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‘Let it go’ how????

Ems

I have a really strong sense of justice and often struggle to see things in other ways. If I think I’m right about something there’s not much that can change my mind, but I am able to admit when I am wrong (reluctantly). 

I get told to ‘let it go’ a lot, especially on political and controversial topics. Something I’m really passionate about is animal rights and cruelty. I really struggle to let things go in a conversation when not only do I know I’m right, there’s actual evidence and facts to support that it is true. This keeps happening when I’m talking to my family. As it’s something I’m passionate about when it comes up in a conversation I try to educate them and it turns into an argument because I can’t let it go and can’t understand how they can’t see these facts and evidence as true and real? 

I then constantly think about it and get frustrated all over again. I hate it. Once someone has done or said something I don’t agree with it’s all I see in them. I really hate it. 

I feel like I’ve rambled a lot but I was just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to ‘let things go’ if that’s even possible for autistics 

Parents

  • "Many of the truths we cling to depend heavily on our own point of view" (Obi Wan Kenobi)

    The Belief Web: NT beliefs are symbolic, which is to say NTs generally think and believe in terms of culturally defined symbols... An assumption that "Beethoven is great" could exist in the mind of someone who has not come to that conclusion himself, but has picked up on the belief in the exact same way that he picked up the meaning of words as a child by hearing others use them. In that way, "Beethoven is great" becomes a cultural truth that is nearly universally accepted and rarely evaluated. (A field guide to earthlings by Ian Ford)

    NTs are also mostly influenced by people who are good at influencing others. Autistic people rarely have that skill. Even amongst autistic people there can be differences of opinion on what is true, for example some people might go vegan as their truth is that all farming of animals is cruel. But to others, even those who consider the facts dispassionately rather than following a cultural belief, their truth may be that it is ok to farm animals as we are naturally omnivores, as long as the animals are given sufficient food, water, shelter, space and health care and not treated cruelly.

    I understand your passion as I was a keen supporter of animal rights charities in the late 1970s - I signed petitions against animal testing and bought cosmetics from companies that didn't test on animals. But if people don't want to hear you, it's almost impossible to make them listen.

    My advice would be to hold true to your beliefs and be active in lobbying your MP about things your are passionate about and signing petitions, but try to accept that trying to make people believe your truths may cause more hassle for you than it's worth. If you want to have good family relationships, it's necessary to focus on what you have in common and allow for differences of opinion. 

  • in reply to Lotus

    Thank you for your advice. I generally try not to bring things up with people who I know don’t agree, but it’s hard not to comment and speak my beliefs when it’s brought up by them. 

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  • in reply to Lotus

    Thank you for your advice. I generally try not to bring things up with people who I know don’t agree, but it’s hard not to comment and speak my beliefs when it’s brought up by them. 

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