What makes you feel autistic

Hi 

I am an officially diagnosed autistic adult myself and I can honestly say I can relate so much. For me, it's things like... I always have to have every part of my day planned out even on days when I'm just at home. For example, I always have my meals at a specific set time and on Saturday night when my favourite shows are on which my parents watch with me I always have a set time to start watching but I end up getting upset or frustrated if they started watching something that goes on far too long over the time frame I had set a watch schedule for. For me, even the smallest of details of my daily schedule needs to be set and any sudden changes to that schedule leave my completely and utterly distressed. 

Another example is that it's one of my friends birthdays soon and she had organised that whole weekend to do some partying. Now my best friend she is so lovely and very understanding, she very aware that I can get overstimulated and suffer from burnout so she said if there was at any moment during any of the days during the weekend where I start to feel I've had enough then I can just call it quits and just go home and recharge, which I appreciated very much. But now I have a slight dilemma. So, there was a set plan for the day of her actual birthday, mainly the restaurant we are going to eat and where we going to go for some karaoke. It all sounded great as it was places that were not only close to home but places/environments that I was familiar with. But just suddenly she announced out of the blue that one part of the plan had changed. The restaurant plan is still the same but now she's announced she fancied going somewhere else for karaoke... and the places she's been thinking about are places that I've never been before and that are quite a bit away from home (which makes me angry bit nervous as one of my biggests fears is long car journey home in the dark). It's making my anxiety levels spike a little. I understand that it's HER birthday and she can do whatever she wants but I am scared that if she ends up choosing a place which like I said that i am unfamiliar with and is too far from home for me to travel back once it started to get dark, that I would end up disappointing her if I said I didn't want to go

Don't worry I'm not going to bother you by asking for advice or anything but I guess my point is I understand your struggle, I know you're pain. I do worry that things like this paint me in a negative light as that's not what I want to do as I hate the idea of accidentally offend people or something like that. Anyways thanks for sharing your story

Exactly. I'd rather be labelled a weirdo than be called normal. It makes you sound two-dimentional, flat. F*** that!

"I'm 3D on an Imax screen, with Dolby surround sound and you're a tinny little out-of-tune radio playing the shipping forecast!"

I was thinking of a scene from the film Withnail & I. Danny, the dtug dealer, is talking about a friend who was on trial (for possession, I think it was). Standing in the dock, he was wearing a kaftan and beads, the usual hippy garb. The judge criticised his attire, to which the friend said, "And you think you look normal, your Honour?"

Headhunter says, "The c**t gave him 3 years!" 

Always the way. It's a fleeting moment to them before it's forgotten. For the person the words are aimed at, it's stays for a long time.

I try to say to myself, "one of these days, they'll say that sort of thing to the wrong person and get knocked out!"

"Yes, there is something wrong with me and you'll realise what that is once I leave you for dead, you c**t!"

I can't stand violence, but if I'm not doing it and the other person deserves it, I'll turn a blind eye.

Toxic masculinity is unfortunately still alive and thriving. The cycle continues.

I have a tattoo on my forearm with the infinity symbol that says "Define Normal" on it.

I was bullied in a verbal way at school. It hurts, but if you told an adult (like a teacher) and you need to feel like a softie, a crybaby: "grow some backbone, lad!"

W**kers!

More often than not, people don't really think that way. I was told by somebody that I was weird, but then they went to say how being so-called "normal" is boring anyway. I appreciated that. It's a positive way of looking at it. I like things out of the ordinary, so it's good to be weird.

The ones that really think you're weird are not worth your time, or so I've discovered 

I'm a casual sports fan (Olympics, World Cup) but I not at all sporty. I lack the competitive nature.

I remember hearing one of the men at my previous job say out loud "There's something wrong with him" after I'd had a disagreement of some sort. I can't remember what led to it, but it's never left me.

I often feel that the humour wasn't worth it anyway. I don't get NT humour and it's often either not funny or cruel.

I feel autistic when people I was at university with make jokes that go totally over my head. I got exam results just as good as them but their humour is light years ahead of me.

I am not diagnosed, so I'm always thinking about how it feels.

I guess, it just feels crap because I rarely feel like I'm understood and that I'm self absorbed! Other than that, I feel kinda "normal" but things do get me down on a regular basis.

However, when I was younger (and autism meant being non-verbal and having an extraordinary talent) I just felt like everyone thought I was a weirdo.

i don't think anything makes me feel particularly autistic, I just get annoyed with people who can't/won't communicate properly, or will only do it one way, which excludes me and others, like whatsapp or facebook. I know I'm unusual in not having them, but it does feel like some sort elitism and the patronising attitude makes me want to slap them and tell them they're still talking to an adult, not a two year old.

I get fed up when I go to a shop and get told to get my size or whatever online, I mean whats the point of them being there? All these shops seem to be thier own worst enemies, they want us on the high st, but then make it impossible to purchase what you want. I dont think that me being autistic, but them being stupid.

I don't like sport and get really fed up with my usual programs being messed about with because of it, but I know plenty of autistic sports fans out there, so it's not dues to autism, but my complete lack of interest in sport.

The second word is starred out by the profanity filter, but I'm really sorry about this. I'm currently talking about childhood and bullying in my therapy sessions. It makes me so mad that bullying is still a very regular occurrence in schools (my partner's son is autistic, has only just started secondary and he gets it a lot) and they STILL don't take it seriously enough. 

I really relate to this, and it's something I've stopped doing because I can't manage the logistics and overthinking of it anymore.

1. Where are we meeting
2. Will it be busy, noisy etc
3. Will the conversation be easy or awkward?
4. If I need to leave will I be able to without upsetting them?
5. Will I have the energy for the meeting anyway?

I used to ask people if they'd like to meet up for coffee, catch up etc, but the overthinking and energy required for it, and the possibility that I might need to cancel and appear flakey just isn't worth the hassle. I stick to online friends these days. It's a little sad that I can no longer find the energy for face to face friends but it's just easier this way. I've lost people along the way but that's the nature of life and autism I think.

I'm so sorry but can relate x.

You're amongst friends here :)

I feel autistic because I don't fit in with the rest of society, have an awful time trying to socialise and I can't tolerate much change without having a meltdown afterwards.

I also feel autistic when I notice small things that everyone else has missed. That's one of my favourite things about being autistic!

My difficulty in doing things, especially if they are new. I was recently asked by someone I see often if I wanted to meet for coffee, as she had a day off on a day I don't work. I had a difficult time running up to this, even though I had prepared in great detail. I actually had an enjoyable time, but the day before I wasn't sure if I would be able to do it the following day, due to my lack of energy.

At school, a very long time ago, the other kids called me a f****n s******c.

Really sorry to hear that. I more meant the things that you might struggle with like overwhelm, sudden change etc.

It's *** that we can't express ourselves in our own way without people being mean.