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Struggling as Mother’s Day is coming up

Rach91

It’s that time of year again Mother’s Day is approaching. I really struggle with it. On Sunday my friend Rikki is taking me to the beach where my mums ashes were scattered. I will put flowers down then let my dog have a run on the beach afterwards. As a joke I’m going to put a fake parking ticket on his car lol. But the issue is that every where I go Mother’s Day is advertised and I feel there no empathy for people like me who no longer have a mother or for the people who have a bad relationship with their mother or just for the people who grew up in care who never knew their mother. I can’t wait for it to be over and I feel I struggle with Mother’s Day the most as it’s advertised everywhere. 

  • I agree it is really in your face and can be quite triggering if you are grieving. But at the same time many people have and are mothers so the shops are going to make a big deal of it. My Dad passed away quite young, I used to avoid the seasonal aisle in the Tescos I worked at in June. I would take other routes between the staff areas and my checkout. I do like it that email subscription lists ask if you want to opt out now but they should’ve been doing that all along really, not just from 2020. Avoid the shops today and social media tomorrow. It will be Monday soon enough

  • in reply to Roy

    No offence taken.

    (I like to arrive suitably equipped to tackle ...any outstanding garden maintenance, DIY, measure up whatever for sourcing items for the next job of works, change over the Winter to Summer curtains, do the washing up, attend to the car ... basically, anything I can think off to be onsite ...but busy with a "legitimate" helpful task - which shows willing by attendance at the event ...but hopefully limits the amount of time getting drawn in to the inevitable chit-chat).

  • I’m struggling with it in a different way, I don’t mean to cause offence to people who have lost their mother. I don’t particularly get on with my mother. It’s been decided that there is to be a family gathering on Sunday to celebrate Mother’s Day, I know I have to attend and have an escape room planned , it’s causing me anxiety and making me withdraw from people in the build up to it. I suppose best masking skills will be needed. As I said I’m sorry for anyone who has lost their mother, I don’t mean to offend anyone.

  • Yep, it's awful if you've lost a parent or lost a child, or for childless people, too.

  • Rach91 said:
    I feel there no empathy for people like me who no longer have a mother

    That would be most people over the age of 50 I guess and many more whose mother passed away when they were younger.

    The marketing people are focussing on the positives - a reminder of those who have a mother still around to go and spent time with them, spoil them a bit and remind them that they are important to you.

    If they were to take into account those who may feel bad for not qualifying for the celebration then we would never celebrate anything I guess.

    Have you had any therapy to help you with the grieving process? It is not uncommon to get stuck with this always hurting when you think of them and a good therapist can help you process the grief and reach a better balance afterwards.

  • I struggle with Mother's Day as it's a bit commercial. It's the same with Father's Day.

    Some people I know lost their mum and dad recently. 

  • I don't want to be reminded of it, or Father's Day, or certain other events, but I don't see how it can be avoided. 

    I can probably sidestep the actual day, but it is the constant buy buy buy theme that you get leading up to it that there's little escape from. 

    Social media does make it worse, because you then have to read everyone you know telling all their friends how wonderful their relation is, and you can't block a certain type of post without blocking all that person's posts...      

  • I agree - I get emails asking if I want to be left out of mothers day emails to which I reply yes, but they've already reminded me of it and if I go on a website to order something I need it's all over it.

  • Sorry to hear about this annual struggle.

    I have noticed more businesses giving people the chance to opt out of receiving related marketing emails this year - so I think the sensitivity backlash is maybe making some inroads - but I think you are correct - it does generally seem more commercially vIsible in hospitality venues etc. these days.

    Spending some time enjoying nature outdoors sounds like a good idea.