Published on 12, July, 2020
I am married to an ASD man.
I talk about my unmet emotional needs and he doesn't understand when I talk about the lack of connection.
He just talks about whether I am meeting his unmet needs which are just idealistic and not a basic need.
Can anyone help? Am I fighting a losing battle? Is an emotional connection not possible in an ND relationship?
I can tell you from personal experience that an emotional connection is very much possible with autistic people. It just might not be in the form you're expecting. Though, you make me curious when you say that his unmet needs are idealistic and not basic. Are you comfortable with elaborating on this?
I feel more connected through a deep meaningful conversation and holding hands than other forms of connection. Intimacy is sometimes difficult for me
Humour is a very big part of what makes me feel connected with someone. Inside jokes are a must. Being playfully silly. Or when something you find funny happens, and you look to that one person, and they're already looking your way because they want to know if you found it as funny as they did.
I also like taking care of someone if I'm close with them like that. I was with this woman for a little while. She would drink wine and fall asleep in her chair. I'd pick her up, carry her to her bed, and tuck her in. I'd very much like to be able to do that again in the future.
I don’t like eating out for few reasons. One thing is that food from restaurants often gives me stomach troubles, other thing is that I hate eating when there is someone in front of me and potentially looking at me eating. There is a big risk that someone sit down in front of me and then I have to turn my head to not look at them and there is a risk the person would look at me making me feel extremely uncomfortable. Other issue is noise, smells, lights etc. it’s just a big NO. Any meal only at home with the view on our backyard with trees and sound of singing birds