Weight Loss and Depression

I put on lots of weight when I was in my late twenties, lost it all in my thirties and then put it all back on again in my late thirties and early forties. I asked myself why this was happening and realised that for me fat is armour, whenever I feel that I'm being squeezed by the expectations of others and not allowed to take up the space I need in th world mentally and emotionally I put on weight so as I physically take up the space. When I feel respected and not pushed and squashed by others the weight just seems to disapear, I do eat les too of course. My trigger for this is being in a relationship, I realised everytime I've got in a relationship I put weight on, when I'm exiting a relationship or I'm single I lose the weight and not because I eat rubbish, but I feel less pressure to conform to someone elses dietry needs.

I wodner what other peoples weight loss/gain triggers are?

Hi and welcome back.

As you know, we are not allowed to post medical advice, but I am going to tell you my story and my thoughts and you can decide if t might help you.

When I was in my late 30s I put on a lot of weight, and at the age of 41 my doctor advised weight loss to try to help lower my blood pressure. She offered referral to a dietician, but as it would take weeks I said I would try to do it myself.

I tried a low fat diet for 2 weeks and gained a couple of pounds. Then I looked into low carb and thought it might suit me better. It did - I lost 20 pounds over 6 months. I did not do ultra low carb - I adapted the diet to my tastes and needs. This was what I ate:

Breakfast: All bran cereal

Morning snack: chunks of cheese with cherry tomatoes

Lunch: Ham or tuna salad with mayo

Afternoon snack: A handful of nuts

Dinner: Meat, fish or quorn with veg, and sugar free yogurt for dessert.

Once you have got to your goal weight you need to find out how to maintain it. You can try sweet potatoes instead of ordinary ones, and have fruit as snacks. Natural yogurt is good as it's high in protein & has good gut bacteria which helps weight loss.

Good luck!

Rule 6: No medical or legal advice. Do not offer medical or legal advice. Always seek professional help for these matters. Treat any medical or legal information shared as the opinion of the user who posted it and meant for general discussion purposes only. 


However, you do have a cooling off period after entering into a contract which is usually 14 days.  If you terminate now you should be able to do so without penalty.  I'd be cancelling any Direct Debit instruction accordingly.   Please speak to your local Citizens Advice for assistance too.  

I hope you don't feel too despondent about the weight management aspects upon which you sre working.

Maybe, pick one thing per week you would like to do more healthily, or one thing oer week you would like to learn how to cook.  Keep having a go at that until it becomes your new habit or skill.  It can be too overwhelming if you are trying to change / learn too many things all at the same time.

In my GP Practice if people need support with their weight management they are sometimes referred to an NHS approved programme for free (or with a discount).  In our NHS area their are 4 tiers of such weight management programmes.  Similarly, there are programmes to support people to avoid Type 2 Diabetes.  Some programmes are in person and others are online by Zoom or a similar online platform.  (I don't know if you have perhaps discussed anything like that with your GP).

It is good that you love food (that is an important life skill), but I totally support you that you don't want to spend a fortune.

This week, I am going to try this Vegan Chickpea Store Cupboard Curry for 2 portions.  (I am going to substitute a teaspoon of ground coriander for the fresh coriander - as I am not going to the shop for one ingredient I don't have.  Also, I won't buy a lime to use a 1/4 when I have one of those bottles of lemon juice in the fridge - I will use a couple of teaspoons of that instead of lime).  I know I have the other ingredients in the kitchen cupboard / freezer.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/storecupboard_curry_38647

It looks likely cheaper and healthier than a supermarket Ready Meal or Takeaway (I think some people would call it a "Fake-away" which needs to have a better terminology - as that sounds "less than" but I think the recipe looks promising and could be "better than" so perhaps "Best-away" sounds more enticing!).

What about you, is there something healthy you plan to experiment with cooking this week - which is new to you cooking / eating?

I sometimes (free) download healthy recipes (as PDFs) from the BBC Food website - I then have the recipe ingredients and quantities required to refer to on my smartphone in the supermarket and I can remind myself in the kitchen of what recipe step cones next in the process of making a dish.

Another reasonably priced way to learn, at your own pace, about cookery is to borrow a range of books from your local Library.  In case travel is a barrier; it is worth knowing that many of the recipe books at Libraries are now also available as eBooks via an app connected to your Library.  I hadn't realised that until recently - and I have found that more cost effective than physically travelling to our Library.

If I am going grocery shopping at a Town supermarket; I sometimes also check the book section of local charity shops for (now more affordable) hardback cookery books with step-by-step pictures - not just pages and pages of written instructions.  I found a "Good Housekeeping" large, reasonably priced cookery book in a charity shop (where you money is doing some good too).

One of the best kitchen items I bought to help with simple, nutritious, healthy, budget-friendly meals was a small litres-sized electric slow cooker.  They are energy efficient too - often not that different to running a lightbulb.  Not so much "cookery" as "assemble and chop ingredients", put it in, switch it on, come back later.

You e.g. chop up plenty of different vegetables / chicken legs etc., weigh out some dried lentils, add tinned chopped tomatoes, sufficient water, maybe some dried mixed herbs and a stock cube and switch it on for the number of hours in the machine's guidance booklet ...and later on enjoy your meal.

I regularly use my slow cooker to make e.g. soups, stews, curries, lentil or yellow split pea dal, chill con carne (or vegetarian chilli), beef mince or red lentil Bolognese sauce to serve with pasta, etc.

Robert Dyas (£10) or Argos (£15) often have a small sized, reasonably priced, slow cooker.  Our Salvation Army charity shop will also sometimes has a good condition and electrically inspected slow cooker for sale.

Sometimes I make a double quantity of an easy recipe I like and then divide the extra portions into useful amounts and freeze ahead for use another week.  Even better if the main vegetables in the recipe are in season at the moment - better quality, lower price, plus eating what is good that month naturally helps to bring a variety of nutrients to your diet.

I tend to put single or two-person portions in the freezer.  Many recipes using a slow cooker work well as freeze ahead meals (as long as the meat ingredient has not previously been frozen before - you can check the package to see if it has the snowflake symbol suggesting it is suitable to freeze at home).

I am a fan of a main meal plan for the week ahead (not every meal and snack, just your biggest meal of the day).  That way I can work out e.g. first portion of vegetable and tomato curry served with freshly cooked brown rice on one day, followed by the other portion two days later (plan once, shop once, cook 4 portions at the sane time, wash up once, eat two portions in that same week, put two portions in the freezer for an easy meal in two future weeks).

I cannot advise you about the contract situation you find yourself tackling (but Citizens Advice might be able to ask their duty Solicitor about how reasonable the contract terms are in your circumstances).

At the very least, I think you ought to explain to Liv that you need guidance suitable for a limited income budget.  If I were in your situation, I would take my time to compose a carefully worded email and send the message that way (rather than saying it in a face to face conversation). 

There are a couple of reasons for this.  It is good to have such an important dialogue "on the record", rather than having to rely upon a good conversation on the day plus everyone remembering the content further into the future.  In writing also gives you the opportunity (if you want it) to first work on refining a draft version with someone you trust in the real World - before you send it to your provider.

You particularly mentioned frustration when it comes to cooking - you are unlikely to be alone in this (whether Autistic or not) so the programme you have signed up to should expect that quite a proportion of their Clients would require motivation, education and support in that skillset area.  Maybe that could be something to tactfully raise in the second paragraph of your email to them.  Try and help them to better understand your current cookery skill level and aspirations to progress forwards.

There is quite a lot of assistance available, for free access, on the BBC Food webpages - including healthy eating on a more manageable budget and catering for different sizes of household or dietary requirements.

Here are a couple of recent article examples:

"The cheap, everyday foods that are just as good as ‘superfoods’":

https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/articles/nutrient_dense_budget

There is an article "How autism can affect your relationship with food" (which does also discuss disordered eating within the context of Autism):

https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/articles/autism_food_relationship

It is well worth experimenting with the above website search function (you can type in an ingredient you have and then filter the results to find relevant lists using "Filter by" then "All diets" and selecting "Healthy").

On the same main search bar, you can use word combinations such as  "budget" "healthy" to find collections of recipes to look through to find ones for which you already have suitable ingredients at home.

There are versions of the Eatwell guide available with tailored pointers suited to the needs of vegetarians, vegans and households from a range of cultural cookery too.

Here is the food item suggestions / proportions page supporting African & Caribbean cuisine:

https://www.fountainmedical.co.uk/2021/10/25/african-and-caribbean-eatwell-guide/

This blog includes information with South Asian cuisine in mind:

https://voicebmet.co.uk/home/2022/07/01/the-south-asian-eat-well-guide/

(You will notice: that manmade food products do not feature highly on any of the guide versions).

I am concerned to hear that you are feeling pressure to buy new expensive ingredients and protein powder on your current weight loss programme. 

Instead, I feel the emphasis ought to be upon guiding you on how to learn how to assess what you already have available in your kitchen cupboards / fridge / freezer - and then finding ways of making good healthy choices - towards an improved, nutritionally balanced meal plan for each week ...on a sustainable budget for you and your household.

The extra knowledge about healthy eating, suitable recipes and making a grocery shopping list to use when you go to the supermarket - should be about topping up your stocks of the healthy, natural, foods which you have eaten that prior week. 

From when I have engaged with a NHS weight management programmes; I would say you could learn a lot, for free, from the NHS  / UK Government endorsed Eat Well Guide materials:

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/food-guidelines-and-food-labels/the-eatwell-guide/

(I will break my reply into further sections ...to try and avoid anti-spam filter issues).