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Does anyone have someone who fully understands and accepts them as autistic?

Roy

It’s just something I have been personally struggling with, I’m starting to realise how alone I am. It’s great to have you lot to ask questions and chat to, but in my everyday life I’ve stopped even mentioning autism, this is mainly with family. 
Being autistic I can cope with, after all I coped for 54 years before I new there was a name for how I function. Now I sound like them.

I may act ‘robotic’ a lot of the time but I do feel hurt, I feel guilt for being fussy about food, not really trying hard enough with people or work.  It’s hard to explain that I don’t need masses of friends or want to go out socialising. 
I find even with my wife and I know I’m lucky to have a partner that I’m generally not believed or am behaving badly. I could never share how much energy I use in just holding back shutdowns when I’m overwhelmed or show on the outside that I am overwhelmed.

I then think it’s my fault for masking so heavily for so long, my non stop internal voice then rightly tells me that it’s not my fault, I had to mask heavily to survive, it then tells me I should go back to masking more. I now feel I’m oversharing, this could be an autistic thing so I will leave it there.

So back to my original question, does anyone have someone who fully tries to understand and accept them without question?

Parents

  • I don't want to be dismissive or to break down your post into the blunt harsh realities of life as I see it in 2025, but I believe that as a general rule of thumb - people don't care to the level which you may be referring.

    Nobody seems to have the time to learn anything they didn't already know, or that doesn't affect them personally either, and that's a huge part of the problem.  They want instant answers, often with no depth.

    What's your issue   You reply you have Autism, and would (perhaps) rather like to elaborate - but the willing to hear the elaboration doesn't exist.  And it isn't just you.  This is my experience, and I feel it may be the driver behind that of others.

    Had you broken your leg, had an ingrowing toenail or an implant - well then, perhaps they'd compute.  A simple in or out procedure.  A fix.  But the technicalities of the human mind aren't up for debate for most people, especially if it isn't their minds they need to examine.

    It isn't your fault.  Actually it probably isn't theirs - although they could do with being more open-minded.  That is excepting those who you might expect more from if you are related and such.  Masking doesn't make it your fault, because they SHOULD be able to listen about masking too, but they'll not listen to that either. 

Reply

  • I don't want to be dismissive or to break down your post into the blunt harsh realities of life as I see it in 2025, but I believe that as a general rule of thumb - people don't care to the level which you may be referring.

    Nobody seems to have the time to learn anything they didn't already know, or that doesn't affect them personally either, and that's a huge part of the problem.  They want instant answers, often with no depth.

    What's your issue   You reply you have Autism, and would (perhaps) rather like to elaborate - but the willing to hear the elaboration doesn't exist.  And it isn't just you.  This is my experience, and I feel it may be the driver behind that of others.

    Had you broken your leg, had an ingrowing toenail or an implant - well then, perhaps they'd compute.  A simple in or out procedure.  A fix.  But the technicalities of the human mind aren't up for debate for most people, especially if it isn't their minds they need to examine.

    It isn't your fault.  Actually it probably isn't theirs - although they could do with being more open-minded.  That is excepting those who you might expect more from if you are related and such.  Masking doesn't make it your fault, because they SHOULD be able to listen about masking too, but they'll not listen to that either. 

Children
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