to self harm. It's mentally very draining and hard to cope with 

Public transport. In order of worst to least worst: Planes (if travelling alone I have to get assistance), Trains, and buses. I pretty much refuse to use taxis except when booked through work or by my uni. 

Also, uncertainty or changing plans. Makes me feel very very autistic.

This is something I do too.

Being misunderstood verbally attacked and unable in the moment to effectively respond/defend myself/explain, instead reacting and then planning what I should have said even years later and being upset at how I'm wrongly perceived. 

Agreed again completely. Thank you.

Exactly. I think it’s a process of gradual change and with regular practice we can reduce our habitual distress. Whilst we still suffer ( it’s a part of life after all to experience difficult emotions)  we can find more effective ways of handling our suffering. Like you mention I have also found Buddhism has given me some helpful approaches to dealing with feeling overwhelmed, anxious or depressed. I still struggle a lot but I do feel I’m not completely without things that genuinely help. I’ve realised that a lot of our problems come from attachment, aversion and struggling with change and impermanence. So the ways to counteract suffering caused by these things is to do the opposite: practice letting go, staying with difficult emotions instead of running from them (in various ways), and accept impermanence - because everything changes eventually and it helps to understand that and try to accept it. Easier said than done but I do feel this is the best approach. 

Agreed. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (and Buddhism) teaches us to notice our thoughts and feelings as they happen, and observe them from a mental distance, as a scientist might do when observing an experiment. So we notice the feeling of sadness instead of being sad. It can help us to ground and rationalise instead of being consumed. It will always pass eventually.  This gets easier with practice.

Yes. I’m sorry you experience this too. Life can feel just too much to cope with sometimes. This feeling always passes though - I find the challenge for me is to learn to try to tolerate that feeling of overwhelm. 

I can relate to a lot of this, especially the suicide ideation if things get tough all at once.

If I had to sum it up I would say that I find so many aspects of life incredibly challenging. Firstly: being around people other than my very close family is very stressful for me. Dealing with anything unexpected is a nightmare. I worry about virtually everything. I have loads of sensory issues - touch, sound, smell. I soon feel overwhelmed by problems and can suddenly switch to suicidal thoughts in a heartbeat if I am feeling I can’t cope (though I know this is just because I want to ‘escape’ feeling so terrible - I definitely don’t want to die). To be happy I need a very very quiet and peaceful life. I don’t trust other people and can be very paranoid. I realise this all sounds like a bit of a nightmare - and in many way it is. Having said that I’m very creative and I feel a deep connection to nature that brings me so much happiness. So it’s not all bad. But I won’t lie : it’s far from easy. 

My answers to "What makes you feel autistic?"

The nerves I experience before doing anything with a social element, and the way I shut down during such a thing is a very strong reminder of my autistic ways.

When I'm going on about a topic I realise that the person I'm talking to lost interest a good few minutes ago and it finally clicks to me that I'm boring them, in that moment I also "feel autistic".

But, I'd also like to share a couple positive examples:

When someone tells me "I got up at X time today to drag myself to the gym, wow it's super difficult, I definitely couldn't do it every day" - I've done it almost every single day for three years - my obsession with routine allows for me to be superbly consistent when it comes to self-improvement.

My attention to detail often allows me to pick up on things that others haven't noticed, especially when it comes to looking at technical problems from a different angle in the workplace.

I don't like a lot of what passes for humour, I can't stand watching people being humiliated or humiliating themselves, it just makes me cringe.

A lot of it just goes over my head because what they're talking about are things that don't happen in my world, like going on the tube, or dating apps, I don't know where the nearest tube station to me is, but I'd have to go to another country [England} to find one and dating apps I have no interest in at all.

And thank you for sharing yours. I can relate and it's much appreciated.