Conversation in my head

You can get some free stuff on Insight Timer as well regarding mindfulness and meditation. 

I talk to myself lots too and also plan things out loud as well…… I need to hear myself say it. 

Thank's Iain, this was something I covered quite a lot in my own theraputic journey and when doing counselling training. A lot of the unhelpful and critical voices are often those of a person, like a teacher, who was critical of us at a time when we felt we had no power or control, isolating this voice and doing things like empty chair exercises can help a person take back their power from this unhelgful and critical person and you can give back their opinions of you and this can help you to stop internalising unfair criticism.

It always surprises me, how many people don't know that self talk is normal, that almost everyone does it, that it's part of normal thinking. 'I'll just go and make that cake now, then I can clean the bathroom whilst its baking', is a normal sort of thought, but its as much self talk as telling yourself that nobody will like the cake you've made.

So many people are terrified that they have a serious mental health disease and tie themselves in knots trying to deal with it and not talk about it or fear of the reactions of others. How can we know so little about ourselves and that our normal processes? It's like theres some conspiracy of silence, where people seem unable to distinguish normal thoughts from ones telling them to murder prostitutes or build it an ark.

I spent so much time at uni, with my much younger friends reassuring them about things like this, from about 4-6:30pm everyday I'd have a procession of visitors often wanting to talk about things such as this. I think we spend so much time thinking about mental health, or rather mental ill health, that we forget whats normal and we risk pathologising the normal.

Sorry Flossie, this is all new to me so I don't know. I have assumed it is.

I'm the same, talking out loud all of the time. I often don't realise that I'm doing it, that is until someone looks at me funny!!

It's either just talking through what I'm doing/need or want to do, or sometimes it's a conversation I'm going to have (like a practice run)

Like you number, I really don't care what people I don't know think !!

I can’t find them now either. Here are two others that you could try:

MyPossibleSelf is totally free and has a mindfulness and meditation section. I haven’t used the meditations on it but it looks hopeful.

Insight Timer-Meditate, Sleep has a free trial but some meditations are free. The quality and voices vary but it might be worth a shot.

i haven’t a subscription to Headspace at the moment as it is expensive, but for me, it was worth taking advantage of the free trial to watch and listen to how meditation can change the thought processes of your brain and how to free it from unwanted thoughts. 

I don’t think any of these apps are aimed at autistic people, so please just keep that in mind when you try anything like that. I’m pretty sure Headspace and MyPossibleSelf are ok, but I can’t really vouch for any of them and I don’t want somebody to read this and think that autistic people can change their natural behaviours.

Dear Flossie,

Please don't "sweat the small stuff" !  I talk to myself, out loud, ALL the time.  Yes....it is a bit "weird"......that is taken as a given.......but frankly, I think it is actually BETTER to allow that dialogue to come to the surface!  It allows YOU to assess whether it is a problematic matter...or not.

I have found that my "dialogue" is actually INCREDIBLY rational most of the time.  Those hearing it are generally comforted by it because it shows how my mind is thinking (if they are not bigoted idiots.)

Admittedly, I am in a privileged position where (frankly) I don't care if people "judge" me or not.......and I know that many others cannot afford such "judgement".......but if you can......my advice is "LET IT OUT", own it, and assess what it is telling you, about yourself.

I wish you well, in any event.

Yours

Number.

What re the NHS apps? I can’t afford the paid for ones

Well put  glad it’s not just me.

is it autistic or just normal?

Yes me too

Thank you, that’s very helpful

1. There's no abuse or arguments, it's more that I am experiencing things on two different levels. One of them is in the real world and one of them is in my head.

TheCatWoman said:

I have arguments with myself quite often, it's not unusual for me to have one voice twlling me how crap I am and another reminding me that I'm not.

It may be interesting to read this article as regularly or overly critical inner voices can be a sign of another condition:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-leading-edge/202404/when-hearing-voices-is-not-a-symptom-of-mental-illness

How can we distinguish the pathological hallucinations heard by people with mental illness from the helpful inner voices that occur in mentally healthy individuals? Distinguishing characteristics include the nature of the voices, their content, and their effects on those who hear them.

For example, verbal hallucinations tend to speak in single words, short phrases, or brief sentences, whereas helpful inner voices generally speak in complete sentences or extended discourses. Also, verbal hallucinations tend to be judgmental, critical, or condemning, but helpful inner voices are often supportive and helpful. Additionally, verbal hallucinations seem real only to the person who hears them, but helpful inner voices can provide benefits that extend to others as well.

I'm not trying to diagnose you or anything, just pointing you to something to consider since you know your way round your own mental health well.

Have you tried any meditation or mindfulness techniques? There are NHS apps and others such as ‘Headspace’ or ‘Calm’ that could help shift your focus from the commentary without having to listen to podcasts or the TV. It took me a while to get into meditation and I neglect it at times but it definitely helps reduce the constant thoughts that can go round in my head. 

I have arguments with myself quite often, it's not unusual for me to have one voice twlling me how crap I am and another reminding me that I'm not. But then I argue out loud with books too!

There no massive abuse, just criticism that the outside me isn’t being authentic or is making an idiot of itself by trying too hard and failing (complete lack of social skills).

Thank you. It’s definitely me. It’s actually feels like it’s the ‘real’ me whilst the external me is trying to do what is socially acceptable, if that makes sense? So the internal voice is often telling me I’m talking rubbish just to be sociable or making a fool of myself because I say the wrong thing at the wrong time as I’m trying too hard.

Yes this is what I feel, it’s almost as if the me in my head is separate from the me doing whatever it is, but they are both definitely me! 
It’s particularly noticeable when I behave in a way which is the opposite to how I really feel - like trying to be sociable when I just want to run and hide. 
But yes I wish it would just up sometimes too!

Do mean the majority of people inc NTs? I’ve asked about it and other people don’t seem to have it like I do.

My psychiatrist said ‘dissociation’ could be part of my extreme anxiety/depression. But I’ve never been without it…

McFrost said:

One is engaged in the thing I am doing and the other is observing and commenting on it. It's definitely my own voice

When you start to have internal arguements or one voice giving abuse then this is a good sign that help is needed.

I have this. It feels like I have two streams of thought running simultaneously. One is engaged in the thing I am doing and the other is observing and commenting on it. It's definitely my own voice but I wish it would bugger off sometimes and let me just enjoy something!