Turning 30 in a couple of weeks and worried about my future...

- I haven't got a job - and I'm unsure what I am good at.

I was a teacher in the United States and at American schools abroad  for 32 years. During my last 15 years as a teacher, I taught vocational educaton and was a Culinary Arts instructor. There are all sorts of job counseling progams that are online. If you do an internet search for "free career aptitude test," you should get a list of the types of jobs that you might best be suited for. 

If you were to apply for a job, please do not write "anything" as a response to  the question, 'What position are you applying for?' It is not theresponsibility of management or human resources to determine where your aptitute lies. 

After you have an idea of what you might want to do, find a job website like Indeed.com to look for a job. 

- I'm worried I will never find anyone since I don't go clubbing or to pubs etc 

There are lots of ways to meet people. Most of my friends are people with whom I have shared a common interest. Some were met through volunteer groups. Others were met through Church,

In addition to dating websites ae social sites like meetup.com. Meetup is a social website that allows people to form special interest groups. It's free to log-in. You start by inputting your location and local groups in your area will pop up. In my area there is a daytripper group (for people who want compionship during a day trip), a dinner and a movie group, yoga, baking, arts and crafts etc.

- I'm worried about money all the time and end up spending my monthly money just to distract my thoughts (I find it very hard to budget)

Find a job and put yourself on a budget. 

- I worried that if I meet someone that I will be taken advantage of because I don't understand certain things.

There are paid sites that will run criminal background checks on people. These sites are useful in confirming employment status, relationship status, education background, names of relatives, and the person's current and past residential addresses.

- I'm scared that if I do end up with someone that they could end up like my dad

Don't rush into a relationship. Take your time to get to know this person prior to making any emotional committment. 

Hi , 

To be honest this post was before the other post  as the website had took it off for abuse and I had to appeal . So when you said that I’m still young, that was after I posted this

That’s what I’m worried about when it comes to kids…I want to be a mum and I know there are other ways to be a mum but I would like to experience that moment with someone special x

Hi Amy,

I was one of the "you're still young people". I apologize. At the time there were few users and I saw your post and felt that I had to just something so you could see that your post was seen and it didn't get lost with no replies.

I do have a partner who I met when I was older than you are now. We can't have kids and it is something that upsets me almost every day.

It's fine to repeat yourself here. There will always be someone who hasn't seen a previous post. Especially with old users getting access again, or making new accounts.

I would write down steps but I’m so indecisive and will have no idea where to start  

It does feel a little like you know how I’m feeling, but I just don’t see how I’m going to get out of this feeling  x

I think for me I’m just finding the world scary now that next week I will be 30. I keep telling myself to look in the present and not the past or future, but my mind can’t help it.

I guess it’s because I just feel that someone my age should have a job, a partner, a house, be engaged, have kids etc because I see other people my age who has all that. It might also because I envy my brother too since he has a job, a house, a fiancé etc 

I just find it really hard to see anything exciting that is going to happen for me. I’m trying my hardest when it comes to looking for jobs, doing online courses, learning what I can in volunteering. But always in the back of my mind I have that doubt and that worry that I won’t get to experience the things that everyone else has experienced.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow (Wednesday) for my lady problems and hope there is nothing serious to worry about. 

But I guess with my mind I just don’t know how to think in the present  x

Hi Amy,

I can see that you are feeling overwhelmed right now. It’s totally understandable- a great many of us feel this way when we look at every potential problem in our lives - it’s a lot to think about. 
we can all imagine potential disasters if we start looking to the future and wondering what it holds. Ultimately it’s not helpful to look back into the past too much or look to the future too much. Try to bring your focus back to now, and making today a bit better. What do you enjoy doing? Try and concentrate on improving your life as it is now rather than projecting your worries into the future. None of us can really know what the future holds - things can change and develop in ways we never predicted. What you do have more control over is how you’re living your life now. 

For what its worth I don't have a girlfriend, and am unemployed due to poor mental health. I hate going to pubs and club too as its very anxiety provoking. My baseline level of anxiety shoots up the moment I'm in such an environment. 

Ok - so if I were in that position, something I'd find really helpful is to write down small practical steps to achieve 'big' goals/significant life stages. 

I think we as Autistic people are very naturally 'big picture' thinkers - less I'm mistaken. We can become so fixated on potential future effects, that we can easily gloss over practical things.